NO MORE NICE GIRL?

For years now emotional intelligence (EI) has been touted as an important skill set to have, and one that women in particular, have mastered.

It was Daniel Goleman who popularized this concept. He found that the most effective leaders were alike in one crucial way – they had emotional intelligence. They had empathy for other people.

However, recently German researchers have found that being nice doesn’t pay and in fact women who are agreeable, earned $80,000 less in their lifetime that those who were more ruthless and demonstrated more male behaviours.

It is now believed that to survive and succeed in business, you need toughness. So often, observes Suzy Welch, former editor of the Harvard Business Review, women take on the good mother role. She believes that “empathy paralyzes you when you need to make tough people decisions or give tough feedback.”

And certainly when you talk to successful entrepreneurs, they admit that they’ve kept someone on the payroll longer than they should and that in hindsight, they would have done better to fire the employee early on when the signs were there that it wasn’t going to work.

Another component of emotional intelligence is self-knowledge and this too, researchers believe, turns out to be a dangerous weapon for women at work. Research suggests that men tend to over-estimate their abilities, while women tend to underestimate theirs. Women doubt themselves and self-doubt is not an asset in business.

However, in a recent study, How Remarkable Women Lead, the two female consultants argue that a woman’s emotional depth helps her be not just a better person, but a better leader who can deliver results.

Personally I like the way women lead and their collaborative approach to business. Being sensitive to people’s needs can take you a long way. But success lies in knowing when to use your emotional intelligence, and when to make the tough decisions that have to be made if your business is to survive and grow.

What do you think?

A cautionary tale

I recently attended a free workshop, which while mildly informative, seemed aimed at promoting a bigger, better and expensive event down the road. Throughout the workshop there were hints of what was to come if we signed up, almost a tease if you will, and the last fifteen minutes were totally spent up-selling us on this other program. I know... nothing in life is free, and what did I expect.

Well I left at that point, thinking thanks, but no thanks. However, later I received a phone call to see if I was interested, and I advised no. Then I received around six emails in that many days, encouraging me to sign up and not miss out on this special offer, which frankly at over $1,200+ did not seem that special an offer to me. Ultimately, weary of all the solicitation, I unsubscribed.

End of story, or so I thought. So you can imagine my annoyance when I received an email from someone who had taken the training, was raving about it and introducing me to the presenter, who gave a further pitch for the next program to be offered.

I‘m not normally someone who reacts strongly or so immediately, but in this instance I zapped off an email saying I didn’t appreciate this overture and that it seemed like someone trying to sneak in the back door, when I had already locked it.

Now I personally like and respect the people involved, but they are misguided. They need to know that this form of aggressive selling, truly doesn’t work with people like me. In fact, it does the opposite, it is a total turn-off.

So if you are someone who believes that aggressive sales tactics are perfectly fine and part of doing business, fine, but just don’t bother me, because I am not home, I am not interested and I am not buying. Period.

READ THE SMALL PRINT

We’re always told to be careful about the small print. I remember hearing a story of how one company got people to sign up, and by just clicking on their site that you agreed to the terms and conditions, you’d actually agreed to sell your soul.

Clearly this company was making a point. We’re often all too quick to check that little box, without really reading it through.

Last week, I almost… almost, made a grave error. I’d agreed dates with the venue we’ve used for the past year for our breakfast meetings and they’d sent me the contracts to sign. I’d actually signed one when I suddenly looked at the figures. They didn’t make sense and when I got out my calculator and did the math, I found that they’d doubled the price!

They didn’t point this out. Maybe they thought I would just sign – and I nearly did or that I would be fine paying more than I am charging. Right. And there was also no negotiation once I confronted them on it, so guess what … we’re dining elsewhere.

But the moral of this story, is check the bottom line. Don’t always assume that people will alert you to changes. Read the small print, because we’d hate you to lose your soul.

DO WOMEN HAVE THE WINNING INSTINCT?

This spring we had a panel of successful athletes share how to develop a winning attitude. Much of their conversation focused on our inner talk, and how when we focus, visualize ourselves winning, it can happen.

So I was interested to read the latest research in a recent issue of Psychologies about whether women really have the winning instinct. Traditionally we assume that women are less competitive than men, and lack the killer instinct that will enable them to win at all costs. However, the latest research shows that women can and do compete, they just experience the stress of competing differently to men.

“We found that men and women were just as good as each other at coping with stress, but worry about different things.” Observes sports psychologist .Dr. Mariana Kaiseler. “Men are more stressed by outcomes and whether they will win or lose. Getting the reward is their main motivation.” Women on the other hand are more concerned about performance. Men rely on planning prior to a game, while women prefer to talk about their anxieties.

Significantly researchers have found that while women admit to more anxiety, it doesn’t appear to make them less successful. If anything admitting to anxieties and fears can be positive. Women tend to be more co-operative and have greater levels of self-disclosure and as a result, they are more likely to get help for a problem. Whereas men are more closed and don’t like to admit to weaknesses.

Another female trait is that women tend to downplay their abilities on and off the sports pitch, but men come across as more confident and tend to rate themselves higher, whether worthy of that rating or not.

Sports psychologists describe mental toughness as key to success and there are the four C’s – commitment to winning, confidence, ability to control your emotions and view a stressful situation as a challenge. Certainly as entrepreneurs we often see challenges as opportunities.

Here are four tips that the sports psychologists provide on cultivating a winning instinct:

1. Overcome negative thoughts – Walk away or distract yourself if you fall into negative predictions of what could happen.

2. Don’t let one mistake colour the rest of your performance. See it as a one-off and look at ways to learn from that situation.

3. Reflect on why really want to win and do well. Is it to please other people or does the desire come from within you to prove yourself?

4. Accept that you are not perfect. After making an error, the best players refocus very quickly on what’s in front of them. Learn to deal with setbacks and move on.

QUICK ASSUMPTIONS

Have you ever noticed how some words take on a whole meaning of their own? How we can get the wrong end of the stick by making quick assumptions?

For example, much is written these days about social media and if you just latch on to the word social you could assume, wrongly in my view, that it was just about making friends and being social, rather than being about business and involve work.

When I worked in government I reported to someone who didn’t like the word play with regards to children – it sounded too frivolous to him – so we had to change all the wording in documents to read knowledge-based activities. Given that children learn through play this wasn’t far off the mark, but why make it so complicated and what was wrong with saying it as it is?

More recently, I’ve come across the book The One Page Business Plan which my Me Inc participants asked me to include in the program. Now this is a useful book and it does walk you through the process, but the words one-page do imply a quick fix, an easy task. That you can boil down your plans to one page, actually requires a lot of work. You still have to go through the research, do your homework and think through what you actually want to achieve. The fact that you can capture it on one page is the bonus, but without doing the work required to get there, it’s a waste of paper.

We live in a world that wants instant fixes, that makes quick assumptions and judgments, and sometimes, we just have to slow down, and do it the old-fashioned way –one step at a time.

THE WORST DOESN'T ALWAYS HAPPEN

We just got cows on our farm, which I suppose given the acronym of Company of Women may seem appropriate. But I was not enthusiastic, and in fact told my husband that living on a farm was one thing, but I hadn’t signed up for cows.

Of course, regardless of my concerns, he went ahead. There are eight of them – mainly black and white and one brown fellow that kind of gets left out by the others. It’s as if they know she’s different.

My fears focused on the noise – like they would wake us up early at weekends – and the smell, and I have to confess neither has happened. In fact I think I have only heard them “moo” once. They are in such a large field, which admittedly is near the farmhouse, but we hardly ever see them. In fact I started to get concerned one day when I hadn’t seen them for a while. I had this picture in my mind of them lying legs in the air in the middle of the field, and we’d never know.

You may be thinking this is all very nice and domestic Anne but what does it have to do with business? Well, my point to this story is that sometimes the worst doesn’t happen and when we are open to new experiences, we can be pleasantly surprised. I actually like having them around – but ssh that’s our secret – heaven knows what Andy would get next if he knew he’d converted me.

And no, we haven’t named them. Although my son-in-law came up with a few names like sirloin steak and ground beef.

WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER

Is there part of your work that always seems to be a thorn in your side – sort of a necessary evil? That is how I feel about our print directory. I never forget the first one we did – it was like Murphy’s Law – what could go wrong, did. From losing the database to computer crashes to people getting sick, the 2004 directory finally appeared six months late and in 2005!

And here we are again. We’re about to publish the directory – this time using a new format – and already we’ve hit a snag. A pretty big one. Despite all the emails, the reminders and prompts, over 120 members have not got their information up on the website, which is where we take the data for the print directory.

So like the teacher chastising the tardy students, last night I emailed each and every one of them to give an extended deadline, with the warning that if they don’t get it in by then, they’re out of luck and we proceed without them.

I know we are all busy with far too much to do, myself included. Although I have to say, I work well to deadlines. My concern is that you can bet some of these people will be the first to complain that they didn’t get any business through us, when they haven’t done their bit to make it happen.

There, lecture over. The one good thing from the personal emails, is that members seem grateful that we’ve taken the time to contact them. Personally I call it customer service.

TRY FIRST

When my kids were growing up, they would often ask where something was before even looking for it, and invariably it was right in front of them. And at times, well occasionally, they thought Mom had extra-special vision as even from a distance I would instinctively know where something was located.

