All in a Day’s Work

Well it’s official. I am a farmer’s wife. I just gained my badge.

Let me explain. This year we have taken on six cows, and like their predecessors, they have tended to keep a low profile, and we only eyeball them when they come up to the trough for water, which given this heat, has been more often than usual.

So as I was driving down our driveway, heading for the office, out of the corner of my eye I spotted one of our cows – in an open field, far from where she should have been. She was guzzling with glee at the new fodder in this field, unperturbed that she now had an audience – a rather well-dressed one at that!

We have a farmer who helps with the cattle, so I went over to give him a shout. Fortunately he was up (it was early) and over we went to round up our delinquent cow.

After quick debate, we decided the best way was for the two of us to get her to voluntarily take herself back to the field.

Hugh chased after her and as a result, she headed in my direction. Now I don’t know about you, but I am not well-versed in what to do when a cow is coming straight for you, or for that matter, on how best to get it to go anywhere.

So I stood firm, waved my arms and shouted Whoa. I know – it’s a cow, not a horse, but hey – it worked and after a couple of shouts of whoa – she jumped, yes jumped, over the fence to join her buddies.

Lesson learned – there may be some merit to the rumour about the cow jumping over the moon – because they can sure jump.

Thumbs Up

I have a confession to make – I am container-challenged.

It’s a recent phenomenon, but I know it's not going to get better, only worse.

And it is not selective – cans, bottle tops, lids, jars of jelly – you name it, I have trouble opening it.

Why? One of the joys of aging, I guess, is that I now have arthritis in my thumbs. Let me tell you – you don’t realize what you use and need your thumbs for, until it becomes hard to use them – the button on the electric tooth brush, the can opener, even flushing the toilet.

So for Mother’s Day this year my kids bought me every gadget known to man to help me open those elusive jars and cans. The dog is sure happy – his meals are looking up again.

And now those screw top wine b bottles are opened with a quick twist.

So cheers! I am giving these gadgets the quick thumbs up.

Check Your Motives Before You Write

In a recent blog, Seth Godin advocated keeping our writing simple. So often he points out, people take forever to get to the point, use long words and jargon and are frankly quite boring.

I’ve often found so much depends on the purpose of the writing. Is it to educate and inform the reader? Or is it more about you, and the opportunity to show off your knowledge?

Your reason for writing will impact the way you write. When you are genuinely trying to get a point across, or hopefully educate the reader, then there’s less jargon and the wording is simple. When it’s all about you, and this opportunity to showcase your “stuff,” people tend to trot out their most elaborate vocabularly, try to sound superior with their use of jargon and are often long-winded, reluctant to give up the “written” stage.

Years ago when I was working as a consultant I was asked to synthesize several lengthy research documents into ten pages that would convey the research findings in layman terms to a group of school trustees. I did it but not without some challenges from one person on the committee. She wanted some of her statistical data included but from my perspective it didn’t add to the knowledge of the readers, and in fact could have confused them as it introduced another tangent to an already complex topic.

Truth was she wanted it included because it highlighted her expertise, not because it would add to the learning. Our ego is a funny thing and it can sometimes get in the way of doing what’s right; of forgetting about the reader and putting ourselves first instead.

As an editor I often come up against the writer’s ego, and sometimes the writer can’t take the objective observations about their piece, forgetting that my goal is to make an article understood and valued by the reader.

Contrary to their belief, it is not all about them. It’s not personal. It’s about getting the point across succinctly and in an interesting way that will hold the readers’ attention.

So next time you have to write something, ask yourself why am I doing this? Your answer may shape what you produce and when it is more about the reader, and less about you, you’ll find the right words.

Stiffer Rules Around Spam

Are you ready for the new Canadian Anti-Spam Legislation (CASL) Bill C28 which will be enforced later this year? This law requires express consent for most commercial-related messages. It also requires that you inform consumers about how personal identifiable information such as an email address will be used.

And ignore the law at your peril, because the fines are steep, with a potential penalty of $1 million for individuals and $10 million per business per day. With C-28, the burden of proof is on the sender and marketers must clearly inform consumers about what exactly they are opting in to and you need to articulate your privacy policies.

Here are a few steps you can take now to get ready for when the law is enforced.

• Outsource your direct e-mail marketing efforts to a reputable e-mail sending service like Constant Contact
• Clean up your mailing lists.
• Get consent from people now.
• Avoid renting or buying lists.
• Adopt e-mail best practices based on permission-based marketing.
• Have an opt-out option on your e-mail marketing

A word of caution, picking up a business card from a display at an event, and then adding the person to your email list, does not constitute permission-based marketing. If the person handed you the card, maybe, but if they don’t remember you, never met you at the actual event, you run the risk of your email being considered spam and that could be a costly error on your part.

Fine Line - Lessons from News of the World

We were in the UK when the demise of the News of the World newspaper occurred. We even purchased the last issue which highlighted the stories they'd run in their long history as a newspaper. You know, much as I disapprove strongly of the hacking and the strategies they used to get a lead on a news breaking story, they actually had been responsible for exposing a fair number of crimes and scams over the years. It is too bad they crossed the line.

Because, it is a fine line between investigative journalism and intruding in people’s privacy, particularly at a low point in their lives when they’d tragically just lost someone dear to them. Now that is both criminal and inhumane.

It speaks to the overpowering ambition of some people/organizations where getting the story and the “supposed” kudos for being the first to reveal all, takes over from decent, human behaviour. I wonder if the journalists involved ever questioned themselves, or chose to ignore their gut feeling that what they were doing was wrong. To them, the means justified the end result.

In business we also face decisions about which path to take to realize our goals. My advice, listen to your gut. Don’t do something where someone will get hurt, because at the end of the day, the person most damaged will be yourself and your reputation, and that can be hard to repair.

Writing My Way To Success

On Tuesday as editor of the Puslinch Pioneer, I had the pleasure of presenting the Pioneer’s award to a young girl at the local school.

It took me back to when I was in high school and was editor of the school newsletter. Little did I know back then that I would end up with several careers where strong writing skills were a requirement.

First it was funding proposals to get funding for the charities that I worked for; and then it was writing a parenting column for the local newspaper. Later I became editor of a national parenting magazine.

During my stint at government, I wrote briefing notes for politicians and a successful $13 million cabinet submission to fund women’s programs. While in my consulting practice, I often wrote lengthy reports with recommendations on service delivery or I would be hired to take a long document and synthesize the main concepts and translate it into terms that the layperson would understand.

I list all this because it just shows that our skills are transferable and my writing skills took me from being a fundraiser to a funder; from being a columnist to being an editor and from being a consultant to being a marketer; and from being a publisher to writing a book. The bottom line is that my writing skills were my entry into a diverse world where those skills were not just required, but valued.

So often I look at young people and they seem paralyzed by fear about making the wrong career decision, when in reality, if they have an employable skill set, they can find work in many industries. It is honing those skills that will bring them a career that is interesting and worthwhile.

As parents we need to help our children discover their talents, because, while it may not always be that obvious, all of us come to this world with our own unique set of skills, attitudes and talents. It is uncovering their passions that will help them to find their way.

The Battle of the Bulging Inbox

It has been a month now since I cleaned up my act – email wise – and I am proud to say that I am still managing the flow of emails. In fact I have become quite competitive about it – with myself and others in the office, and have taken to bragging about how few emails remain in my inbox.

Guess I’ve become a bit like the former smoker – nothing worse – with little tolerance for others who have not seen the light and changed their ways. But you have to reach rock bottom (6,500 emails did it for me) to recognize that something has to change.

However, the real test will be when I get back from vacation. Two weeks away and I will have to navigate my way through hundreds of emails. Having shed the weight of all these emails, I am determined, like the weight-watcher, to stick with it, because it is freeing and I feel tons lighter with all those emails gone. Forever.

It's a numbers game

Last week’s Fifth Annual Journey 2 Success Conference seemed to be all about numbers in a way. First it was a sold-out event, with over 208 women participating which thrilled us, as the conference is expensive to put on and so every year we take the risk and just pray we will get the numbers.

