The circle of friendship

When did you last meet up with old classmates?  Do you even stay connected?  In our hectic lifestyle it can be all too easy to lose touch.

But I have to tell you, I am so glad I have made that effort to keep in touch with long-time friends, because when you do get together, it’s like switching back the clock.

This was our summer of reunions – not just family ones - but with “old” friends.  I say “old” because we’ve known them for 60 + years.   

Frankly it was wonderful and left me with a warm glow – because these are people who really know you the best and the longest.  In fact truth be, they also have the dirt on you and all the antics you pulled off when you were a teenager or young adult. Our kids would likely be shocked.

What amazed me is how we just picked up where we left off. Soon we were reminiscing about past fun times together, catching up on the latest escapades of our adult children and sharing some great moments of laughter.  

Why does that happen?  I think part of it is our shared history, roots and values. We grew up in similar surroundings.  We enjoy and have the same dry British sense of humour and while we have pursued different careers and have different interests, that common thread keeps us tied together. And while we may now be Canadian, I suspect we often look at life through British eyes. 

However, it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes you have just grown apart. Sometimes the differences are too wide to bridge the gap, and sometimes people have changed.  You no longer share  their values or take on life, and that’s too bad.  But that can be true of any friendship, old or new.

The key is to surround yourself with friends who get you.  Warts and all. Friends who are there in good times and bad.  As you get older and lose your parents and older family members, it is these friends who become your family.  Your chosen family.  Choose them well. 

A few weeks ago we decided on the spur of the moment to phone some good friends in Vancouver. Not because we were coming out and wanted to stay with them, but just to check in and say "hi." It was lovely to reconnect with them.  We need to do that more often. 

This Thanksgiving, reach out and stay in touch. Phone or email someone today. I ‘d love that warm feeling to spread.

Like attracts like

Have you ever noticed that some people just seem to focus on the negative, so much so, that really you don’t want to be around them, as they kind of drag you down? 

I am sure we all have acquaintances who are always complaining.  Even when their comments may be valid, it is hard to buy-in and listen because you’ve heard it all before and nothing has changed.  They are stuck on that negative cycle, going round and round. So we switch off, tired of giving advice and no change made.

At a recent training session, Brendon Burchard shared that he’d had someone who attended one of his programs complain about his language.  In fact, she’d made a point of tracking the number of times he used certain words. 

First he refunded her money which was her request, and also apologized for his word choice, noting that he had to watch his words and be more careful not to offend in the future. 

But then as he thought more about it, he asked his team to replay the tapes and count up the number of times he’d spoken about hope, confidence, believing in yourself, etc…  The end number was impressive and far out-weighed the negative words.

So in his response to the woman who complained, he made the observation that unfortunately, when you focus on the negative, which in essence is what she did, you miss out on the good stuff.   How true.

When we spend our time zeroing in on what’s wrong in our lives, we give attention and energy to the negatives, and that is what we attract. On the other hand, when we focus on the positives, and take an abundance approach, we attract more of the same.

Let’s face it.  If you had to choose between doing business or being friends with someone who is always doom and gloom, versus someone who gives off positive energy,  – who would you choose? 

Recently a friend observed that no matter what, she always managed to find the silver lining in negative situations.  Not easy, and sometimes it takes time, but that attitude will take her places.

As we start a new year, let’s start with a positive attitude, because as Rosalie Wysockie used to say “Your attitude determines your altitude.”

Gratitude

I love this time of year.  The skies today are blue, not a cloud to be seen.  The air is crisp, but not cold and the colours of the trees magnificent.  How lucky we are.

How appropriate that this weekend we celebrated Thanksgiving.  I decided to come up with just three things I am grateful for and it was hard, as I have a lot – both big and small – that have blessed my life.

1.              Family and friends

I am so fortunate to have wonderful people in my life – my husband, my daughters and their partners… and yes, even the dog, Brodie who I love and curse at the same time.  Friendships are important to me and I try to keep connected to people who matter to me – both new and old friends. When the chips are down, these are the folks who rally round to support me.

2.              My health

I’ve had my share of health hiccups, so it is good to be feeling well and doing well.  Without our health, our quality of life is seriously impacted and often we take it for granted, until something goes wrong.

3.              Living in Canada

Had we stayed in England I am not so sure we would have enjoyed the lifestyle we have now.  Canada has been good for our entrepreneurial spirit and we are fortunate to live in country that offers freedom.  Freedom to choose your own destiny. Freedom to be who we are meant to be.

So what three things are you grateful for?  Let me know.

Life and business lessons from 2013

As the year comes to a close, it seems timely to reflect on what I’ve learned this year, both personally and professionally.  

Like most women, I find my work and family life often overlap, each impacting who I am, what I do and how I think.  

To me, 2013 was a year of personal and business growth, loss and gain.  It was a year of transition, as we moved from our family home of 28 years and with it came adjustments and change.

Personal

                        1.              Selling a home is a lengthy, stressful process.

2.              Decluttering frees you from the past.

3.              With old friends, you can pick up where you left off.

4.              When you meet a kindred spirit, you can become instant good friends.  

5.              Losing a pet is tough.

6.              Being generous with your time can mean a lot to other people.

Business

1.              Near perfect is OK

2.              Ignore competition.  Believe and stay true to your vision.

3.              Step outside your comfort zone, and doors open.

4.              Pay attention to synchronicity, it can lead to great outcomes

5.              Do the math. Make sure everything is included before you set a price.

6.              Do what you love, delegate the rest.

What about you?  What have you learned about yourself this year?