Unfortunately some of us carry this practice into adulthood, and rather than persevere and try to learn for ourselves, we automatically assume we can’t and ask someone else for the answers or to do it for us. I know I have been guilty of this one, especially around anything technical or mathematical.

But really we sell ourselves short. And think of the sense of accomplishment, if we worked it all out and did it for ourselves. So next time you are faced with something you are not sure how to do, take a deep breath, tell yourself you can, and give it the “good college try” because when we revert back to the practices of childhood, we don’t move forward, in fact we go back.

ONE STEP AT A TIME

To celebrate Canada Day, one of our farm neighbours held a barn dance last weekend where we all learned to square dance.

Definitely a new experience and I have to confess, my husband was a reluctant participant. He’s hard to get on the dance floor at the best of times, let alone to learn something new.

It was interesting to see how the instructor taught us. First he would walk us through the steps – starting with basics, then we did it to music. We’d have a break and then he’d up the ante a bit, and teach us something a bit more complicated. This went on all evening, until the finale which was by far the most difficult routine.

Not sure what he does for his day job, but he sure understood how adults learn. He built it up gradually, rather than shoving us in at the deep end. He let us walk through the steps without music first so that by the time we did the dance, we had a sense of what to do. By the end of the evening, we had more confidence and could tackle that last dance, but if he’d started there, he would have lost us. Giving us breaks worked well too – and actually we needed them because it is quite a work out.

Starting a business is just the same. We need to start in the shallow end. Do our homework, learn the basic steps and building on that, move forward. So often people are impatient, anxious to get going, without realizing that you have to lay the foundation if you want to build a solid business.

Just as Gary Vaynerchuk says in his book, Why Now is Time to Crush It! Cash in on Your Passion, you have to prepare yourself for a marathon. Few of us make it in a sprint.

And as for the square dancing – you know what - it was fun.

Read Why Now is the Time to Crush It! Cash in On Your Passion this weekend. As recommended by author, have signed up for Ping

WE DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALL

Like many women, I like to keep people happy. Although I have learned through my seven years of running Company of Women that this is impossible. You can’t please everyone – I just look at the diverse range of evaluations we receive after an event, to wonder if the respondents were actually at the same event! And as for those who complain about too much balsamic vinegar in the dressing – they need to get a life.

So I really thought I had got over this need to please. Wrong. On Tuesday, our new team at Company of Women, eight of us in total, went off for a retreat. We wanted to spend the day together, getting to know one another and forming a shared vision for the future.

It was exciting for me to see others so enthusiastic about Company of Women and what we can do to help women grow, both professionally and personally. As one person observed, as a group we were pretty diverse in our backgrounds and experiences, but then so is our membership, and there was mutual respect for what we could accomplish together.

In our recent survey, women had raised several ideas of how Company of Women could support them. We were using those results to brainstorm ways in which we could address those needs. As ever keen to meet those expectations, I had all sorts of ideas of what we could do, but the team was quick to remind me that we can’t be all things to all people and perhaps the women had to take responsibility for helping themselves achieve their goals.

It was a timely reminder that I need to keep my focus laser-sharp or we run the risk of diluting what we do and spreading our limited resources too thin. Left to my own devices, I likely would have just leapt in, which speaks to the importance of surrounding yourself with people who will give honest feedback and tell you when you are moving in the wrong direction.

And it is not that we are going to ignore the survey results, but more we will look at what we currently offer and make sure people are aware of the opportunities available to them and will form strategic alliances where appropriate, rather than relying and delivering all the programs and services ourselves.

WE FOUND OUR BEAT

I must confess I was bit like a little kid organizing a surprise party. Only a handful of people knew what we were planning at the end of our Journey to Success conference. We called the session Finding Your Beat – an interactive activity – which actually accurately described what we would be doing – but I suspect no one really imagined that it would be drumming.

We led the women into the room, table by table, as the drummers drummed them in. Without a word being said, the women picked a drum, sat down and started drumming. It was fascinating to watch as women joined in. There they were, many in their finest, with an African drum between their legs, pounding and following the rhythm in the room.

Most people, myself included, really got into it and when we finished our first “performance” there was a loud howl as we congratulated ourselves on the music we’d made.

Now ending the conference on this “note” was a risk, and to be honest not everyone participated, some people left and that is fair enough, but for those who stayed (around 150 women) it was an empowering way to end an inspiring day and my sense was that the women left feeling they could tackle anything.

And Terri – who led us through the activity, landed another contract from someone who participated. Now that is what it is all about.

Oh The Places You will Go

It’s done. I shared my pearls of wisdom with the 2010 graduating class from Sheridan College on Wednesday. It was quite the gathering with over 300 students graduating from the ECE program, plus their family and friends.

I can’t tell you how many times I wrote and re-wrote that speech. I would write it, rehearse it in my head as I went to sleep and then when I woke in the morning, decide, no, it still needed some fine-tuning.

I also asked around to find out what Convocation speeches usually cover. The main feedback was that they are boring. Definitely didn’t want to go there.

In the end I used a combination of previous versions, and added as I went along at the actual event. I narrowed it down to four pieces of advice – any more than that and I thought I would lose their attention, and being menopausal I didn’t want to stretch my memory either!

What did I say?

1. Take risks – stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. Even if it doesn’t work out, it’s a lesson learned, not a mistake.

2. Volunteer – you gain as much as you give, if not more

3. Your attitude determines your altitude. Life happens and while you can’t control everything, you can control how you react.

4. Believe in yourself. Surround yourself with positive people who will support you. Make sure to take time for yourself.

I ended by reading a few verses from Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, the Places You’ll Go.”

My thanks to those of you who sent in tips and advice to share with the students. I tried to incorporate them where I could.

And the response – I got a lot of positive feedback from teachers, parents and students, including one young man who has attended all the convocations so far this year and thought my speech was by far the best. So all in all – a worthwhile experience for everyone.

WORDS OF WISDOM

What advice would you give to graduating students about to embark on their career?

I have been pondering this for a few weeks now since I was asked to speak at the Convocation for students graduating from the Early Childhood Education program at Sheridan College.

Suddenly clichéd phrases like “find your passion” seem overused and what does that mean anyway? In a recent blog, Seth Godin brought up the whole art of speaking simply instead of trying to impress or confuse the listener with a stream of words that frankly amount to nothing. And I agree. But then I have always been of the ilk that what you see, is what you get.

I have ten minutes to share the wisdom I have learned in over 40 years of working. Hmm. Where to start? I’ve decided to focus on taking risks and being open to new opportunities. Perhaps that’s my entrepreneurial spirit speaking out, but I would hate to see young people stuck, although with the way they seem to skip from one job to the next, this may not be a concern for them.

But it’s not so much about the job jumping, it’s about being open to changing careers. I find that young people sometimes think that once they have settled on a career, that’s it, whether they like it or not. I don’t know about you, but I have had a very eclectic career working in different sectors, although admittedly always focusing on women or children.

When I think of all the lessons I have learned, it has always been when I have stretched myself or made an error in judgement. Note I don’t say mistake, because I don’t think they are mistakes – they are lessons I had to learn, and sometimes the hard way.

Truth of the matter is, no matter what I say on Wednesday, these young people will go forward and learn their own lessons. You just want them to do so with their self-esteem in tact and surrounded by people who care for them.

It takes me back to my early days of teaching a program called Your Child’s Self Esteem, where the two key ingredients to having high self-esteem are believing “I am lovable” and “I am worthwhile.” Seems to me the same applies to us as adults.

WHEN WEST MEETS EAST

Istanbul is a city of contrasts. It has one foot in the western world, symbolized by the tall high rises on the city landscape, but with over 2,200 mosques across the city; the women, young and old, wearing headscarves and the chanting throughout the day, you cannot deny the strong religious and eastern overtones. And then there’s the pockets of poverty, where buildings that are crumbling and collapsing, are actually lived in and like any other major city, where street beggars, often children, approach you for money.

The International Women’s Leadership and Entrepreneurship Summit was very much like the city.

Organized by Kagider, the Women Entrepreneurs Association of Turkey, like the tall buildings, these women stood out. To be a member of the association they have to achieve a certain level of success and with their power and influence, they wanted to create awareness and dialogue about the important role of women in Turkish society.

And they are to be congratulated on bringing such a diverse group of speakers together – from senior ministers within the Turkish government, to leaders in the corporate world, to academics and a handful of “experts” from around the world.

However, like the city itself, you could not ignore the religious implications of being a woman in Turkey. Without doubt, the most heated discussions (and I mean heated) centred on religion and diversity. Listening through an interpreter made it hard to follow at times and it became so explosive that you could see that these issues are deep-rooted and not going to be resolved easily. It’s complex but at least the summit opened the doors for dialogue on topics that are not normally aired in a public forum.

While outwardly Turkey appears to be a progressive country , like the pockets of poverty, there are areas where they have a long way to go in supporting women. With only 26% of women in the labour force, the infrastructure is just not in place. For example, child care for working mothers is minimal and gender equity policies not developed or implemented.

In Canada our research has shown that the first six years of a child’s life are the most important in terms of learning. In Turkey, preschool programs for children are only for the few families who can afford it and the compulsory starting age for school is six. All of which has implications for the growth and development of children, and impacts their mothers’ potential to work outside the home.