Our first speaker, Dr. Elaine Dembe, spoke about the ten characteristics of resilient people, while Dianne Buckner, host of Dragons’ Den, shared her observations on the top ten traits of successful entrepreneurs and we ended the day discussing the eight tenets of leaders.

Sandwiched in between, we heard from a panel with Julia Hanna, a businesswoman who has owned four successful restaurants, all of which are still running in an industry where 90 percent close in the first year.

Nadja Piatka, on the other hand, built her food manufacturing business, as she says herself on adversity, with only $500; baking muffins in her kitchen. Today she has a multi-million business selling her products to McDonald's and Subway.

Our third panelist, Lesley Andrew had also beat the odds, turning her learning challenges into a successful creative career, and when she sang It’s a Wonderful World in her beautiful soprano voice, there was hardly a dry eye in the room.

Back in school many of us may have struggled with math. Today likely many people have the same quandary with social media. What’s Twitter? How do I link-in? Isn’t Facebook just for young people? With only thirty minutes, Lisa Kember was able to give us a quick overview with some great tips, but it still raised more questions than answers for newbies in the crowd.

So when I announced that we were launching Techie Tuesdays in the fall, when the women can learn hands-on, there was a lot of interest in the crowd. Just like math, it’s important we grasp social media because it is the way of the future. And talking of numbers, the good news is that the price is right – most of it is free.

No matter what your business is – it truly is a numbers game. Number of customers, how much money you have invested in your business, your cash flow, and in our case, numbers of bums in seats. It is all a risk, but when you know your numbers, when you pay attention to them, you stand a better chance of succeeding.

The date for our next conference has some interesting numbers too – June 12, 2012 - a date to remember. Hope you will join us.

Please Be Seated

There’s been a real buzz this week about our conference and with the flurry of last minute registrations, it’s clear that women really want to be there. And they are coming from all over the province from Sault Ste Marie, Haliburton, Peterborough to Ottawa.

This is our fifth conference and I have to say everything has just fallen into place. We know what we are doing, have a system in place and it has, touch wood, gone like clockwork. Of course, you can never tell what can happen the day of the event but by that stage it is more a case of going with the flow and making it work.

As I sat with the seating plan, trying to make sure that with each change in seating (there are three), no one was sitting with someone they had already met, I felt like the wedding planner. I am not sure people realize how much planning and consideration goes into making events like weddings and conferences work so everyone gets the most out of the experience.

I used to do the seating plan for the annual ATHENA Gala, and would spend hours trying to make sure I’d grouped people appropriately. Now that was often for 400 people and I have to confess towards the end, I would start to question why I was making such an effort. Then I would hear back from people that their table was special, and it seemed all worthwhile.

Same with the conference. I started off trying to assign people to groups where I thought there might be some synergy, but the closer we got to midnight, the more I began to rationalize to myself that someone was in that group because they were meant to be, nothing to do with my engineering the connections. After all, it’s up to every participant to make the most of the experience.

So three more sleeps and it will be all over for another year. I always find myself on a downer the day afterwards. It is such an anticlimax – months of work and preparation and it is over in a flash. But hopefully the knowledge, learning and connections the women gain through the conference will carry on for months to come.

Stretching the Truth

There are some business lessons to be learned from the two recent cases of people who stretched the truth on their use of the HOV lane.

First there was the pregnant woman who claimed that there were two passengers – herself and her baby. She was certainly sort of telling the truth, but it was a very generous interpretation of the rule. The second case was much more devious and the man was charged. What did he do? He had a blown-up, dressed doll in the car. To me this was a blatant attempt to beat the system. He just wanted to reach his destination faster.

But it didn’t really pan out the way he expected I am sure. When we try to take short cuts, stretch the truth or exaggerate about what we have achieved or can do, we run the risk of getting caught out and bringing discredit to our reputation. Honesty is the best policy.

In business, I’ve met people who oversell what their product can do, or what benefit they can bring to an organization. Plus you never know who knows who. I never forget reading a resume in which the person claimed to be the lead in a certain project. She wasn’t to know that I would be reading her resume but as the person who HAD been in charge of the project, I could quickly attest that this wasn’t true, which caused us all to question what else was false or a stretch of the truth.

The English language is a persuasive tool that can be used to mislead others. We hear what we want to hear, rather than the actual truth. Over the years I have been nominated numerous times for the Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year award. When you say it quickly, it might sound as if I actually won it, but I never have. It is those sorts of interpretations which yes, can work in your favour but you have to be careful.

When you exaggerate about what you do, or give off a false air of self-confidence, it can come back to bite you. I’ve noticed that I will chatter on about my accomplishments when I am feeling insecure or feel the need to prove myself, but afterwards I regret it. I now really try to catch myself before I get caught up in that cycle of insecurity.

Having said that I am a big component of faking it until you make it – but it has to be done with honesty, not by totally misleading the other person.

Yup, honesty is the best policy. Be who you are, warts and all. People will respect you for your authenticity. Taking short cuts doesn’t always mean that you reach your destination faster. Sometimes it can derail your plans.

BLITZING MY INBOX

How many email are lingering in your inbox? That many? If I had to answer that question at the beginning of the week, my answer would have been 6,500. Yes – six-thousand-five-hundred. Now ask how many I have? Ten – one-zero.

It took me all day. I closed my office door and hunkered down to sort through them all. Many were deleted, others transferred to the appropriate folder and some were replied to, with great apologies for the delay.

Every year around this time, I declare war on my inbox, but I can honestly say this is the first time I have systematically worked my way through them all. One year I started off, grew impatient and just deleted them all. Error. A step I later regretted when I was looking for a crucial email.

So this time I am literally starting with a clean slate. How long do you give me to keep this up? My challenge is I get hundreds of emails a day, so it is hard to keep on top of it all. But I am competitive with myself so maybe this time it will work.

And if you haven’t heard back from me – don’t worry – you are on the list!

WE CAN DO IT - WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS

Bringing a group of powerful, strong women together is always exciting. The fact that they all owned their business, were successful and leaders in their own right, made the meeting even more dynamic and you could feel the energy in the room.

On Thursday, the National Task Force on Women’s Business Growth held its fourth roundtable – this time in Toronto. Three roundtables had already taken place across Canada, and I suspect the conversations were similar.

While more and more women are starting their businesses, the growth of their ventures is slower to their male counterparts. Why is that? And more to the point, what can we do to change this situation? These were the topics under discussion at the roundtable.

We had sixty-four women in attendance, representing all types of businesses. Following a report on the latest research, a panel presentation from three successful entrepreneurs, the women were divided into groups to look at supplier diversity and procurement; access to capital; adoption of technology and training needs.

As the facilitators from each group reported back, you could see some common threads. First women needed to be more confident in their abilities to succeed and to actively seek out opportunities to grow their businesses, and it was identified that role models and mentors were needed who could show the way.

Another frequent observation was a lack of financial literacy which hindered growth. As a result, accessing capital became a scary prospect and one that women often chose not to pursue.

We actually had three groups of women from the IT sector which was gratifying to see as so often they are striving to get ahead in a male-dominated industry and they came up with all sorts of innovative strategies to keep us connected and supporting one another.

Different mechanisms and delivery options were considered in terms of training so as to fit into the busy schedule of women business owners and it was recognized that women business owners often seemed reluctant to invest in themselves.

And talking of time, we ran out of it. We’d been together for four hours and the meeting ended on the cusp of exploring solutions that could help and support women business owners. But this was just the beginning, and having the women all in one room to start the dialogue gave credibility to the need for change and the desire for it to happen.

Stay tuned.

STAY STATIC AT YOUR PERIL

I’ve just been watching a show about a bakery that needs to change - its products to meet the needs of their clients and the layout of the store so it becomes contemporary and attracts younger shoppers.

The owner is really set in her ways and despite the expert’s advice and a tour of successful bakery, is digging her heels in because she doesn’t want to change what she is doing. Actually she is not listening – to her customers or to the expert they’ve called in to save her bakery.

