Best laid plans

This summer I learned an important business lesson – when Plan A doesn’t work, be ready and embrace Plan B.   To allow the failure of your plans to overtake your dreams, just fosters further disappointment and festers away at your intent.

I had spent at least six months planning a big family trip to Scotland and the Isle of Man to celebrate our 45^th wedding anniversary and 50 years of being together as a couple.  We’d decided to celebrate the 50 years now when we were all able to travel, rather than wait.

It was a complicated itinerary, as I worked to ensure everyone got to do what they wanted to do, and we also had some down time and space away from one another.

The first dent in THE PLAN, occurred before we left.  Thank goodness.  We discovered, by chance, that the airline we’d booked our tickets to get to the Isle of Man, had gone into liquidation.  So we had to scramble to get seats with another airline and as I write, we are still trying to get our money back from the first one, but not holding up much hope.

We had gone ahead of the “kids” and were collecting them in Glasgow to head off  together for a few days in the Highlands.   Except, last minute because a truck had hit their plane, their flight was cancelled.  It was 3.00am in the morning before they got checked into a Toronto hotel, where the three of them were left to share one bed.  Ever chivalrous, my son in law, spent the night in a chair.

A day late, we met them at the airport.  Now we’d had to move hotels, as there was “no room at the inn” where we were staying, and with two big concerts taking place in Glasgow, hotel rooms were scarce.  We ended up having to tough it out at a five-star hotel, which while lovely, was not part of our trip budget.

But I had decided early on with these unforeseen delays, that they were not going to spoil our vacation, which they could just as easily have done.  Instead I encouraged everyone to think about the great stories they’d have to share about what had happened. 

And with one day short, we focused more intently on we wanted to do and see in the time left.

As leaders in our businesses (and families) we set the tone.  Being pragmatic and coming up with a Plan B is a good start, but so is having a good attitude. 

As John Lennon once said “life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.”

Your vacation is what you make of it

It was a comment that Peter, the taxi driver made as he was driving me to Fort Myers airport after a wonderful one-week break, that made me realize that my attitude this trip had been different. 

He was telling me about a twenty-something who had come to Florida for some sun, and was sorely disappointed because while the sun was shining, the wind was blowing hard, making it chilly.  Consequently she hadn’t spent the time on the beach that she’d planned, and totally bent out of shape, she whined all the way to the airport.

Now it is true the weather wasn’t its usual glorious self, but hey, compared to the winter we’ve had this year, anything over 12 C, seems balmy to me.   Vacations, like anything else in life, are what you make of them and this year I went south with a changed mindset.

1.              The weather is immaterial.  In the past, I would have been like our young friend, and totally bummed out if I didn’t get my share of rays on the beach. But this year, my focus was on the break, getting away from work and most importantly, visiting with my cousin.

2.              Switching off from email is essential.  I had decided at the outset that I wouldn’t check email and I am proud to report I didn’t.   And you know what, it wasn’t as hard as I thought, all of which speaks to the need to take a break, because without the reminders of work, you can more easily unwind. 

3.              Urgent is a matter of interpretation.  Usually I would leave an out-of-office message giving a forwarding email so that if a matter was urgent, someone could be contacted. But I’ve found in the past that people make contact because they want an immediate answer, not because it is urgent.  So for seven days, Company of Women was offline and to my knowledge, nothing disastrous happened.

4.              Selective shopping.  OK.  I will fess up – I love to shop and normally that is one of our fun activities when I am down south.  However, my cousin had hurt her leg, which made walking distances difficult and so we couldn’t shop as much as usual.  But that was fine, as instead of wandering aimlessly at the stores, I was much more discerning on what I wanted to buy and where we went to shop.

5.              Budget.  Because I can see (and buy) lots of treasures and “have-to-haves,” I set myself a firm budget this year, and as my father would say, “when in doubt, out.”  So I stuck to what was practical, would be put to good use rather than some of my more frivolous purchases of previous years.

6.              Buy local.  Because I don’t take time to shop much when I am at home, I saw stuff that I liked and could easily get in Canada, so I decided to wait and get it locally, rather than carry it back in my luggage.

7.              Relax and read.  Now this isn’t a new direction, but for me the measure of a good holiday is how many books I manage to read – this year 4.5.  Not bad.

I don’t know about you but I am often a tad tetchy before I go, that’s actually my clue that it is time to get away.  So folks should be pleased that I have returned in a better frame of mind.  I am back, all mellow and chilled out, and not so willing to get into the fray once again, but it will come.  