Listening for two days through a translator, has given me a fresh perspective on what it is like to come to a country and not understand the language. It is hard to concentrate for that long and in not knowing the language, you also miss the nuances of what is being said.

All this to say, that I am still digesting all that I learned at the summit – about Turkey, the plight of women living there and my own understanding and acceptance of cultural differences. But one thing I do know, I met some fascinating and wonderful women who enriched the experience and with whom I hope to keep in touch.

And hey – I can now say I am an international speaker!!

GOING GLOBAL

Recently I had the pleasure of interviewing Pamela Wallin, someone I have admired and respected for a long time. She started off as a social worker in the prison system – a far cry from where she has landed as a Senator in the Canadian Parliament.

When I asked her about whether she had any idea of how her life would unfold, she told me that her rule was to say “yes” to anything that took her out of her comfort zone.

I remembered her words when I was asked to come speak at the Global Women’s Leadership Summit in Turkey, because my first reaction was to decline as public speaking is definitely not in my comfort zone! Plus no pressure, Hillary Clinton was their keynote last year. So with some fear and in trepidation, I said yes, and here I am today, getting packed up and ready to go.

The organizers have sent me the questions in advance and I am glad they did, because the role of civic society is not something I tend to think about on a daily basis. As I look at the array of speakers in place – professors, diplomats and women leaders from around the world, I am trying not to get intimidated.

I’ve done my homework. In fact, I was still researching on the weekend and then decided to stop. I have to remind myself that I need to talk about what I know, as someone “in the trenches” if you will.

So stay tuned as I go global.

LATEST SCOOP ON GOOGLE

Did you know that Canadians carry out on average 143 searches on Google a month? Or that the location of Tim Hortons is the most downloaded information in Canada?

These were just two of the facts shared at our Toronto breakfast when Sabrina Geremia
from Google came to share the latest from Google.. And for those of you who were not there, here are the seven tools she recommended for small business owners:

1. Ad words
2. Google Analytics
3. Google Insight and Search
4. YouTube.com
5. Google Enterprise
6. Moderator
7. Webmaster

Many of these resources are free of charge.

It is predicted that by 2013, the mobile will be the most common way to access the Internet.

Doubt be gone

As I go through the surveys recently completed by women who are part of the Company of Women community, I am struck by how many have told us that they feel isolated and suffer from self-doubt, questioning their ability to make their business a success.

It’s good to know really because all of us go through those emotions, and we tend to think we are the only ones who struggle with our confidence. Wrong. Everyone, even the most successful, has had moments of self-doubt.

The key is not to let the fear paralyze you, making it impossible to move forward with your dreams.

Whenever I have felt overwhelmed and out of my depth, I have called on my friends to bolster me up – and they do – just as I do for them when they need an injection of confidence. Think about who you could call on – who’s on your team?

And if my confidence reaches a real low, I go to my Success Box, where I have kept press clippings, thank you letters and other evidence of my abilities, and I read through the contents. They remind me of the skills and strengths I bring to my business. What would you keep?

When I was first working at home, I would consciously arrange meetings so that I had something and someone to meet most days. This helped to reduce the sense of isolation I would feel. It was good to get out beyond the four walls of my home office – even if it was just to meet a friend for coffee – it worked.

One of the challenges when you first start out, is you don’t know what you don’t know. I found reading business books, talking to other more seasoned business owners and taking courses helped to build my repertoire of knowledge.

Mary Kay once said if you think you can, you can and if you think you can’t, you’re right. Believe you can, and it will happen.

PS There are some great suggestions in our Company of Women LinkedIn group

Working Together

Maybe I have been mixing with the wrong crowd in the past, but lately it has been exciting to meet up with people who actually get it. They want to work with you, but realize it has to be win-win for all involved.

So when someone starts off the conversation asking how can they help me, they’re one step closer to winning me over. Now that doesn’t mean that I am an easy target. I try to be strategic in who I partner up with, but at best, it is an indicator that the person or company recognizes the value of working together and is willing to give in order to gain.

In another life I was a community developer, and much of that role was listening and trying to bring the right players together to make change happen. Seems to me, that’s a bit like what I do now. It’s just the playing field has changed and the rules might be slightly different.

Personally I love the challenge of coming up with creative ways of doing business differently so that all involved get something out of it. Going into the meeting with a game plan is key, so that you know ahead of time what you want, what you won’t give (our database is one) and how far you will go to make the deal happen.

So next time you are meeting with someone to talk business – start the conversation by asking “How can I help you?” Likely you will be amazed at the outcome.

Spinning

Each weekend as I sit to write my blog I reflect on the week gone by and what I have learned. And believe me, I am a life-long learner – there is always something. I am also fortunate to meet some pretty amazing women who have stories to share and whose tenacity I applaud.

So what was the lesson this week? I need to plan my time better. In our recent survey, time management was flagged as a big challenge for women business owners, especially solopreneurs where they have to do everything.

While I am fortunate now to have staff, managing my time is still a struggle and at times I feel like a “hot commodity” and everyone wants a piece of me. Take last week – I was barely in the office at all and this is not good. Yes, I can delegate but I am still the person steering the ship and I still have tasks that I have to do.

I always start my week with a list of what has to be done. But I find that if I don’t have a concentrated piece of time behind my desk, I start to feel scattered and that nothing is getting accomplished.

And it’s not just the business meetings that have to be scheduled, it’s the self-care appointments – like the dentist, the ophthalmologist, doctor, etc…, all part of a woman’s life and I haven’t even got into what we have to juggle on the home front or stealing time to see friends.

Feeling exhausted? Well that was my week – two rigorous sessions with my fitness trainer; a medical appointment that had me out of commission for three hours; a Company of Women dinner; four one-on-one sessions with women; a night out with girlfriends; a retirement party at my husband’s office, a dinner party this weekend and one meeting with a potential partner that was cancelled (thank goodness) And that’s just the face-to-face time I had with people, never mind the phone calls, the emails etc… You get the picture.

I think I need rescuing from myself. I am beginning to feel like the hampster on a treadmill. It’s time to come off and hit ground zero.

No – I either have to clone myself or start working smarter. Any suggestions?

How resilient are you?

I am sure we all know of someone who despite all that has happened to her, she seems to bounce back and carry on.

In a recent book, Resilience: Bounce Back From Whatever Life Throws at You, business psychologist Jane Clarke and Dr. John Nicholson, set out to discover which personality characteristics help people triumph over difficult life circumstances.

Why do some people remained confident no matter what? These people found stress energizing rather than debilitating and seemed to relish change.

Their research isolated five key factors that set the most resilient individuals apart:

• optimism,
• freedom from stress and anxiety,
• taking personal responsibility,
• openness and adaptability, and
• a positive and active approach to problem-solving.

One surprising result was that women scored consistently lower in their Resilient Quotient (RQ) than men. The researchers found that the differences between the sexes could be accounted for by level of optimism. Optimism is key to resilience because if you don’t believe things can improve, it’s hard to carry on.

The authors believe that much of the difference has to do with how men and women view their abilities versus their actual ability to cope. In other words, men overestimate what they can do, while women put themselves down.

Another interesting finding was that the most resilient in their study, had had terrible childhoods. These individuals were often the eldest child who had taken on the job of looking after the younger siblings. Essentially they learned they could cope.

The good news, regardless of childhood experiences, we can all learn to be more resilient. “You can train yourself,” says Clarke “Women especially need to stop beating themselves up and recognize how well they do actually cope.”

And recently I have interviewed several successful women entrepreneurs who have done just that. None would change what had happened to them, as these difficult life circumstances have shaped who they’ve become.

While many of us spend too much time debating where we went wrong and beating ourselves up over mistakes, these women see mistakes as life lessons to learn and move on.

Their struggles have made them more determined to succeed and given them the impetus and drive to change their lives. Challenges are viewed as opportunities to grow, rather than difficult situations to overcome.

Their optimism and resilience has enabled them to take action, rise above the challenges and achieve success. They are our role models, giving us faith that we can do it too.

Women in IT

This past week I was invited to speak at a women’s networking group that had been started internally by a multinational software company. Recognizing that working in a male-dominated industry can be challenging for their female employees, they wanted to be proactive and support them.

Like the major law and accounting firms, more organizations are starting to develop programs to support the professional and personal development of their female staff. And it makes sense to invest in such strategies if they want to retain and grow the talent they have within their organizations.

There were three of us on the panel and our topic was the power of networking. None of us had met before and we came from different backgrounds, yet our advice was very similar.

1. You have to believe in yourself first before you can ask others to have faith in your abilities. Try to limit your self-doubt and surround yourself with positive people who will support you.

2. When you network, both internally and externally, give first. As one panel member said “when you give, forget but when you receive, always remember” Good advice.

3. Consider volunteering, both within and outside of the organization. You gain new skills sets, broaden your networks and your horizons because who knows where your volunteer roles can take you.

4. Ask for opportunities within the organization. One of the reasons women are often overlooked for a promotion is they haven’t got management experience. Think about your long term goals, reflect on what skills and experiences you will need to get there, and go for it.

5. Find a mentor who will encourage and support you. Someone who sees your potential; who will always be honest with you, even if you don’t like the message and who is willing to invest the time in fostering your development.