No one says change is easy but if we stay complacent or set in our ways, then the outcome is not likely to be positive. As Einstein says “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

After doing a trial run with different breads, the owner has to acknowledge that there was lots of interest in the new, healthier types of bread. However, while she has agreed that the speciality breads might work, she is taking short cuts and using bread mixes instead of making the breads from scratch. From the expert’s point of view, she’s totally missed the point and her controlling, passive aggressive behaviour is dooming the move forward.

Her rationale for her resistance is that she has been running her business for over 36 years and done well, thank you very much. I was in awe at the expert’s tenacity in trying to get her to change her mind but in the end, the business owner turned down all the ideas and suggestions.

So how set in your ways are you? Are you open to change? What does it take to get you to change direction? A decline in revenue or customers; constant feedback emphasizing something you don’t want to hear? Well, ignore at your peril. Even the most successful business cannot rest on its laurels, part of staying successful is staying current and innovative.

Plus, don’t you get bored with the same old, same old? I do.

MORE PRODUCTIVE EMAILS

How many emails do you get a week? I don’t know about you, but if I am out of the office for just a day, I am faced with hundreds of emails from people, all expecting an instant reply from me.

At a recent conference, I had the opportunity to hear Elaine Stirling, author of The Corporate Storyteller: A writing manual and style guide for the brave new business leader who shared tips on more efficient use of emails. Too often she says, we waste people’s time by not being specific about what we want and by when, which results in several emails going to and fro until this information is nailed down. How true.

She also encourages people to set the stage for their email message, with a quick courteous sentence that allows you to check in with the person or helps them clarify who you are and where you met.

Being visual, I truly got her statement about white space and how a long, dense email is intimidating before you even read it and in fact may result on you not responding straight away. Introducing paragraphs or better still headings, makes it much easier for the reader to grasp what you want.

She suggests that the closing sentence should revert back to the personal and be friendly, helping to build the relationship between yourself and the recipient.

So often I write what I want and then it seems too stark and to-the-point, and so I go back and inject the email with more of a personal tone at the beginning and at the end. And it would seem I am on the right track.

Elaine recommends that when we send an email we take three steps :

1. Why I am writing this
2. What you need to know to take action or make a decision
3. What I need from you and when.


When we outline what we need, why we need it and by what time, there is no confusion and best of all, we save time – for everyone.

ENTERING THE DEN

Some call him a Shark, others a Dragon. But meeting Robert Herjavec of Dragons’ Den fame was less scary than you would think. He’s actually a likeable, down-to-earth, shrewd businessman who has worked hard to achieve his success.

Along with several other “media,” I had the opportunity to sit in on a media conference before he spoke at the Toronto Entrepreneur launch this weekend. What first struck me however was the length of his hair - it was longer than I thought. Overlapping on his collar, it gave him a younger look and he is a lot slimmer than he appears on television, but they say that the TV adds ten pounds.

He talked about the role Dragons Den has played in making entrepreneurship sexy. It is now considered cool to own your own business and at a recent talk at Wilfrid Laurier, he was encouraging the students to “become great at something you do and the money will follow.”

Being on the show he has seen many budding entrepreneurs and he encourages anyone thinking of pitching to the Dragons to do their homework, do the math. “When we ask you what you want the money for – don’t say marketing, “ he advises. “You are wanting us to invest in your business, be prepared for real world questions because if you can’t answer them, then you are in trouble.” he adds.

His parents who came to Canada with nothing and who could not speak English, are his inspiration. Because of the sacrifices they made for him, he was determined to be successful. In the early nineties, he was waiting on tables at a local restaurant and launching BRAK systems in his basement in between shifts.

Ironically, while the Dragons often seek a share of the business in return for their investment, Herjavec himself prefers to keep all the equity to himself. He wants to own his businesses 100 percent.

Herjavec sold his first business to AT & T for $100 million. At the time he was offered stock or cash. Unsure which way to go, he asked his accountant and other advisors, who recommended he take the stock. But that wasn’t sitting right with him, so he asked the one person he knew who would give him an honest answer – his father – who said take the cash. He took the cash but a few months later the stock value was on the rise and he started to question his decision, however not much later, the company folded. Had he taken the stock, he would have been left with nothing.

After a three-year hiatus, he started up the The Herjavec Group and he admitted that it hasn’t grown as quickly as he thought. “In some ways when you don’t have much money to invest, you stay laser-focused and less willing to take risks. Whereas this time I’ve thrown money at different things, and they haven’t all worked out. “

It was interesting to learn that no one within the company has a title on their business cards. From Herjavec’s perspective, all his staff have the same job – to keep the customer happy.

When asked about giving back, Herjavec started by explaining that culturally in Eastern Europe, you don’t give back. Having said that, he went onto say while he can’t help everyone, he’s chosen causes that have personal meaning to him. And family always comes first.

As Herjavec points out, we all have the same 24 hours in a day, it’s what we do with that time that counts. We have no one to blame but ourselves if we don’t use our time wisely.

Clearly Herjavec has made every second count.

Realistic Expectations

I am always advocating that we need to touch base with our customers, to find out what is happening with them and what we can do to improve our services.

And I do walk the talk. This week we sent out our annual survey to women who are part of the Company of Women community and slowly they are trickling back.

As I read through the feedback, it’s gratifying to learn that we are doing OK, but I find myself gravitating to the few negative ones. Why do we do that? The majority are super- positive, and people have some great ideas and suggestions that we will consider implementing, yet I still get drawn into the negativity of some people.

I find myself getting defensive – wanting to reply and explain how much different aspects of our programs cost and that we’re a small team. Or counter with my feedback on what we have done in the past.

It boils down to expectations. While we are there to support and connect you as much as we can, we can’t make your business a success, only you can do that.

I guess my lesson from all this is that when we ask for people’s opinions, that’s what we get and you have to be prepared to take the good, with the bad, and at least this time there was no ugly.

bizwomen: Day by Day

bizwomen: Day by Day: "Well it is official. I have a book. I picked up copies from the publishers last week and already this week we’ve sold quite a few copies. ..."

Day by Day

Well it is official. I have a book. I picked up copies from the publishers last week and already this week we’ve sold quite a few copies. It does feel strange to think that likely over the long weekend people will be reading about the ins and outs of my life.

I guess I knew that when I wrote it – but it is different now that moment is here. Will I hear back from them? Will they look me straight in the eye again or avoid me? Oh the pangs of self-doubt start to roll in. Why do we do that to ourselves? It also makes me feel vulnerable – not a role I like to play.

The funny thing is that no sooner had the book arrived than other writers approached me about the whole publishing process. Like I am the expert. I mean I am just a few weeks ahead of them, that’s all. But I did meet with some women this week and it strikes me that there is merit in us all getting together to share ideas, resources and support.

Writing a book and getting it published is just the first step. If you don’t do any marketing, it will just gather dust on your bookshelf or sit in your garage waiting for a good home.

Like any product you have to sell, you have to consider who is your target market and focus your energies on reaching them. That’s where I am lucky in a way. My book is aimed at women and is about running a small business while trying to have a life, which means that it will appeal, hopefully, to women in Company of Women and other small business owners.

A fellow author – oh that sounds so sweet – suggested that I post an entry on www.page99test.com How this works is you type in page 99 of your book, and people give you feedback on whether they would buy it or not. Now she did warn me that it could be brutal and you certainly have to leave your ego at the door and don a suit of armour.

Only three people have reviewed the page, and so far one might buy it. One reviewer was a guy, so he just didn’t get it and with the other negative comment, I wanted to email her back to explain. I guess it makes you a bit defensive. But again, it does emphasize the need to be targeted in who want to reach.

So often when you write a book, you put so much of yourself into it, and when the book is actually your story – then even more so. For those of you reading Day by Day. Tales of business, life and everything in between I hope you get something out of the book. Even my kids learned something new about their mother ☺

BEING MUGGED EMOTIONALLY

A few weeks ago one of our team was publicly put down in front of a whole group of people by someone participating in a program. She came back to the office shaking and near tears. When said individual then followed up with an equally attacking email, it was hard to not just retaliate and bring ourselves down to her level. However, we took the high road, even though we were gritting our teeth.