But maybe the 24/7 ability to stay in touch with my business has to go, otherwise my business owns me, rather than the other way around.  What about you?  Who owns who?

Moving forward in 2013

 The start of a new year is an opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start afresh, but as I reflect on 2012, I can see that I need to re-evaluate my attitude, expectations and measures of success.

Last year I started the year in a funk, not feeling well, and fed up with myself, with being sick and frankly with running my business.  Being in martyr mode, I felt people did not appreciate my efforts and I was burning out. Fast.

Fortunately I gave myself a shake, and got my mojo back. Now, it is a different picture.  I am well, feeling positive and the outlook is too.  Your attitude truly does determine your altitude.

But too often I have let other people’s attitudes and behaviour negatively impact and disappoint me. Sometimes people act and react in a way that seems dismissive, rejecting, or unethical but I am learning that while I may take it personally, so often it is nothing to do with me at all. As one wise person said  “Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s true.” 

What was true for me was the demise of my magazine, Company, which I’d been struggling to make financially viable. With the changes in the economy, the number of advertisers were dwindling.  Yet, I carried on in blind faith, hoping that a financial miracle would turn it around.  Eventually sanity prevailed and I pulled the plug, and while it felt like failure at the time, I have come to appreciate that publishing a professional magazine for four years is a success.

So often we undervalue or don’t celebrate our successes, so in September when Company of Women turned ten, we held a birthday party, showing a video that captured the highlights of the past nine years. It made me realize how far we have come and that we need to celebrate each success, no matter how small.

Part of it is to avoid the numbers game.  As someone who puts on events, it can be all too easy to get caught up in measuring success by the number of people who attend, yet if what you are offering makes a difference for just one person, it is worthwhile.

And so as I move forward in 2013 I want to redefine what success means to me. It is more that we have a positive impact, helping women realize their potential and we make a difference.

An attitude of gratitude

With having a social media intern, I have become much more aware of its impact and have been measuring just how well we are doing in this arena.

So I decided to check the stats on my blog. More people are reading it – thank you. There have been times when I’ve wondered if my blog through which I live out loud about what is happening in my life, is all in a cyber-space vacuum that no one sees.

But what I did find interesting was that my most popular blog was the one I wrote about having a bad day which could indicate several things.

1. People love it when someone else is having a bad time
2. It is much easier for us to focus on the negative rather than the positive
3. My readers could relate to what I was saying
4. All of the above

As someone who is the eternal optimist and one who prefers to focus on the positive, I’d like to think it was number 3. We all have bad days, bad weeks, bad years actually, and perhaps writing about it is cathartic. Having a good vent, helps alleviate some of the frustrations and tensions. And being authentic, it is good to show that all is not always well in the Day/Company of Women camp.

I had to re-read that particular blog to remind myself of why it was so bad. And you know what, in the scheme of things, particularly in light of what is happening in the world, having to cancel a meeting and struggling with computer issues is really not up there in the list of disasters.

All of which leads me to say, that we need to gain perspective, roll with the punches and not take ourselves so seriously.

Let’s face it, we all have bad days, but there is always tomorrow, which for thousands of people in Japan, is not the case. Let’s be grateful for what we have.

Think positive

Are you someone who jumps to conclusions – right or wrong? Do you automatically think the worst? Do you act first and think later? Well here is a cautionary tale.

You never know what your day will bring, and last night we discovered that our basement was flooded – and I mean flooded, we were up to six inches in water. Everywhere.

After talking to the insurance company, they sent out an emergency crew to literally bale us out. By this time it is late in the evening, but this is an everyday occurrence for them, and I guess with the thawing snow, they may be even busier. So their truck is on our driveway as they pump the water out. They finished at four this morning however, not before we had a visit from the police.

Our neighbour had phoned them to complain about the noise. She didn’t call to find out what was wrong; she didn’t pop over to see if she could help – no, she automatically called the police. The officers were most polite, could see what the situation was, told us to continue and wished us all the best.

What a waste of their time. What a pity she couldn’t see the situation for what it was. Instead, she likely assumed one of our kids (who haven’t lived at home for the past five years) was larking around with a friend in a truck on our driveway.

What’s that old expression – when you assume, you make an “ass out of you and me”
So the moral of the story – think positive, reach out and ask if you can help instead of automatically assuming the worst and taking a negative stand when one isn’t necessary. Life is too short.