6. Rather than trying to achieve work-life balance, determine your priorities which will change as your career and family life evolves. Always make some time for yourself.

Global research suggests that addressing the problem of shortage of women in the IT sector starts young, when girls' self concepts and aspirations are formed. CATA WIT has recently launched a new website - http://www.bringiton.ca which focuses on educating young women about careers in advanced technology and providing access to mentors - women who have been successful in these types of careers.

YOUNG WOMEN ARE DREAMING BIG

A study of young Canadian girls ages eight to twelve found that 51% want to own their own company of one day, and more than 54% were optimistic that nothing could stand in the way of their dreams.

This is good news, but look at their ages. Will they still be thinking the same way once they are teenagers or later on when they hit the workplace?

Last week I had the opportunity to attend the Women in Leadership conference put on by Rotman business students for Rotman business students. It was an impressively organized event and kudos to the students for running such an exciting, energizing and inspiring day.

One of the speakers was giving advice to the young women, and as I listened, I thought it had much relevance for all of us, no matter the age. Here are her ten tips for a successful life:

1. Think about yourself. Ask what am I built to do.
2. Focus on your strengths – hire your weaknesses
3. Recognize opportunity
4. Have negative friends? Find new ones
5. Think, speak and act positively
6. Create a strategy for your business and your life
7. Get out there and fail – it’s OK
8. Master the golden rule of networking – give
9. Build your brand
10. Find a mentor

Perhaps if our young eight to twelve year olds understand these rules, they have a good chance of realizing their dreams.

HIRING BLUES

I have spent this past week interviewing for a new staff position in our office. It’s an entry level job, and we are not paying a lot, yet we received over 65 applications, and continue to receive them on a daily basis.

Says a lot about the economy I guess. We wanted someone part time, but I suspect that many of the people applying really wanted full time and would likely just take our job as a stop gap which is definitely not what I wanted. Gone are the days when someone stays a decent time, making it worthwhile to train and invest in them.

If any of you reading this are looking for a job – here’s some pointers that might help you land an interview:

1. Always, always send a cover letter
2. Check the job advertisement, and if a name is provided, address your letter
to that person
3. Avoid saying Dear Sir or Madam
4. Check for spelling mistakes or typos
5. Keep your resume short – 2 pages maximum
6. Tie your strengths and skills to those mentioned in the advertisement

These days many of us interviewing will use behavioral/experiential questions. Think of some examples ahead of time that will showcase your strengths, so that when you’re asked to demonstrate a point, you have the answer right there and are not stumped.

The good news is that we found someone who I think will be great and she starts next week.

FEELING BOXED IN

It used to be that we complained about drowning in a sea of paper, but these days we’re more likely to be griping about being buried in our in-box. I don’t know about you, but responding to emails takes up way too much of time, and I need to get smarter in how I handle the major influx of emails I receive every day.

So I was really interested to read the article Email is making you stupid in the latest issue of Entrepreneur in which writer Joe Robinson observed that constant email interruptions make you less productive and less creative.

Here’s some of the pointers he shared on how to tame the monster.

• Turn off all sound and visual alerts that announce new email
• Discipline yourself to check email less frequently – at minimum just once
every 45 minutes and at best, just two to four times a day
• Don’t hide behind email. There are occasions when the phone or face-to-face
meetings are more effective ways to communicate.
• Just because a message can be responded to immediately, doesn’t mean you have
to do that
• Restrict your use of the “reply all” button
• Be proactive – put no reply necessary in the subject line
• Don’t send emails just to say thanks
• Use the automatic out of office option when you are working to a deadline

As Robinson says, perhaps with these strategies we will be able to climb out of the inbox.

THE ART OF MARKETING

Are you creative? An artist?

I couldn’t draw to save myself but after listening to Seth Godin last week as he talked about creativity – I reached the conclusion that maybe I can be an artist after all.

Godin, marketing guru and author of the Purple Cow and Linchpin, argues that we need to become artists, to tap into our creative side, if our businesses are to stand out in today’s sea of commerce.

The old marketing tools no longer work. We need to do something different, be different and do it first. The old factory mindset that works within rules, always doing the same old, same old just doesn’t cut it anymore. But what does?

Godin believes that “the market for something to believe in has become infinite.” Marketing has become leadership and consumers want to buy and invest in brands that stand for something. What do you stand for?

When you live in fear, and don’t want to step outside your comfort zone, then you have a lizard mind declares Godin. “Anxiety, he says, is experiencing failure in advance.” He described several trends that caught on just because they were different – like selling odd socks as a pair (would suit those of us who have sock-eaters in residence) or the Candy Store on Highway 11 where no one would expect such a broad selection of candies and where customers spend on average $60 per visit!

What can you do that makes your product or service different? Godin’s closing advice was make art, give a gift and do work that matters. Sounds good to me.

The 60-40-20 rule

Do you find it hard to fit in time to focus on the big picture of your business? Elizabeth Lengyel, our guest speaker shared some practical tips on how to do just that – the 60-40-20 rule.

How does it work? For 60 minutes you focus on work that has to be done, with no interruptions – which means no answering the phone, returning calls or checking emails during this time slot. It is during the next 40 minutes, that you tackle those tasks and the last twenty minutes is reserved for having a cup of tea, making your lunch or taking a stretch.

We tried this in our office and it was amazing what we accomplished in our first 60 minutes. We joked that we needed some system to let everyone else know which stage in the 60-40-20 rule we were at, so they didn’t interrupt us.

Whether it is the 60-40-20 rule or setting aside time each week to focus on your business rather than in the business, it makes sense. We can all get too caught up in the minutea of running a business. Give it a try – you might be pleasantly surprised at what you get done!

Got to go … it’s time for my 20 minute slot!

I am Anne. I am Canadian.

Have you got caught up in the Olympic fever? I’ve never really been much of a winter sports follower, but having the Olympics here in Canada makes a big difference. I have to confess when I watched the official opening, I found myself tearing up. I am a Canadian by choice, as I am originally from the UK, but on Friday I felt I was all Canadian., and proud to be so.

It was moving to see all the young athletes who are striving to do their best and hopefully bring home the gold, silver or bronze medals. As the camera turns to the parents of some of the athletes you can feel their sense of pride too. As a family, no doubt they have made many sacrifices to get their young athlete to this level of competition. What joy it must be to see them succeed.

Talent isn’t enough to win at sports, there’s an element of luck and the mental attitude and focus to enable you to visualize yourself winning. In April we will be having a panel of athletes to talk about that winning attitude which you need in sports and in running a business.

NECESSARY EVIL

I work out twice a week. I know, it really should be three times a week, but to be honest, and excuse the pun, it is a bit of stretch for me as it is. You see while I know all the benefits and love how I feel afterwards, to me exercising is a bit of a necessary evil.

It’s a bit like doing your financials. You avoid sitting down and pulling all the numbers together, yet you know that in order to get a handle on how your business is doing, it has to be done, and done regularly.

Research has shown that those of our gender tend to avoid the number-crunching and that our lack of financial literacy can hold us back. When you haven’t got an accurate picture of where you are at financially, it is hard to make sound business decisions.

When I started my business I did a budget, which as someone who has run several charities, was well within my comfort zone. What I didn’t realize then was that I really needed to develop a cash flow statement, so I could track and predict when money was coming in, and just as important, going out.

We have just started our Me Inc program for would-be entrepreneurs and one of the topics we will be covering is cash flow. So often when we start up we overestimate how much money will come in and when (it always takes longer than we think) and underestimate how much our expenses will be. All of which leads to serious cash flow issues, a constant source of concern for the business owner.

So yes, both are necessary evils, but we need to do both in order to survive – physically and professionally.

GETTING OUT OF THE SALES PITCH BUNKER

Have you ever sat down and analyzed (or tracked) which sales/marketing strategies work for you?

At Diana Bishop’s Big Idea Adventure workshop this week, a group of us did just that. It was fascinating as we brainstormed sales activities vs. those that would fall more closely under marketing. What did we learn?

That the old-fashioned, in-your-face sales approach just doesn’t cut it anymore – at least not for us. What was working well we found was when offered some information, so people felt they were getting something out of the connection, and were not being pressured into buying something they may or may not want or need.

We also learned that too often we fall into the product-story trap instead of building the relationship first.

We spent three hours with Diana – time well spent because as the workshop progressed, I could see we were all starting to think differently and consider that big idea that would make us stand out from the crowd.

BUILDING COMMUNITY

Those who know me, know how much I am a stickler about finishing our meetings on time. I recognize, especially with our evening events, that we have all put in a long day, and are back into the fray the next morning, so I try to be respectful of people’s time and energy levels.

So it was really unusual to see so many people still gathered at the conference centre on Tuesday, long after the session had ended. True to form, I had ended the event on time, but no one wanted to leave. We had 90 women at that event, so you can imagine the noise level and energy in the room.

Our speaker, Donna Messer, had created such a buzz that people wanted to continue connecting with each other and if possible, grab a moment of Donna’s time too. It was 9.45 before the last person left.

What was the topic that generated this level of interest? How to network effectively. Donna, often known as the Queen of Networking, had worked the room introducing women to each other. She made a point of finding a common denominator and you could see the light bulb going on as women embraced the idea of connecting and helping each other.