So I read with great interest a recent article by Martha Beck in which she talks about people trying to rob us of our good mood. She called it emotional mugging and explained that there are six types of muggers – from the puppy kickers who take out their frustrations on someone else or the exploding doormats who will take so much, and then explode at the slightest provocation, and who harbour festering hostility towards their targets, to other more serious offenders who long term can damage your core belief in yourself.

The deflaters, and you may even have these in your family, are the ones who burst your bubble and sees virtue in pessimism. They can “take the air out of any good time and make a bad time feel even worse.” shares Beck.

The most insidious is the secret keepers, because you can start to question your own sanity. You know something’s not right but when you talk about it, the secret keeper pounces back, anxious to stop you from learning the truth. The cannibals are the ones who can bring you down in a split second with their tales of doom and gloom. Beck recommends not feeding into this person’s misery but instead reinforce with them that they have the resources to resolve their issues.

The last are the dementors, who take pleasure in publicly humiliating another person. They, Beck points out, are “endlessly unhappy, addicted to the sense of control they get from violating others.” The dementors are the most vicious of the muggers and her best advice was to avoid them completely or if that is not an option, to keep your emotional distance.

To protect yourself from emotional mugging, Beck compares her advice to learning self-defense, except instead of learning karate-do to protect yourself physically, she advocates practicing emo-do – the way of the emotional master.

As for our troubled lady, she most definitely fit into the dementors category and we intend to follow Beck’s advice and keep our distance.

LAST SEEN HEADING FOR…

I have a thing about being on time. Punctuality is important to me and as many of my members will attest, I work hard to finish my events on time. I feel it is a sign of respect to do so.

That being said, twice this week I have been late – for an event and a meeting. Why? Because I got lost. Not only lost, but my GPS had me going around in circles.

By the time I was forty minutes late picking up my volunteer Melanie, I was almost beside myself. I knew I was going to be late for our event and I had the name tags, registration material etc… And sure enough, when we arrived people were waiting for us, several concerned because I am never late. Well after this week, nearly never.

A few days later, I decided to try a different route home from Kitchener. Big mistake. Again following my trusty (or not so trusty) GPS, I started to notice familiar sites – I literally was back where I started from, and suddenly where I thought I had plenty of time to get to my meeting, I was behind and stuck in traffic. Fortunately the people I was meeting with were flexible and we were able to get together, albeit half an hour later.

No one likes to get lost. It makes you feel vulnerable. With places to go and people to see, my frustration level was at an all time high. But it made me realize how it must feel when you are lost in life, when you don’t know what to do next, and are drifting with no sense of direction or inner voice telling you what to do. It’s not a comfortable place to be, and yet all of us have been there at some time in our lives.

As business owners, it can often be when we have some tough decisions to make and we aren’t sure how or whether to make them – whether it be to take that big step and hire staff or undertake a major expense or at the other end of the spectrum, to face the unwelcome reality that your business isn’t working or is not financially viable and it’s time to close the doors.

In his book The Dip, Seth Godin talks about how often we give up when success is just around the corner. Certainly I set myself a time limit and had determined that if I hadn’t found Melanie’s farmhouse by a certain time, I was going to have to give up and sure enough, seconds before that deadline, I found it.

With my second tardy experience, it bothered me more than the people I was visiting, so really I could have cut myself some slack. Maybe we expect too much of ourselves.

Whether you are lost physically or mentally, one thing I know for sure, asking for directions can help you recognize and reach your destination. Talking it out with a friend or family member can bring a different perspective, one that brings objectivity to your situation and help you see a clear path and sense of direction.

LESSONS ON LEADERSHIP AND BUSINESS

Like many I have admired and been in awe of Mandela’s courage after spending 27 years in prison, and so I was interested to read the book Mandela’s Way Fifteen Lessons on Life, Love and Courage by Richard Stengel.

Mandela was 44 when he was first imprisoned and before that time, he would describe himself as an emotional, passionate and sensitive man but when he came out at age 71, he was described as balanced, measured and controlled. “I came out mature” he says.

In this book, the author describes Mandela’s lessons, which as business owners and leaders we can all learn from and grow – both professionally and personally.

1. Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s learning to overcome it.
He would pretend to be brave but inside wasn’t feeling that way, he was just putting on a front.

2. Be measured. Control is the measure of a leader. Calm is what people are looking for in tense situations. As a young man, he was a hot head, easily roused to anger but he emerged from prison as someone almost impossible to rile. He liked to make decisions after considering all the options – think, analyze and act.

3. Lead from the front. Leaders must not only lead, but must be seen to lead. This meant doing things not necessarily to attract attention, but to be doing the same as others, in his case, with the other prisoners. When you lead from the front, you can’t let your colleagues get too far behind.

4. Lead from the back. As much as Mandela liked the limelight, he knew he had to share it. The author compared it to herding cattle, you get behind them and prod with a stick. This style of leadership means listening and getting consensus. Mandela preferred to reach results in a harmonious way, believing that what’s good for you, is good for others.

5. Look the part. Appearances matter. If you want to play the part, you have to wear the right clothes. At any political or social event, Mandela was always the first to stand up and clap; he would greet people, not be greeted by them and was always the host, never the guest.

Mandela’s smile is unique. It spells confidence. When he was released the one message he wanted to convey was that he was a man without bitterness.

6. Have a core principle. Everything else is tactics. Mandela’s core principle is equal rights for all, everything else is a tactic. He is a pragmatist and sets about getting things done.

7. See the good in others. He believes in starting with the assumption that you are dealing with people in good faith. Mandela felt that seeing the good in others might actually make them better. His premise was that if you expect more of people, they often contributed more.

8. Know your enemy. In his youth, Mandela was an amateur boxer and his coach taught him to be nimble and strong, but that he also had to know his opponent. So he learnt Afrikaans as he thought if he could speak his opponents’ language, he could to straight to their hearts.

To him, it was the art of persuasion – you don’t address their brains, you address their hearts. So in business, if you want to make the sale, you address the heart. He would do his homework and prepare for meetings with opponents. And when he won, he never gloated. He wanted to let them save face because then you could turn your enemy into a friend.

9. Keep your rivals close. Mandela never stopped tracking his opponents. In fact he believed that you needed to keep close tabs on your friendly rivals. He wanted to be close enough to see trouble coming.

10. Know when to say no. Mandela was decisive in his decisions, not given to saying “maybe” when he knew it would be “no” in the long run. His advice was that if you are delaying a decision because you are avoiding saying “no” as it is unpleasant, you are better to do it right away, and avoid a heap of trouble down the road.

11. It’s a long game. After 27 years in prison, you learn how to play a long game. He learned how to postpone gratification, whereas our culture rewards speed and impatience is regarded as a virtue.

He advises not to let the illusion of urgency force you to make decisions before you are ready. He prefers to marinate ideas and keep the total picture in mind.

12. Love makes the difference. He always was a romantic, dreaming of love and family. It was a lonely life for him - as a prisoner and when he first came out of prison, as being a celebrity trapped him. Who could he trust? But he remarried at 80 and has found love in his life again.

13. Quitting is leadership too. His greatest act of leadership was renunciation of it. He felt his job was to set the course, not steer the ship and at 80 he retired. He knows that it doesn’t pay to fight over every issue, and sometimes it’s best to call it quits.

14. It’s always both. There are no simple answers to most difficult questions. All explanations may be true but every problem has many causes, not just one. Shades of grey, he observed, are not easy to articulate. Black and white is seductive because it is simple and absolute. We often gravitate to yes or no, when both may be closer to the truth. We need to put ourselves in the shoes of the person with whom we disagree.

15. Find your own garden. When he was in prison, Mandela got permission to grow a vegetable garden. It became is oasis and helped quieten his mind. He believes that each of us needs something from the world that gives us pleasure and satisfaction.

I thoroughly recommend this book. It is a quick and easy read, with lots of meat to it and ideas to ponder on.

An attitude of gratitude

With having a social media intern, I have become much more aware of its impact and have been measuring just how well we are doing in this arena.

So I decided to check the stats on my blog. More people are reading it – thank you. There have been times when I’ve wondered if my blog through which I live out loud about what is happening in my life, is all in a cyber-space vacuum that no one sees.

But what I did find interesting was that my most popular blog was the one I wrote about having a bad day which could indicate several things.

1. People love it when someone else is having a bad time
2. It is much easier for us to focus on the negative rather than the positive
3. My readers could relate to what I was saying
4. All of the above

As someone who is the eternal optimist and one who prefers to focus on the positive, I’d like to think it was number 3. We all have bad days, bad weeks, bad years actually, and perhaps writing about it is cathartic. Having a good vent, helps alleviate some of the frustrations and tensions. And being authentic, it is good to show that all is not always well in the Day/Company of Women camp.

I had to re-read that particular blog to remind myself of why it was so bad. And you know what, in the scheme of things, particularly in light of what is happening in the world, having to cancel a meeting and struggling with computer issues is really not up there in the list of disasters.

All of which leads me to say, that we need to gain perspective, roll with the punches and not take ourselves so seriously.

Let’s face it, we all have bad days, but there is always tomorrow, which for thousands of people in Japan, is not the case. Let’s be grateful for what we have.

Getting over the imposter syndrome

This week I did my interview on the Extraordinary Women TV Show with Shannon Skinner and I am sure you have all been waiting with bated breath to learn what I decided was my proudest moment in my career ☺

Actually it wasn’t easy but after exploring the options with Megan, she helped me clarify for myself what it was – winning the Entrepreneur of the Year Award. I selected this one because I never, ever expected to win, did not have an acceptance speech ready and I valued the recognition from people that I admire and respect. I felt validated.

Like many other women, there are times when I have felt an imposter; that people will catch me and my secret will be out – that I am not really the successful business woman I appear to be.

It is that self-doubt that can hold us back, especially if we become paralyzed in fear.
There is nothing wrong with “faking it until you make it.” And for many of us, that is exactly what we have to do, especially when we are working in a male-dominated arena.

I always remember fashion icon Linda Lundstrom sharing that when she got the call to advise her that she’d won the Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Award, she thought they’d got the wrong number. A man, she observed, would more be asking why it took them so long to recognize his talents?

Getting back to the interview. It went well, I think. See what I mean. Certainly after a few minutes, I totally forgot about the cameras which may or may not be good thing – time will tell. I haven’t seen the show yet but we will put it up on the site once we do.

So did you come up with your proudest moment?

What are you proud of?

That’s a question I have been asked for my interview on the Extraordinary Women online TV show which is being broadcast live on Tuesday.

Tough one isn’t it. Having been on this planet sixty years now, I’ve seen and done a lot.

I could talk about my family – my daughters and my husband of 38 years or my focus could be more on business. Over the years, I have been involved in starting several organizations for women and children. I am proud of the difference these programs and services continue to make in the lives of families.

Or should I go more personal and talk about my resiliency while coping with cancer and the night I decided to bare all and told the women at Company of Women what was happening with me?

And then there’s always my new book, Day by Day.

All of which goes to say, that I have lived a very full life and have few regrets. So stay tuned – it’s www.extraordinarywomentv.com

And think about it – what would your answer be? Some days, to be honest, it is just about getting up and getting on with life.

SIXTY GOING ON FORTY

I have had a wonderful week celebrating my birthday. I think as we get older we should recognize these milestones.

It started on Tuesday with my “I’m not sixty” birthday party when 20 girlfriends joined us for a girl-fest which was fun. Instead of gifts, I’d asked my friends to donate money towards a grants program I plan to start at Company of Women. Thanks to their generosity we raised $500.

Then Wednesday, THE actual day, I treated myself to some pampering at the spa, followed by lunch with a girlfriend and later dinner with my husband. Then Thursday saw my daughter’s birthday and yet another round of celebrations.

I think I am more troubled by her turning 32 than becoming sixty myself. It seems just yesterday that I was waddling, two weeks overdue, into the restaurant to celebrate my birthday. Boy did we get good service that night – they couldn’t wait to get us out of there for fear I would give birth right on the spot!

Where does the time go? We’ve had fun this week reflecting back on memories of the past. I have known some of my friends for over 30 years and we’ve been through a lot together – good and bad times – but I feel fortunate to have such long-standing friendships.

I even got a card from an old school friend in Scotland – now I’ve known her for 55 years - and I was touched she’d remembered my birthday after all these years. With the recent death of my dear friend Dianne I am reminded of how important our friendships are. They are our touchstones – with each other and ourselves.

Don’t let your business swallow up all your time and energy, because in the end it is our relationships that matter.

TEN TIPS ON MARKETING YOUR BUSINESS

Last week I was invited to serve on a panel to discuss marketing. At first I thought… what do I know on this topic? But as I started to reflect on the growth of Company of Women over the past eight years, I thought maybe I do know a thing or two. Here’s a summary of the information I shared.


1. Know and understand your target audience
A common mistake I find with those in start-up mode is that they don’t drill down enough to determine who is their target audience and as a result, they miss the sale. So often there is an attitude of “if I build it, they will come” well not necessarily.

Even when you have mastered who your ideal client is and how to reach them, it is not a time to get complacent. Marketing is ongoing and you have to be constantly checking in, changing things up to make sure you stay current.

2. Create a buzz.
Every time we start in a new community, we work hard to create a buzz and rely heavily on word of mouth referrals which is still the way we attract new women to the group. Like attracts like and women are especially good at spreading the word on a service or program they’ve found and like. Plus the price is right.

3. Have a website and keep it current. It has to be easy to navigate and written in simple language.

4. Use social media
Get involved with social media – it doesn’t take as much time as you think. If you are reading this, you will know that I have a blog. Company of Women is also on Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook. If you want to reach younger people – this is the way to go.

5. Provide useful information – it’s not all about you
On our website we have over 300 articles on business and our magazine is a strong marketing tool. It gives credibility to our group and reflects the professional approach we take to working with women.

6. Stay in touch
Keep yourself front and centre with your customers. We send out a monthly e-zine which has useful information as well as a list of our events. Flyers are also sent out on a regular basis, but it is a fine line and bombarding people is one way to lose them fast. Using a program like Constant Contact helps.

7. Give back/volunteer
As the leader of your own company, you have an opportunity to lead by example. When you give back or volunteer in the community, you just never know what the ripple effect will be. For example, through one volunteer activity for example, I ended up receiving an award, which in turn led to paid speaking engagement in Turkey. It was not why I volunteered, but sure was a nice payback.

8. Be good at what you do – go the extra mile
When you act professionally, share your expertise and help someone else, again it can be paid forward. When one of our members was asked by a reporter who had helped her the most, she said Company of Women which led to a full-page coverage in the Toronto Star, coverage that we could never have afforded.

9. Build relationships
Keep in touch with key clients or influencers, not just to discuss business but to offer congratulations for example on a special award or the birth of a grandchild. Those personal touches keep you front and centre in their mind.

10. Ask for referrals
This may seem obvious, but our existing clients are our best sales force. Ask them to write a testimonial or referral you to a friend or colleague.

It is not recommended that you use one approach to market your business, your strategy has to be multi-faceted. Review and track the results so you can measure what is working best for you. Ask people how they found out about you, you might be surprised, and remember to thank the person who has referred you.

ARE WE AHEAD OF THE TIMES?

What motivates you to succeed? What about your staff? And perhaps more important, what's your definition of success?

It has long been viewed by the corporate world that it is money that drives us to get ahead; that external rewards will propel us to do better and work harder for our employers.

In his new book, Drive, author Daniel Pink reveals that this premise is wrong and “four decades of scientific research on human motivation has revealed a mismatch between what science knows and what business does.”

So what does motivate us? “The secret to high performance and satisfaction at work, at school and at home – is the deeply human need to direct our own lives, to learn and create new things and to do better by ourselves and our world.” says Pink.

Now this “discovery” comes as no surprise to me. I’ve known this for years and it’s not that I am a particularly forward-thinking individual. I am confident if you asked other entrepreneurs, especially women entrepreneurs, the reaction would be the same.

My “drive” if you will, has always been to make a difference and one of the reasons many women start a business is to gain control and direct their own lives. And as for the creating new things – again as entrepreneurs we fit the bill.