Mission accomplished. That’s what Company of Women is all about.

LIVE YOUR LIFE - NOW

We have a couple of friends who have just been told they only have a few months to live. Sure gives you pause for thought. What would you do if you were given such news?

Would you carry on, assuming you are physically able, business as usual, or would you spend the time with family and close friends and get your affairs in order? Would you travel? Would you say “yes” to some experimental treatment that might buy you a few months, but make you sick? Or would you cocoon yourself, and cut yourself off from everyone?

Over the years I have sadly had other friends who faced a similar prognosis and each dealt with it in her own way. It’s hard to know, and as friends standing on the outside looking in, it’s hard to know what to do to help, to lessen the load and make this last journey more bearable for all involved.

What I do know is you have to take your cues from the person dying, and respect their wishes, which can be hard if he chooses to cut himself off from everyone. So while you maybe can’t help the individual, you can support the family.

I know when I was going through chemo, one of the best things someone did for me, was cook meals. In fact, the children so enjoyed her meals, they wondered if she did breakfasts!

I remember one friend who was estranged from her son. So he did not know she was dying and had only a few weeks left. I persuaded her to let him know, because there was unfinished business between them and I felt he needed the opportunity to say his goodbyes. He never came. I don’t regret getting her to reach out but I learned that we can never predict how other people will behave and we can only take responsibility for our own actions.

So what would you do? It’s hard to know until we get there, but why wait. Life is precious. Don’t take it for granted. If you have always wanted to travel – do it. Tell those you love how you feel about them. Don’t wait until you have a terminal prognosis to live your life. Do it now because none of us really know what tomorrow will bring.

Plan for Success

Since we got our farm, my husband has longed to have a really big Christmas tree. And I mean really, really big. We have a room that could take such a tree – in fact a small tree looks totally lost and out of place.

Well this year his dream came true. We found this brute of a tree, brought it home and then the fun began. Our first challenge was how to get it into the house. We ended up opening up a never-used door, moving heavy furniture out of the way, just so we could get it in.

Next we had to get it into the tree container and with just two of us, that was no simple task. Decorating the tree came next. Andy needed a two level ladder to put the angel on her perch at the top, and to add the lights and decorations. It was nerve-wracking holding on to the ladder as he delicately placed everything on the tree. Bottom line, it took us all day to decorate it.

Now anyone who came to the house during the holidays admired the tree, always commenting on its size and it was a thing of beauty. But it’s a bit like setting lofty business goals – be careful what you wish for, because sometimes when you get it, it’s not what you think, entails a lot more work than you thought and is over in a flash.

Will we do this next year? Probably not. It’s been a one-year wonder. We did it, have the photos to prove it but I suspect next year, we will be back to a more modest tree – but who knows, memory is a funny thing – we may, by then, have forgotten the work, and just remembered the joy.

As you set your goals for the year ahead – think long and hard about what you want – and what you will do if you are successful. Often we over look that part – the planning for success and it’s just as important because you don’t want to get there and find it’s not what you wanted after all or it was not worth the effort to get there.

New Year, New Goals

Happy New Year! 2010 - For the past few years, 2010 has been touted as the year by which there should be one million women entrepreneurs in Canada. Hard to believe we are here already.

That’s the good news. The bad news is we still are not as successful we could and should be. Why is that? In part I believe it is because our ideas of success are different to those of our male counterparts. So many of us start a business not with the goal of making lots of money, but more buying ourselves more control over our lives.

We also tend to be risk-adverse and not comfortable taking that monumental leap to the next level if it means putting what we have in jeopardy. As a gender we’re cautious, preferring to do our homework and not step over the edge. And yet, often that is what needs to happen to move ahead.

So what does 2010 have in store for you? Part of answering that question requires that you look back on 2009 and your learnings from that year. What worked and is worth repeating, and what failed and should be left in the past? Loaded questions, but taking the time to answer them should be illuminating if you are honest with yourself.

The new year is a time of reflection, a time to set goals – both business and personal – and a time to start afresh, grow, plan and move forward with confidence that you will succeed at whatever you set your sights on.

It’s 2010 and we are in good company. I wish you a successful, fulfilling year as you grow both professionally and personally.

True spirit of the season

Tis the season to be jolly …. Or is it? For so many people this is a hard time of the year. Perhaps they have lost a loved one, or the family is split because of a divorce, a fight or just distance and can’t be together. It can be very lonely.

With the current economy, it’s been a tough year for many financially and this is when you really feel it when you can’t afford to buy much for your kids.

So as we all rush around full of Christmas cheer … let’s pause for a moment and remember those who are hurting. Perhaps you can leave some food for the foodbank when you do your next round of shopping, or drop off an unwrapped gift to the Salvation Army.

Be true to the spirit of the season and reach out.

Winning Women

I always remember Linda Lundstrom saying that when she got the call to say she’d won the Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Award, she was sure they’d dialed the wrong number. Now a man, she jokingly added, would more likely ask what took them so long, but as women we doubt ourselves, even as we move forward to win prestigious awards.

Now that was several years ago, and clearly our view of ourselves has not changed because Cora Tsouflidou was just as quick to say that she often felt an imposter who would soon be found out.

It was so exciting to be at the Canadian Woman Entrepreneur Awards Gala this week, where two of our members – Cora Tsouflidou of Cora’s Breakfast and Lunch and the gals from Mabel’s Labels won the awards in their category.

How many organizations can boast two out of the five winners as members?? And a third winner who was a speaker at our 2009 conference. Now we’re not taking any credit for their success – they did that themselves, but it does to speak to the caliber of members at Company of Women.

As I listened to the acceptance speeches, there were some common themes: Several of the winners came from humble backgrounds but they recognized that this gave them the determination to succeed. All had a dream and the tenacity to turn that dream into a reality, refusing to take “no” as an answer. Often mothers were mentioned as role models and advocates which speaks to how we all have a responsibility to raise our daughters to believe they can achieve anything they want.

My congratulations once again to Cora, Julie, Julie, Tricia and Cynthia – we’re all so proud of you.

Do you have super staff?

We have a small but mighty team in our office. There’s three of us and while it is often hectic and demanding, especially when we’re doing nine events a month, I like to think we have fun.

So I was interested to read Brian Scudmore’s recent article in PROFIT magazine in which he identifies the seven traits of super staff.

The first was cultural fit – i.e. hiring people who share your core values. I know from previous workplaces, when you don’t share the same end goals, it’s hard to work together.

This leads nicely into the next trait a shared vision. You have to be using the same road map to be sure you all reach the right destination.

Scudmore in his third trait – fire within – believes that you can’t motivate someone to perform, they have to have it inside them. “Motivation, he says, comes from within and for it to be long lasting, there has to be a fire burning inside that drives someone beyond what any amount of money can.”

Setting goals is another trait. Look for people who on a routinely set clear goals and achieve them, he advises.

As the captain of your ship, you set the tone and atmosphere. A sunny outlook is key and Scudmore specifically “looks for people who are optimistic, positive and the see the potential in the company and its people.” We all know what it is like when you have someone negative in your midst – they can dampen enthusiasm quicker than anything.

Tenacity is the sixth trait and in our current economy, we’ve all needed a steady dose of this quality. You need people who will rise to the challenge.And last but not least, your staff need to have the ability to have fun.

In our office we have an ongoing joke about the way we can rapidly change conversation, making it hard sometimes to follow the train of thought. So following the lead from one of our speakers, Carole Bertuzzi Luciani, who poked fun at women’s conversations, we got a bell, which we ding whenever the topic has changed. May sound silly, but it creates a few laughs and helps us not to take ourselves too seriously.

Bottom line, none of us get to be successful on our own. We need a strong team behind us, no matter the size so it behooves us to take the time and hire people who fit the bill, who have these traits and can help you move your business to the next level.

I am lucky – I may have only two staff – but they have all these traits in spades.

IT’S OK TO SAY NO

I don’t know about you but the last few months have been pretty hectic and when I step back and look at my schedule I can see quite clearly that I have over-committed myself.

I receive a lot of requests and in my efforts to be helpful, I say yes to meetings when I really should say no.

I was talking to my coach about this dilemma and she challenged me on why I was saying yes, what was I getting out of it, she asked. Her next question gave me pause for thought – and what would happen if I said no.

When I look at the commitments I have made – sometimes it is tied up in my ego – being flattered at the request and other times, I believe in the cause and want to contribute. And I am from the old school where if you make a commitment, you stick to it. Well, as I discovered this week – maybe you don’t have to.

After much deliberation, I decided to take charge of my life and my time and I have gone back and got myself off the board; out of the meeting and booked in some time just for me.

It is actually quite freeing when you lighten your load and listen to your truth.
What about you? What can you do to be true to yourself?

TRADE SHOWS – AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

Years ago I used to help my daughter sell her products at trade shows. At that time she was into sewing baby clothes and in particular, she had a popular line of flannel PJs that she sold.

So I learned first hand that doing trade shows is a bit of an emotional roller coaster, especially if your product was something you had made – it was a part of you. Doing trade shows is also very labour intensive. It takes time to set up the booth and when sales are good and everyone loves your stuff, it all seems worthwhile.

But when you go and sell nothing, it is so discouraging and whether you should or not, you end up feeling somewhat rejected.