Having said that, my hope is that our corporate leaders will read this book and implement the strategies suggested, because maybe then they will catch up with us, and as a human race we can all work together towards common goals.

Farmer or Hunter?

Which are you? That was part of our discussion at the recent Company of Women meeting in Cambridge. Speaker, Carole Cameron, author of Splash, An Introvert’s guide to Being Seen, Heard and Remembered, was talking about the way introverts vs. extraverts network.

I was struck by the farmer vs. hunter analogy because in some ways it speaks to the way some of us network. For me a farmer is someone who sows the seeds, follows up and nurtures the relationship to bring it to fruition, while a hunter is someone in for the kill, who will “stalk” the prospective client after meeting them, to the point where there is only one winner, instead of a win-win situation.

It was an interesting discussion. As one member pointed out, the difference between introvert and extravert is that the latter will enter the room and say “here I am” while the introvert is very much “here you are.”

Carole pointed out that while extraverts are quite comfortable initiating, introverts prefer to respond. Social media has become a medium behind which the introvert can blossom but also hide. It is much easier to respond in this way compared to face-to-face. Extraverts on the one hand, prefer to communicate verbally, while introverts like to communicate in writing through articles, books and other publications.

I consider myself to be a “shy extravert” so I found it interesting that my networking preference was very much to “farm” and to build relationships one-by- one. All of which causes me to question whether I am really a closet introvert, or do we change as we get older?

What do you think?

A SALUTE TO SOPHIE

It’s been a sad week here for us at the office where my dogs are part of the fixtures and fittings. We had to say goodbye to our friend Sophie, a ten-year-old English Setter.

Sophie was always the first to greet visitors when they arrived. She would smile – really – dance enthusiastically and bark her welcome. We didn’t need a doorbell with her around.

Making these life and death decisions is hard, and this was sudden. One day she was fine and the next she was showing signs that she was sick, very sick. As we waited for the results, the debate began on what to do if the news was bad. And it was.

We were actually her third owners so she had only been with us for five years, but we loved her from day one. We already had an English Setter, Henry, when we “adopted” her and they looked so alike people were sure they were brother and sister.

And even though she was younger, smaller and a girl, she was the boss. Henry very quickly learned to do as he was told. Yes, likely we could have all taken some lessons from Sophie on how to handle the male species. She wasn’t afraid to stake her claim or get what she wanted but she was a very loving dog who just loved to sit with her head on your lap, looking up at you with her doleful eyes.

We will miss her.

bizwomen: HONEY - I'M HOME

bizwomen: HONEY - I'M HOME: "February is all about relationships - between Valentine's Day and Family Day, we clearly are supposed to focus on our loved ones. Probab..."

HONEY - I'M HOME

February is all about relationships - between Valentine's Day and Family Day, we clearly are supposed to focus on our loved ones.

Probably not a bad idea, as I know January was pretty hectic for us and in the rush to get everything done, it's probably our personal relationships that end up going on the back burner.

I think I need to start the month, saying "honey, I am home!" I always resolve, especially at the beginning of a new year, that I am going to balance my life more and start to say no.

Last November I started taking Fridays off - something I highly recommend if you can swing it. But of course, not used to downtime, I volunteered to be the editor of the monthly community newspaper.

Between editing the Pioneer, getting our March issue of Company ready and finalizing my book, I have been embroiled in commas and the like all month. All of which I normally would enjoy, but not all at once.

Frankly, it has been a lot, particularly when the timelines were almost the same for each publication and I have ended up working every weekend. Not something I would recommend at all as you don't start your week that refreshed and ready for work. It's when you fall asleep at your desk (which I did) that you know it's time to stop.

So yes, February is going to be about relationships and I am checking back in with my friends and family, before they write me off.

FED UP WITH MEETUP

As part of our marketing strategy last year we signed up for Meetup, through which you can post your events, attract people to join your group and hopefully attend your events.

Sounded like a plan. However it was a lot of work to post the events each month, (we offer 10-12), do the follow up ranking of the meetings and keep connected with those who joined our group.

We ended up with 39 members, none of whom attended any meetings. So while posting on this site was perhaps creating awareness, it wasn’t generating participants, and definitely not recruiting new members.

So I cancelled the listing, informed the members of our decision and encouraged them to come to an event to check us out.

You can therefore imagine my surprise when I get a copy of an email that Meetup has sent out advising the 39 members that we have discontinued the group, not found an organizer to take over and so they are opening it up to the “membership” for someone to apply to run the Company of Women group instead. People had 15 days to submit their application.

I don’t think so. As I said to the folks at Meet Up, “this is my company, my business and I have chosen not to do business with you..“ End of discussion. From my perspective, they have no right to approach complete strangers to see if they want to run a group that bares the name of my company and would have nothing to do with us.

What do you think?

EGO BE GONE

I learned a tough life lesson recently. My ego can get in the way of doing the right and generous thing.

I had volunteered to be the editor of the local monthly newsletter in our community. As someone who has been paid to edit professionally, I believed I had something to offer and it would be a fun way to get to know the community.

But there lies the problem. I was seeing the newsletter as an extension and showcase of my professional skill, without giving too much consideration to the volunteers who dedicated their time to producing the articles.

I am known as a tight writer and editor, and nothing changed as I sat at the computer to edit the articles. Well, not everyone appreciated my editing style and I have already had a run-in with one volunteer whose pride was hurt, when I changed what she’d written.

Not a good start. But I am paying attention to the warning signs. I recognize that if I continue on this path of perfection, I will soon be writing the whole publication myself.

So I am letting go of my usual standards and working more to produce a publication that is truly representative of and written by members of the community. And I am eating humble pie as I try to woo back my disgruntled writer.

Oh the joys of volunteering. I have a feeling I am going to learn more than anyone, and hopefully not always the hard way.

IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME

Not necessarily.

But many new business owners are blinded by this belief.

Next week at the Toronto breakfast I am talking about how to find the ideal customer. A hot topic for small business owners.

When you start out, any customer will do as long as they pay and they pay on time. It’s all about keeping the financial wolves from the door and getting established. We also tend to offer a range of services or products in the hope that one will catch on and we will have found our niche. It is like a fishing expedition.

However, as time goes on, think about how much better it would be if you actually liked the customer, found the work interesting and yes, they paid on time. I don’t know about you but over the years, I have had some members who were, to put it politely “high maintenance” and when they didn’t renew for some reason, I was thrilled. That tells you something. How wonderful it would be if we could just work with people we feel connected to and akin with.

Initially we are just hungry for business, and so may not do the due diligence in determining who would be the “ideal customer.” Yet if we did, we could then be very focused in our marketing, and strategic in how reach and attract the perfect customers.

Being focused and clear on what you have to offer and who you want to serve is half the battle. It sounds simple, yet it doesn’t always happen and in fairness at the beginning, you just don’t know with certainty which of your offerings is going to be the one to take off.

I often compare this to the time we started a vegetable garden at the farm. We did not know what we were doing, but all enthusiastically we planted a broad selection of vegetables, many of which, I must confess did not survive.

One of the first to blossom and grow was the radishes. Now we don’t like radishes, so I questioned our wisdom in planting them in the first place. Likewise, when you start your business, you sow lots of seeds, not sure which will take off, but make sure you don’t throw in something that you don’t like to do.

Over the years at Company of Women we have narrowed down who we want to attract – from the broad definition of women, all shapes and sizes, to professional women in business (for themselves or someone else) who want to invest in themselves and in others.

Who’s your target audience? Be specific. The more you know about your ideal customers, the easier it is to plan a marketing campaign to reach them.

Feel the Fear

Remember that book by Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway? That’s how I feel about 2011.

I have decided in my infinite wisdom that this is going to be THE year of growth, and in order to achieve the goals I have set for us, I am going for broke in hiring the staff and experts to make that happen.

Scary stuff I can tell you. But deep down I know, that if we are going to grow and succeed, I have to take a risk and staff up so we can handle that growth. I’ve also farmed out some of the staff responsibilities to outside service providers, so that in the office we can concentrate on what has to be done and what we do best.

Well, we will either be super-successful or hunkering down at the end of 2011. Time will tell and as a gambling woman, I’ve decided it will be the former, as the other option just doesn’t figure in my plans.

But you have a part of play in this plan. Are you a member? Why not? Now is the time to become part of our dynamic community of women. So my advice - first join Company of Women – it is worth it, I promise, second make sure you participate. Like anything else, you only get out of it, what you put in. So if you don’t attend events, you can’t really expect people to use your product or services – they don’t know who you are.

As Jeffers reflects, “not only am I going to experience fear whenever I am on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.”

We’re in this together.

TIS THE SEASON..

Just one more sleep. Are you excited? I have to confess the Christmas season brings out the kid in me. I love getting the perfect gift for everyone on my list.

I’m ready and as I look out my window at the farm, with snow deep on the ground, the festive scene is set.

My children and their respective partners will be arriving Christmas morning and then the fun begins. Like many families we have our traditions. First it is the stockings, when I like to sit back and watch everyone and their delight (I hope) at what Santa has brought them.

Then rather than have a free for all, one person opens a gift, and then someone else, and so on until all the parcels under the tree are opened and admired. My eco-conscious daughter will then gather up and carefully fold the wrapping and tissue paper so we can use it again.

Each year we receive a cookie jar, complete with cookies, from someone in my husband’s office. So we have fun speculating what the container will be and who will get to take it home. We have quite the collection let me tell you. I had no idea you could get so many different types of cookie jars!

Christmas is a time of family. It’s a time to remember Christmases past and give thanks to those who are no longer with us, because they have shaped our lives and while they be may gone, their love stays with us.


Have a good one.

PRESENCE OR PRESENTS… WHICH ARE YOU GIVING?

Are you ready? Just nine days to go. I am quite proud of myself this year – I have stuck to my commitment not to overdo it. It’s a promise I make to myself every year but this is probably the first time that I have managed not to get carried away with the gift giving. We all have way too much stuff and I didn’t want to add to it. Instead, with some friends for example, we are donating to the charity of our choice.

We’re also hosting a couple of big parties over the holiday season, and again, I am feeling pretty laid back about it all. With one party, I didn’t even ask for people to let me know if they were coming or not. It was actually an oversight on my part, but you know what, it doesn’t matter because the people who show up are the ones who are meant to be there and I will have enough food, I am sure. And if I don’t, well it’s the people I want to see, not how much they can consume in two hours.

Now this really is a new attitude for me. In the past, I would have been double-checking with people to see if they were coming, perusing my cookbooks to plan the menus and cooking for weeks in advance. Not this year. I plan to actually enjoy the parties, rather than being stuck in the kitchen, cooking up a storm.

Why the difference? After a couple of stressful months waiting for test results to learn that it’s nothing too serious, I’ve realized – again – what’s important in life – and it’s presence, not presents.

So my gift to myself is to lighten up, enjoy the moment and treasure those I love.

PROMISES, PROMISES

One of the constant debates in rural communities is when, just when, are going to get high speed Internet?

Remember dial-up? That’s our reality in the country. What you may have forgotten is just how slow it is. Downloading material is just out of the question, and if all of us in the area are online at the same time, forget it. Plus you are tying up a phone line.

In a recent editorial in Harrowsmith Country Life, I chuckled as I read the editorial, in which the country-living editor bemoaned the fact that despite numerous promises of high speed, he no longer believed companies that said they would deliver it.

Tired of waiting, we switched to satellite, but it’s an expensive option and if the weather is stormy, you are out of luck. It’s also not high-speed, so downloading is still a challenge.

Only a month ago we were told that high speed was coming to the neighbourhood, and I came home early to meet up with the installer. He never came. And this is a fairly typical scenario.

I am often asked why I don’t work more from home, especially with modern technology. But the truth of the matter is at the farm we don’t have the benefit of that technology.

When I talked to a young phone salesman, he explained that in some rural areas, we don’t have a “cable footprint.” Well it seems to me that it is time we did.

Removing the mask

I wasn’t sure whether to post my blog last week. Should I be revealing that I sometimes get bogged down in my business, that I was running ragged and ready to pack it all in?

But my daughter encouraged me to put a face to the trials and tribulations of running your own business. And while I felt a bit vulnerable at revealing some home secrets, I have been touched by the response from people congratulating me on sharing my truth, and in some instances, their truth too.

We sometimes feel we live in a vacuum and no one else feels the same as we do, but we would be wrong. And sometimes when we drop the mask of perfection, we learn that we are not alone, and we are valued more for our honesty.

Well let’s hope so because my book is about done and it sure is honest, as I share the pitfalls I have fallen into as well as the successes we have experienced. I believe we can all learn from each other.

Right now some colleagues are reading it. If I felt vulnerable last week, that is nothing to what I feel now. I’m scared they will say I have wasted my time, and I should forget it and stick to my day job. Or that they will judge me, because I have put myself out there.

But I guess that is what leadership is all about – being prepared to stick your head out above the crowd and speak to what is important to you.

Finding My Remote Control

I think there comes a time in your career as an entrepreneur, when your business has taken off and is beginning to run like a well-oiled machine and yet somehow you get lost.

Instead of focusing your energies on what turns your crank, you find yourself tied up in the day-to-day running of the business. If you are creative, and many entrepreneurs are, this can seem like a slow death by torture.

Well, the tap has been dripping on my head for a while now and I have started to feel trapped and suffocated by the very business I created with love and passion. Will someone please let me out of here, before my creative juices run totally dry!

Part of it I know is that I am exhausted. I haven’t taken much of a break over the last few years. I work 60 hour weeks and I have let myself become a martyr to my cause – and that’s not good. I almost need rescuing from this world I have created for myself.

About ready to throw in the towel, I met with my coach with the intention of working on an exit strategy. But she helped me see that I do have options. I can control what I want to do. It just means making some changes in the way we operate and in the way I see myself.

“You need to let go of being a manager, and become a leader, Anne.” she observed. How freeing is that! Leadership doesn’t scare me – I’ve been doing it all my life. Being a manager, on the other hand, now that is a totally different story.

We all start businesses with different strengths, interests and passions. It’s a combination of that commitment and determination that helps us become successful. And while I still have the passion, I haven’t been playing from my strengths for some time now. Instead I’ve got bogged down in a management role, and there are times when that seems stifling.

Before I totally burned out, I started this month taking my Fridays off – and that has made a difference. Not having to drive two hours on the 401, is an amazing gift to myself. And I plan to use the holidays to revisit what I want to do. Where do I fit in this company? What will bring me joy, bring back the excitement and that bounce to my step?

It will likely mean that we have to reconfigure the jobs in the office, so other people can take over the parts of the work that I want to shed. But that’s OK – it means growth for everyone, and provides an opportunity for us all to revisit what we want to do, so we are all motivated and working from our strengths.

Amazing how one short conversation can turn things around. Instead of closing our doors, I am actually excited at the idea of how I can shape my role to not only meet my needs, but draw on my talents and those of the rest of my team. I’ve found my remote control.

Will the real Anne Day please come back? I think she just might.

MENTORING

When I look back on my career, I never really had a formal mentor. I was fortunate enough at one point to have a manager who saw skills and potential in me, long before I recognized my strengths, and she would assign me projects that were a stretch and through which I gained some confidence and expertise.

However, when you run your own business, you don’t have that insightful manager to point you in the right direction. That’s why the mentoring program offered through the Canadian Youth Business Foundation is such a good idea.

The organization not only hands out grants to young would-be entrepreneurs, but they match them up with a more seasoned business owner, so they are not alone and have someone to bounce around ideas and learn effective strategies to run their businesses.

I know I would have loved to have had someone like that when I launched my business, because at the beginning, you don’t know what you don’t know.

When I first started mentoring women entrepreneurs I was a bit nervous – after all what did I know about the IT industry, for example, but what I have found is that you don’t have to have all the answers, but can connect your protégé to someone who does. Plus, no matter what the business is, the issues are often the same. Much of it is common sense, and as someone who is older (not necessarily wiser), I have a lot of experiences from which to draw on.