I share this because I know some of the vendors at our Christmas Show met with mixed results and it is hard not to take it all personally, especially when you have worked hard to make your product or hand-picked what you think will sell.

I found the “not-knowing-what-will-sell” was one of the hardest aspects as each show was different and you could never really predict what would be the hot number of the event. So much depends on the people who attend, whether they are looking for what you have to offer; have the budget to cover the cost and are genuinely there to shop.

I know we did a show just recently and it was evident from the way the people strolled around, deep in conversation with each other that the show was just an outing, not a serious shopping trip.

I truly admire those of you who do trade shows on a regular basis. Maybe it’s my age but I find all the lugging of stuff just physically exhausting, let alone the standing for long periods of time, and as for looking cheery and welcoming … well, sometimes it is a stretch. So pat yourself on the back – you are showing true courage because you are putting yourself out there and if you have the right product, in the long term, it will pay off.

Confessions

My name is Anne and I don’t have a Blackberry. There I said it out loud.

I’ve been avoiding getting one because I know myself and my addictive personality. As one of our team said, the great thing about a Blackberry is you are available 24/7, but on the other hand, the problem is the same – you are available 24/7 and never get away.

I have to say that this past week has caused me to re-evaluate my decision. First my keynote speaker who was sick had emailed me to say she was not coming – but how would I know, as I was at the hotel, with no access to email. She just assumed that I had a Blackberry. Most people do.

Then when my tire blew, and my cell phone was dead – I realized that with a Blackberry I could have at least texted or emailed someone for help. As it was, I was stuck on the side of the highway waiting until a tow truck spotted me (and the dogs).

So I don’t know… is this enough to convince me to purchase one? The jury is out.
I am certainly warming more to the idea and can see some of the advantages, but my fear is I will next be announcing – my name is Anne and I am a crackberry.

The universe provides

Several years ago a group of us went to hear Gloria Steinham talk. Imagine our disappointment when it was announced at the start of the event that she was sick and unable to make it. Instead, the organizers advised that they had brought in Tobin Anderson. At the time, we all shook our heads – none of us had ever heard of her.

Well, we had the privilege of hearing one of the most profound and moving presentations from a woman who was terminally ill with cancer but who refused to let life pass her by. She has since passed away, but I can honestly say that her talk was one of the best I have ever heard and I will always remember her words of wisdom. Instead of getting second-best, we had the best.

I share this story because you just never know how your week will unfold, and sometimes what seems like a disaster turns out to be best thing that could have happened.

I started my week talking to a group of professionals about starting a business and how you have to be flexible to survive whatever change comes your way.

By the end of the week, I was having to practice what I preached! It was every event planners biggest nightmare – I found out thirty minutes prior to the scheduled presentation that my keynote speaker was sick, and not coming!

But the universe provides. Among our participants we had a motivational speaker. Not only that, she had her presentation with her. And her lively, funny keynote was just what we needed after an action-packed day.

Pat Mussieux – thank you. You were my guardian angel, my Tobin Anderson, and a real trooper. Not only did Pat come to the rescue, she was one of the highlights of the day.

Heading in new directions

I am in love. It’s early days, but this new relationship is exciting; it’s broadened my horizons, giving me the courage to go further and venture outside of my comfort zones.

No, I am not cheating on my husband, nor am I fantasizing after someone else. I’m talking about Gina – my GPS system. Like many relationships, there are times when I want to rebel and disobey but on the whole, I listen and just do as I am told.

It often surprises people when I share that I am a somewhat nervous driver, and in the past, this has limited me in where I will go. But with the GPS, I have new-found confidence and am finding my way around and driving to places that once were off limits.

Having someone, Gina, tell me when to turn, what lane to get into, takes all the guesswork out of going somewhere new. This way I can concentrate on my driving – which is not a bad thing - and going somewhere new is no longer the nerve-wracking experience that it used to be.

It is a bit like having a business coach. Just as now I can concentrate on my driving and reaching my destination, a business coach helps you to focus on the business and achieving your goals. With “Gina” on my team, I can be confident that I will get there and with a coach by your side, you gain more confidence in your ability to succeed.

And it doesn’t mean you hand over control. There have been times when I have totally ignored the directions, because I know a faster route and like a broken record, Gina recalculates the route – but eventually she gets onto the same path as me. Likewise, if you don’t like the direction you are heading in, change it. Listen to your instinct, it will guide you well.

What a Week!

Do you ever check out your horoscope? I read mine regularly and if I like what it says, I think great. If I don’t, I declare it a load of rubbish! I really should have checked mine this week. To use astrology jargon, I am sure mercury must have been in retrograde.

Why? Because nothing worked out the way it was planned – mix ups in appointments, serious computer problems and to cap it all – I hit a skunk on the way to work on Tuesday.

Now for those of you who are not aware of the potency of eau d’skunk, let’s just say as people walked up our driveway, the not-so-pleasant aroma swamped them. But I have decided it is all my husband’s fault.

Several months ago I swerved on the road to avoid hitting a deer – I mean this could have been Bambi. At any rate, I got lecture 22 on how you should never swerve to avoid animals, it was dangerous. So… I saw the skunk, did not swerve but drove straight ahead. I have to say, I was hoping that the skunk was right in the middle and nowhere near my wheels. But no, I hit it. The good news is the world has one less skunk, but the bad news is my poor car.

While I was driving and the car was moving, I was lulled into thinking I’d got away with it. But when we stopped in traffic, the smell just permeated the car. To give you a sense of how bad it was, it took them two days to “bomb” and de-skunk my car.

So the moral of the story is read your horoscope - because maybe then I could have seen it coming!

IT IS THE HONOUR THAT COUNTS, NOT THE VOTES

My recent nomination and finalist ranking for the Women of Influence Award caught me by surprise.

Throughout my career I have been fortunate enough to receive several awards for my work. I remember receiving a flurry of awards shortly after my first cancer diagnosis, and I recall at the time joking that people wanted to celebrate my contributions before I “checked-out.”

Clearly that didn’t happen, and I am alive and well and still doing meaningful work to help women succeed.

But this award is different. When I first heard that I was a finalist, I was thrilled of course, but then I realized that I needed to ask people to vote for me. Not my comfort zone at all. First I’ve always had difficulty asking for help. Second, it felt presumptuous that people would even want to vote for me. So needless to say, I’ve found the whole process very uncomfortable.

And reality is there are some serious contenders in this “race” who truly are women of influence and who also have massive databases to draw on. So I have concluded that with this American Idol strategy, it’s not going to happen.

So I am letting this one go – I am voting myself off that island. You won’t be hearing any more from me as I don’t want to get further embroiled in this vote-seeking campaign.

At the end of the day, none of what we do in life is done to win awards. For me, it’s always been to make a difference - and that is honour enough.

TURNING TRAGEDY INTO TRIUMPH

Over the last two weeks I have heard two amazing women share their story of how they turned a personal tragedy in their lives into something meaningful that will benefit others.

First was Joey Adler, CEO of the clothing retailer diesel Canada. When her husband died, she vowed that everyone’s life should count, especially children and she founded the One x One Foundation, with celebrity patron Matt Damon. This charity is making great headway in its attack on child poverty around the world, and in four years has raised $6 million to make sure that children’s basic needs are met. To learn more about the foundation, go to www.onexone.org


The second was Jane Roos, who is the Executive Director of CAN Fund, a charity that raises funds to support Canadian athletes so they can train and compete at the Olympics and other world competitions.

In Jane’s case, she had just graduated from high school and had her career in athletics all mapped out, when she was involved in a serious car accident. Her girlfriend died and she endured injuries to her back, thus ending her dreams of being an Olympic athlete.

But she had kept this dream alive for others, and founded the Canadian Athletes Now Fund to provide our athletes with direct financial support so they can afford better nutrition, coaching, new equipment, travel to competitions, etc,… With every donation, you are given the name of the athlete you have supported and receive a tax receipt. You can donate online at www.CanadianAthletesNow.ca

The word crisis in Chinese means danger or opportunity. Clearly these women have chosen to make their crisis an opportunity for others. I applaud them.

Building a community

I have one of those books that gives you the thought for the day. So I looked up September 15 – the evening of our first event of the season – and it seemed so appropriate that it said “A feeling of warmth creates a kind of openness. You’ll find that all human beings are just like you.”

It seemed fitting on a number of levels. First, one thing I have discovered in running Company of Women is that it doesn’t really matter what business you are in, the issues remain the same. We have an opportunity therefore to learn from each other.

Second, I liked the idea of “a feeling of warmth” because that is the atmosphere I want to create – that we are a community of women coming together to support one another.

The third reason is that last week we launched the book Faces of Opportunity, which tells the stories of women in developing countries. I’ve always known and understood that it takes courage and tenacity to succeed, but I am in total awe at the determination, resilience and joy of these women as they strive to create a better and brighter world for their children. Yes, they are human beings just like us and as women entrepreneurs, we should applaud and honour them.

And lastly, I have always believed that being honest and open creates the best of relationships.

Two sentences. And it says it all. These words so accurately describe what I dream and want for Company of Women.

I have one of those books that gives you the thought for the day. So I looked up September 15 – the evening of our first event of the season – and it seemed so appropriate that it said “A feeling of warmth creates a kind of openness. You’ll find that all human beings are just like you.”