Right now I am mentoring three young women and I find it’s a positive experience and I learn as much as hopefully they do.

On Wednesday, we are hosting a Mentoring for Growth panel and we will hear from one such mentoring pair on what has worked in their relationship and the impact on the young entrepreneur’s business.

One concern I hear from people is that they just don’t have the time, but you know what it doesn’t have to take hours – I allocate a certain amount of time each month to each young woman, book the time in advance and for that time period, they have my undivided attention, whether it be over the phone, by email or face-to-face. Yes, there is follow up and sometimes I link them with someone, but that’s it.

Bottom line, you can ask your questions, give advice but the end decision rests with the protégé as it should. Taking over is not helpful and does not instill confidence in the young business owner.

If you are interested in getting involved, check out the Foundation’s website at www.cybf.ca. There is a quote I’ve always liked – “all that you give to the lives of others, comes back into your own.”

POWER OF COLLABORATION AND CONNECTIVITY…not

Did you know that the two big events that honour Canadian women are being held on the same night, at the same time and in the same city – Toronto?

It would appear that both WXN’s 100 Most Powerful Women (which was held over lunch in the past) and the Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year awards are scheduled for November 29.

But it was when I read the title of the WXN keynote presentation - the Power of Collaboration and Connectivity – that the irony of the situation struck me. Clearly these groups have not connected and if they have, there was no sense of collaboration, or they would have changed their plans.

As women there are so few celebrations when we can recognize and pay tribute to our peers, our role models. So it is too bad that these two leading organizations could not have got their acts together and chosen different dates.

Maybe it’s time to walk the talk.

REAL LEADERSHIP

At the final ATHENA award presentation, my good friend, Diana Saulez, was honoured for all her hard work, commitment and leadership with ATHENA Oakville, and was presented with an ATHENA sculpture in recognition of her contribution. It was personally the highlight of the evening for me.

Now this was a complete surprise to Diana. She hadn’t even noticed that all her staff from Soleil Salon and Spa were in the audience as well as her son. They had been dodging in and out so she wouldn’t see them and give away the surprise. But you know what, I think even if Diana had seen them, she would never have imagined that they were there to celebrate her getting an award. She is so unassuming and modest, which is what makes her so special.

And this was evident in her acceptance speech. It truly was a surprise for her, so she gave an off-the-cuff, thank you speech. She was herself – real and humble. After a few tears, she started off emotionally saying she was truly grateful for waterproof mascara!

She then talked about how she got involved, her personal growth in leading ATHENA Oakville and how blessed she was to have surrounded herself with people who believed in her, gave her the courage to take risks, step out of her comfort zone and had the skills to help her achieve amazing success for ATHENA Oakville.

Now that is true leadership – humble, recognizing the contributions of others and sharing the spotlight.

Congratulations Diana.! You deserve all the kudos coming your way.

WOMEN RULE

“Forget China, India and the Internet, economic growth is driven by women” The Economist.

I love this quote. It was one shared by a speaker from Portugal at the recent TIAW Global Summit. I learned so much at this two-day event, including the following inspiring story.

It is hard enough here to get a loan for your business, but imagine what it is like in other countries, where women have no rights, no property and no access to money.

That’s how it used to be in India, but thanks to the efforts of Selima Ahmad
and women like her, that situation is changing. A successful business owner herself, she could see that women were not able to get ahead without the support and finances to build a business.

So she lobbied to have a Women’s Chamber of Commerce in Bangladesh. At first she was turned down, but she would not give up and found a loop-hole clause that meant that the government had to do something. They agreed to her request, provided she made it to the government buildings by a certain time to sign the documents. She lived 45 minutes from that location, and there was no way she could make their deadline.

Being a creative and determined woman, she decided to find alternative, fast transportation to get her there on time. So she called for an ambulance! You can just imagine the officials’ faces when she stepped out, pen in hand all ready to sign the necessary paperwork.

But she didn’t stop there, using the same lobby tactics and persistence, in 2006 she persuaded the banks to set aside $13 million to provide loans to women-owned businesses.

Oh that I wish she could do that here!

BUGS BE GONE

I knew early on this fall that this past week would be a marathon. And I wasn’t wrong.

Last week started with the early Small Business Breakfast on the Monday. Tuesday saw another early start with the Small Business Trade Show in Toronto where we had a busy booth, which was followed that evening with our Oakville dinner.

That alone would be enough excitement for the week, but no, we had the launch in Pickering on the Wednesday night and Thursday was spent interviewing for our social media intern. The week came to a welcome close with the launch of our breakfast meetings in Kitchener.

But what I hadn’t calculated or allowed for – was this stubborn cold that is infiltrating offices and homes across Canada, and all three of us in the office are at varying stages of battling the bug.

When you have school-age children, it goes with the territory that you catch some of the germs they generously bring home. So Vesna was the first to fall foul of the cold.

Travelling on a plane, left me a sitting target and it didn’t help that a man actually sneezed all over me. Clearly he’d never watched the commercials of sneezing and coughing into his arm. So fresh and relaxed from my holiday, I brought home some extra unwanted baggage – a doozy of a cold which seems to have a life of its own. It has been two weeks now and it’s showing no signs of going away.

And inevitably, Megan succumbed and she’s been off all week.

So it was a struggle this week to pull off all the events, be professional and welcoming, while all the time we just wanted to be at home, cozy in our PJs, sipping hot lemon.

But that’s what we do as women, mothers and wives, isn’t it. We carry on.

TAKE A BREAK

No phone. No emails. No interruptions. Sounds like heaven doesn’t it. Where was I? On my annual trek to the Isle of Man, which is a tiny island between England, Scotland and Ireland.

It’s my little piece of heaven and a step back in time. We even had good weather – with the sun shining, the water glistening and lashing to the shores, and the sheep grazing on the hills, the scenery is breathtaking and pretty hard to beat.

Unfortunately it is quite a distance to go, but well worth it once you get there. We walked, read books and just enjoyed the peace and quiet. We were even there to celebrate a friend’s 80th birthday.

As business owners we need to give ourselves permission to take a break, to refuel and recharge our energy for the months ahead. How many hours a week do you work? By my calculations, I can easily put in 60 hours/week.

After just a week away, I realize that is crazy and so I have resolved to take myself in hand and take more time for myself – just to read, write or reflect on life.

So next time you see me and I look all harried – remind me – to stop and take a breath.

PS – Back two days, and I get THE cold that is going around – that’s one of the negatives of being on a plane – you literally are a sitting target for those germs 

LET'S PARTY

I recently attended the President’s Dinner – a homecoming alumni event at Sheridan College. It was a lovely evening and a great idea. I got to meet some interesting people and as a result felt a renewed investment in and connection to Sheridan.

Have you ever brought your customers together? Had them in the same room to meet, network and get to know one another? You know it might work well, and create a strong community of people who believe in what you do. It is also a way to thank them and show your appreciation for their business.

With the holiday season fast approaching, this could be the time to execute this strategy. If you do, let me know what happens. My guess, is it will strengthen your relationship with your customer base.

TRUST YOUR INTUITION

I have a toothache. It’s been niggling away at me for weeks, actually months. I know I need to do something about it, but I’ve been trying to ignore it, in the hope it will just go away. I also know that it is going to be expensive to fix, so I hang in there, delaying what in the end is the inevitable.

Why do we do that? It’s the same in business. So often we don’t listen to our intuition and keep trying to fix something that is broken – be it an employee that is not working out, a client who isn’t a good fit, a process that doesn’t really generate the results we need or on the personal front, hanging in with a marriage that is beyond repair.

Always the optimist, I try to see the best in everyone and every opportunity, but sometimes I likely need to remove my rose-coloured glasses and face reality. Not everyone comes to the table with the same perspective. Not everyone is motivated to make a deal a win-win situation for all involved and more to the point, we don’t have to “get into bed” with everyone, just because they make what sounds like an attractive offer.

Listen to your gut. Let it guide you and don’t be afraid to take that tough decision. Deal with it. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen. Sometimes, it is not as bad as you think. And you end up feeling more confident because you’ve done what you knew deep down had to be done.

And I know… I will call the dentist this week. I promise.