It seemed fitting on a number of levels. First, one thing I have discovered in running Company of Women is that it doesn’t really matter what business you are in, the issues remain the same. We have an opportunity therefore to learn from each other.

Second, I liked the idea of “a feeling of warmth” because that is the atmosphere I want to create – that we are a community of women coming together to support one another.

The third reason is that last week we launched the book Faces of Opportunity, which tells the story of women in developing countries. I’ve always known and understood that it takes courage and tenacity to succeed, but I am in total awe at the determination, resilience and joy of these women as they strive to create a better and brighter world for their children. Yes, they are human beings just like us and as women entrepreneurs, we should applaud and honour them.

And lastly, I have always believed that being honest and open creates the best of relationships.

Two sentences. And it says it all. These words so accurately describe what I dream and want for Company of Women.

CAUTION - CHECK IT ALL OUT

First it was the email from Nigeria announcing an inheritance; then you’d won the lottery – and hard to believe some people still fell for it – part of their get-rich-scheme I guess, but these days, scam artists are getting much more sophisticated.

Take last week. My address book on Facebook was hacked into and friends received an email implying that I was stranded in London and needed financial help to get home. Given I am from the UK, this was quite plausible, however the colourful language used gave them away, and friends knew it wasn’t from me.

In sharing this tale with someone else, I learned of an even more sophisticated attempt to empty your bank account. My colleague was invited to speak at a conference in the UK, the invite seemed genuine, the location existed and they forwarded a professional looking contract, etc… She had done her due diligence and checked some of this out, and it all seemed above board. Until she got an email asking for her bank account information – supposedly so they could pay her honorarium in advance. That’s when she stopped, contacted the church where the conference was to be held and discovered it was all a scam.

Wow! I think several of us might have fallen for this one and the “ask” if you will wasn’t immediate, so you could be lulled into thinking this was the real deal. All of which flags, that sadly we need to be cautious and never take what seems like an amazing offer at face value. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Date first

When I worked in the non-profit sector, I had a reputation for bringing people together to collaborate on a project. Agencies didn’t always do so willingly, sometimes there was resistence – mainly because of territorial issues, but bottom line, we were able to find a common ground that made it work. Usually it was because of the clients, and we would pool our resources to better the outcome for them.

I can’t say I have had the same level of success since starting my own business. People are suspicious – always wanting to know what’s in it for them, and questioning why you would want to partner. Were you going to get more out of it? And when I have partnered, it hasn’t always worked out the way I expected.

When I reflect back on my non-profit days, I realize that apart from wanting the best for our clients, the other common factor we shared was our values. We tended to be working in the non-profit sector because we wanted to make a difference. Earning lots of money was never a draw, which is just as well as the salaries were low.

So when I look at the partnerships that haven’t worked, I can see now that part of the reason why, is we didn’t share the same values. We hadn’t taken the time to really get to know one another – to share our values, to discuss our vision of the intended outcome or to agree on goals. If one of you wants to make thousands and the other is happy with a lot less, then problems are bound to arise.

Also when you’re an entrepreneur, one of the reasons you’ve chosen that path is because you want to be in control of your own destiny, so it is not surprising that there are control issues when there are two captains steering the ship, and even more so when there is no real agreement on the end destination!

I’ve written my share of articles on partnerships, and have often joked that I really should read and heed my own advice! Does that mean that I am off partnerships? No. I see real merit in collaboration, in working with like-minded individuals who share a common audience or goal. It actually makes business sense.

But I am more cautious and less likely to get carried away by the excitement of a new idea, a new project. Now I would recommend dating before leaping into a serious business partnership with someone. Work on a mutually beneficial project first, see how it goes and then build on the relationship.

Living life to the fullest

Last night I gave my first public talk about being a breast cancer survivor.

I was nervous about revealing such intimate information and a bit wobbly to start but once I got into my stride, I realized that I do have an important message to convey. In my presentation I described my membership in the cancer club in terms of features and benefits. As most of the women were in business, I figured they would get the correlation.

But what may have surprised them was the fact that there are benefits:-

1. You become more focused. You don’t sweat the small stuff and become more selective on what you do, where you spend your time and who you spend it with. Negative people be gone.

2. You follow your passion – for me it was starting Company of Women and launching our magazine Company last year. Making a difference in the lives of women is important to me. This is my legacy.

3. You learn how much people love you. With all the cards, letters and kind gestures, you feel enveloped in love and caring. It’s like hearing the eulogies but you haven’t actually gone.

4. You take charge of your health. Information is power and for me I adopted a more healthy lifestyle – one that included exercise and regular work outs.

As I said at the end of my speech, ““Each of us finds our own path to survival. No path is every walked the same way twice, but we need not walk alone.”

To me this speaks to life, not just life with cancer.

KNOW YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE

Michael Dell, founder of Dell Inc, recently shared a story from his early entrepreneurial days. He was sixteen and had landed a job at the local newspaper, selling subscriptions. He quickly realized that the people most likely to buy the newspaper were those who were looking for a home to buy or rent, so he set about getting data on people who had just got married; who were applying for a mortgage and contacted them.

Within a month he was the top salesperson, and made enough money on commission to buy himself a BMW. His high school teacher challenged him when he submitted his tax return as part of the math class. She was positive he was making it up – but no, this was his real income and he was making more than his teacher!

The moral of the story? Do your homework. Think of who would need and benefit from your product or service. Then look at how best to reach those individuals. When you understand your target group, know how they think and feel, then you can tailor your marketing strategies to convert them into customers.

Perfection Optional

Some people are born entrepreneurs. Right from an early age they have that entrepreneurial spirit. My daughter was 12 when she started her first business – Kids Klub, running a summer camp for local kids from our street. She learned a lot that summer and really it is not surprising that today she is onto her fourth business.

But not all young people are that enterprising. Take the young lad we hired this summer to try and tame our gardens. It has been interesting to watch him in action. First he was very timid. Not sure what were weeds and what was meant to be there, so he only removed the obvious sinners. Gradually he has become more confident but his approach is still be very much to focus on one area and make it perfect.

Perhaps because I want more instant gratification and I only have a certain amount of time to devote to the task, my strategy has been more wide-spread. I tend to attack and remove all tall offenders so that the overall garden looks OK, rather than having just one section that has been neatly groomed.

It’s just like owning your business, you quickly learn that you can’t just focus on one area and that striving for perfection isn’t necessarily the best survival tactic, as often there are several demands on our time. We don’t have that luxury. As entrepreneurs, we have to multi-task and be able to turn on a dime to deal with issues as they arise.

Our young gardener is an archaeology student, more used to being on a dig and studying his find, rather than making quick decisions about what goes, and what stays. No doubt he will do well in his chosen career.

HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW?

As the novice, albeit reluctant gardener, I often find myself comparing what is happening in my garden with running a business.

Take my lavender. Last year we planted some lavender and I loved it – it grew well, its beautiful aroma filled the summer nights and it had that wild, country look that fitted a farm garden. This year, it is dead, gone, not even one branch has come through. Yet my mint, no matter what I do, is tenacious – it survives, grows, and spreads itself throughout the garden.

In business, you can have a hot item that every one wants but come the end of the season – it’s no longer up there. It’s had its moment in the sun – so to speak – and it is time to give it a rest and find something else or repackage it.

Hopefully every business has its base product or service that continues to bring in the money on a regular basis – a bit like the mint. Although unlike the mint, you do want to control it or it could end up controlling you. But there is this maverick quality to mint in that it spreads and lands where you least expect it. A bit like promoting your business on the Internet, with its global audience, you never know where your “mint” could land and it could end up bringing you in business from far afield.

Talking of the unexpected, there’s also the beautiful flower that survives and blossoms in a bed of weeds, catching you by surprise. All of which goes to say that like the gardener, you have to stay flexible. You never know what will be the “flower” of the year, but you want to be ready so you can take home the prize, and cut your losses when the petals drop and the interest wanes.

Press One for Service

For weeks now I have been trying to get our dishwasher fixed. One of the “joys” of living in the country, is contrary to popular belief, you’re not alone. Invariably you are sharing your homestead with the critters around you. In our case – a family of mice, who have not only set up home at the bottom of our dishwasher, but chewed their way through the pipes. Needless to say, the dishwasher isn’t working, and hasn’t for some time now.

I discovered the culprits when the service man came – back in early June. He had to order a part and I was to phone in and book a service appointment. Sounds simple.
But no. Every time I phone and do the press 1 for English, press 1 again for service, I get advised that my call is important to them, but I am number 8 in the queue. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time to be on hold while I wait not so patiently to move up to #1. So I hang up, try again later – same thing.

Frustrated with this, and tired of washing dishes, I thought I would email them. Wrong. It bounced back. So then I thought I would send a fax. The number doesn’t work. Meantime, I am still without a functioning dishwasher and who knows another family could have set up house by the time the service guy gets back to put in the new part.

What ever happened to customer service? We have around eight products that are manufactured by Miele – heaven help if any of those go wrong. No, I want to press one and get service.

But I don’t have time to vent … got some dishes to wash.

PLANNING FOR SUCCESS

With hours to kill waiting for my plane at Manchester airport, I bought a few books, one of which was Common Sense Rules: What you really need to know about business by Deborah Meaden. Now Meaden is the UK’s version of Arlene Dickinson on their Dragon’s Den, and from reading her book, I would conclude she is one smart, tough cookie, who has earned a reputation for her straight-talking, no-nonsense approach.

She also raises some important points on making the pitch and getting investors onboard. Just as the title of her book conveys, much of it is common sense. Yet we seem to forget that in our passion to market our business idea.

She observes that entrepreneurs rarely give would-be investors enough information to persuade them to part with their hard-earned money. As she says “today, more than ever, an entrepreneur has to present some pretty compelling reasons for an investor to part with cash, which means presenting a rock-solid pitch as well as some convincing numbers.”

She encourages entrepreneurs to think carefully about how they contact potential investors and what they send by way of introduction. Do your homework and find out who actually makes the investment decisions at a company, she suggests.

Rarely do people get their business plans right, she shares. They either do not include enough information or they don’t include the right information, or it becomes a lengthy document sharing minutia that is of no interest to an investor.

Before ever approaching a potential investor, the business plan needs to be in place. It should be a simple, step-by-step document outlining timescales and milestones, what has to be done in the run up to the launch and what it is all going to cost. What investors, like Meaden, are looking for is something that “outlines in a punchy way what the business is all about, where it is going and what it needs to get there.”

As Meaden concludes, having a business plan is not just for raising money, it keeps you on track and makes you think through all the different aspects of running your business – competition, marketing, financial, etc…

Do you have one? Even if you have been in business for several years, it is not too late to start. You might be surprised at how the process makes you focus and gives you the tools and confidence to succeed.

(You can find business plan templates at www.bdc.ca)

DROWNING IN A SEA OF PAPER

Feeling mellow after a week away from the office - no phone, no email, no people… I am not quite ready to settle back down to work. Somehow I want to extend the break from the old routine. So I have decided to declutter my office.

Now this is a major task. We have bets on in the office as to just how long this will take me – but I have allowed a week. While we may be trying to save the trees – I think a forest landed in my office. Where did all this paper come from?

The challenge too is that it has to get worse, before it can get better – so right now you can barely see the floor as I spread out my stuff trying to make some order out of chaos.

Now is not the time to pop in for a visit, although I might be glad of the excuse to have a break. No – I have to keep ploughing on, set up some systems that I might stick to and get myself free.

And it is freeing to get rid of stuff. I remember last year we got a dumpster delivered and I filled it – full. Full of files and papers from committees and boards I’d sat on – but long since left; reports I had written and keeping just in case.

So I have come a long way, but I guess there’s always room for improvement. Must go – the recycling bin is calling.

It's a done deal

Putting on a conference is a bit like organizing a wedding. I should know – I did both last year! Both take a lot of planning and forethought to make sure all the right people are invited, meet each other and everyone has fun. But like a wedding, there is a feeling of anti-climax once it is over.

It’s the day after, and we’re surrounded by boxes – leftovers from the event. However, clearly the memory of the day is not over for you and it has been wonderful to hear the feedback from our “guests.” It would appear that everyone did have a good time; that they connected with the right people, and left a little bit more confident, knowledgeable and inspired than when they arrived.

In the interview with CH TV, I was asked why the conference was important. My answer – there’s strength to be gained from hearing each other’s stories – not just the speakers – but the women participating in the conference. We learn so much from each other.

Believe it or not, we’re already thinking about what we can do next year. Hope to see you at the 4th Journey to Success Conference.

RECLAIMING YOURSELF

This weekend I went on a retreat with six other women, four of whom I had never met before. So I left Friday feeling a little nervous about how the weekend would unfold, and with my British reserve, not wanting to give away too much of myself.

It turned out to be an amazing experience, as we opened up and shared our lives with one another. There was laughter, there were tears. Five of us owned our own businesses, so we understood the pressures we each faced, while another had gone through hell and back with the demise of a family business.

Even though we didn’t know each other, we were able to reach out and provide support, share words of wisdom and talk about our wishes for the future. But what really struck me was that as quick as we were to tell each other to stop putting ourselves last on the “to do” list, none of us were very good at taking our own advice.

We are all so busy in the fast lane of life, that we forget to slow down and take the scenic route. But this weekend, as we soaked in the beauty of the heron on the lake, the beautiful sunset and the camaraderie of like-minded women opening up to share their truths, we took time to stop, pause and regroup.

We’d put ourselves first for a change, and as someone said, we “walked into lives.”

BE BOLD, BE BRILLIANT

In a recent editorial in the magazine Entrepreneur, Editor-in-Chief Amy Cooper, observed that in today’s economy, brilliance is the new bail out.

She is constantly asked about what is different about starting a business in this economy vs. a non-recession year? Her answer – nothing. As she rightly points out, it still takes a great idea, finances, a business plan, sweat equity and “a level of courage you can’t grasp until you’ve tried.”

However to succeed, she advises, you need to outdo yourself. Now is not time to be cautious, to hunker in and do the “same old, same old.” Now, she suggests is the time to be truly entrepreneurial, to take risks – OK, calculated risks – and as she says “to zig when everyone else is zagging.”

Food for thought.

Just ask

This week we had two exciting panels of women sharing their business success stories. As they all shared the ups and downs of their business ventures, it struck me that men probably wouldn’t do this.

I mean if they can’t ask for directions, what makes us think they would bare their business souls to an audience of peers. Not likely. Yet there is something to be gained when you share your truths. For one, the audience appreciate and value more what you have to say when you are being honest and upfront. You seem more real and people are more likely to remember you and want to support you in the future.

But it is a fine line. We need to be selective on who we share the facts about our business. After all, if things are not going well, telling the world isn’t likely to make it any better, in fact it may speed up the demise of your business.

These are scary times for many businesses. Everyone is working hard to keep the financial wolves from the door. As women, we are good at asking for help and seeking advice from experts is a good idea. Reaching out and getting their input can help you turnaround a worrisome situation. Often an outsider looking in, can offer an objective perspective and solution.

One success strategy shared by all our panel members was that when they needed help, they went out and got it. As business owners we can’t expect to be good at everything, know your strengths and recruit others to cover off those other areas that test your patience. You may even be able to trade and barter services so it doesn’t cost you to obtain the help you need to build and grow a successful business.

If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.”

Making the Pitch

“First you have to sell yourself, then your product,” advised Diane Buckner at the recent Coliseum competition at the Rotman School of Management. Buckner, who is host of Dragon’s Den and Fortune Hunters, knows a thing or two about making successful pitches and was the moderator for the event.

There were five finalists and each had five minutes to make their case. Like Dragon’s Den, there were three judges – successful entrepreneurs who knew all about making a business succeed.

It was interesting to watch each presentation, and even more interesting to see the outcome. The winner had a unique product, which if it is well-marketed and positioned right, could do really well. Although it didn’t appear that he’d done much math in working out the costs of this venture. But his concept captured the judges’ attention and everyone likes to be part of something new.

The runner up excelled at showing her passion and it was her ability to sell herself, that sold the panel on her business concept but again the important number-crunching wasn’t evident.

Yet, the person who got “honorable mention” was the one, in my opinion, who truly did the best presentation, she knew her figures, had clearly a solid business plan, but somehow didn’t sway the panel with her idea.

As for the other two finalists – all I can say, is don’t give up your day job!

In looking at the results, it becomes clear to me that none of us really knew or understood what the criteria was for selecting the winner. The audience got one vote, so it would have been helpful to know what the judges were looking for as then we could have all been on the same page.

One lesson to take away from this is just as Buckner said, if you can demonstrate your passion for your product, it will take you a long way. “

THERE'S STRENGTH IN SHARING

This week I was in Ottawa meeting with women from the Atlantic Provinces who run women’s business organizations in their cities. It was exciting to connect with them, explore how we can work together and to realize that really it doesn’t matter where you are in Canada, the issues are often the same.

What I really liked about the discussions was that we were all being honest, sharing in a genuine way and wanting to support each other. There wasn’t any sense of competition, just an attitude of abundance and mutual respect. What more can you ask for?

And in the months ahead we plan to continue the dialogue and share best practices, so that we can all offer the best possible service to women entrepreneurs in our province.

How often do you meet up with others in your sector? You might be surprised at what you can learn from each other when you drop the competition and are open to some real conversations.

Do you want to compete with the big guys?

On Monday I attended the Toronto launch of WEConnect Canada, a new organization to Canada, but WEConnect is well-established in the US, UK and India.

What is WEConnect? It is a non profit organization that provides the mechanism to certify women business owners so that they are eligible to compete for tenders issued by the large Fortune 500 companies. Many of the large corporations in the US, have diversity policies whereby they have to give a quota of contracts to women-owned businesses.

In Canada, WEConnect is working to establish a similar program and is actively recruiting companies such as IBM, BMO Financial Group, Accenture, Cisco and more. What does this mean to you?

Becoming certified opens doors for you and gives you the opportunity to compete with the big guys. One of the advantages of being a small business, is we're nimble, we're not bogged down in bureaucracy and rules which can be appealing to the large corporation that wants instant results.

One of the women whose company became certified through WEConnect just this month, has already received overtures from a large American corporation. This is exciting stuff and I encourage you to look closely at how you can get involved.

Check the website at http://www.WEConnectCanada.org