Feel the Fear

Remember that book by Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway? That’s how I feel about 2011.

I have decided in my infinite wisdom that this is going to be THE year of growth, and in order to achieve the goals I have set for us, I am going for broke in hiring the staff and experts to make that happen.

Scary stuff I can tell you. But deep down I know, that if we are going to grow and succeed, I have to take a risk and staff up so we can handle that growth. I’ve also farmed out some of the staff responsibilities to outside service providers, so that in the office we can concentrate on what has to be done and what we do best.

Well, we will either be super-successful or hunkering down at the end of 2011. Time will tell and as a gambling woman, I’ve decided it will be the former, as the other option just doesn’t figure in my plans.

But you have a part of play in this plan. Are you a member? Why not? Now is the time to become part of our dynamic community of women. So my advice - first join Company of Women – it is worth it, I promise, second make sure you participate. Like anything else, you only get out of it, what you put in. So if you don’t attend events, you can’t really expect people to use your product or services – they don’t know who you are.

As Jeffers reflects, “not only am I going to experience fear whenever I am on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.”

We’re in this together.

TIS THE SEASON..

Just one more sleep. Are you excited? I have to confess the Christmas season brings out the kid in me. I love getting the perfect gift for everyone on my list.

I’m ready and as I look out my window at the farm, with snow deep on the ground, the festive scene is set.

My children and their respective partners will be arriving Christmas morning and then the fun begins. Like many families we have our traditions. First it is the stockings, when I like to sit back and watch everyone and their delight (I hope) at what Santa has brought them.

Then rather than have a free for all, one person opens a gift, and then someone else, and so on until all the parcels under the tree are opened and admired. My eco-conscious daughter will then gather up and carefully fold the wrapping and tissue paper so we can use it again.

Each year we receive a cookie jar, complete with cookies, from someone in my husband’s office. So we have fun speculating what the container will be and who will get to take it home. We have quite the collection let me tell you. I had no idea you could get so many different types of cookie jars!

Christmas is a time of family. It’s a time to remember Christmases past and give thanks to those who are no longer with us, because they have shaped our lives and while they be may gone, their love stays with us.


Have a good one.

PRESENCE OR PRESENTS… WHICH ARE YOU GIVING?

Are you ready? Just nine days to go. I am quite proud of myself this year – I have stuck to my commitment not to overdo it. It’s a promise I make to myself every year but this is probably the first time that I have managed not to get carried away with the gift giving. We all have way too much stuff and I didn’t want to add to it. Instead, with some friends for example, we are donating to the charity of our choice.

We’re also hosting a couple of big parties over the holiday season, and again, I am feeling pretty laid back about it all. With one party, I didn’t even ask for people to let me know if they were coming or not. It was actually an oversight on my part, but you know what, it doesn’t matter because the people who show up are the ones who are meant to be there and I will have enough food, I am sure. And if I don’t, well it’s the people I want to see, not how much they can consume in two hours.

Now this really is a new attitude for me. In the past, I would have been double-checking with people to see if they were coming, perusing my cookbooks to plan the menus and cooking for weeks in advance. Not this year. I plan to actually enjoy the parties, rather than being stuck in the kitchen, cooking up a storm.

Why the difference? After a couple of stressful months waiting for test results to learn that it’s nothing too serious, I’ve realized – again – what’s important in life – and it’s presence, not presents.

So my gift to myself is to lighten up, enjoy the moment and treasure those I love.

PROMISES, PROMISES

One of the constant debates in rural communities is when, just when, are going to get high speed Internet?

Remember dial-up? That’s our reality in the country. What you may have forgotten is just how slow it is. Downloading material is just out of the question, and if all of us in the area are online at the same time, forget it. Plus you are tying up a phone line.

In a recent editorial in Harrowsmith Country Life, I chuckled as I read the editorial, in which the country-living editor bemoaned the fact that despite numerous promises of high speed, he no longer believed companies that said they would deliver it.

Tired of waiting, we switched to satellite, but it’s an expensive option and if the weather is stormy, you are out of luck. It’s also not high-speed, so downloading is still a challenge.

Only a month ago we were told that high speed was coming to the neighbourhood, and I came home early to meet up with the installer. He never came. And this is a fairly typical scenario.

I am often asked why I don’t work more from home, especially with modern technology. But the truth of the matter is at the farm we don’t have the benefit of that technology.

When I talked to a young phone salesman, he explained that in some rural areas, we don’t have a “cable footprint.” Well it seems to me that it is time we did.

Removing the mask

I wasn’t sure whether to post my blog last week. Should I be revealing that I sometimes get bogged down in my business, that I was running ragged and ready to pack it all in?

But my daughter encouraged me to put a face to the trials and tribulations of running your own business. And while I felt a bit vulnerable at revealing some home secrets, I have been touched by the response from people congratulating me on sharing my truth, and in some instances, their truth too.

We sometimes feel we live in a vacuum and no one else feels the same as we do, but we would be wrong. And sometimes when we drop the mask of perfection, we learn that we are not alone, and we are valued more for our honesty.

Well let’s hope so because my book is about done and it sure is honest, as I share the pitfalls I have fallen into as well as the successes we have experienced. I believe we can all learn from each other.

Right now some colleagues are reading it. If I felt vulnerable last week, that is nothing to what I feel now. I’m scared they will say I have wasted my time, and I should forget it and stick to my day job. Or that they will judge me, because I have put myself out there.

But I guess that is what leadership is all about – being prepared to stick your head out above the crowd and speak to what is important to you.

Finding My Remote Control

I think there comes a time in your career as an entrepreneur, when your business has taken off and is beginning to run like a well-oiled machine and yet somehow you get lost.

Instead of focusing your energies on what turns your crank, you find yourself tied up in the day-to-day running of the business. If you are creative, and many entrepreneurs are, this can seem like a slow death by torture.

Well, the tap has been dripping on my head for a while now and I have started to feel trapped and suffocated by the very business I created with love and passion. Will someone please let me out of here, before my creative juices run totally dry!

Part of it I know is that I am exhausted. I haven’t taken much of a break over the last few years. I work 60 hour weeks and I have let myself become a martyr to my cause – and that’s not good. I almost need rescuing from this world I have created for myself.

About ready to throw in the towel, I met with my coach with the intention of working on an exit strategy. But she helped me see that I do have options. I can control what I want to do. It just means making some changes in the way we operate and in the way I see myself.

“You need to let go of being a manager, and become a leader, Anne.” she observed. How freeing is that! Leadership doesn’t scare me – I’ve been doing it all my life. Being a manager, on the other hand, now that is a totally different story.

We all start businesses with different strengths, interests and passions. It’s a combination of that commitment and determination that helps us become successful. And while I still have the passion, I haven’t been playing from my strengths for some time now. Instead I’ve got bogged down in a management role, and there are times when that seems stifling.

Before I totally burned out, I started this month taking my Fridays off – and that has made a difference. Not having to drive two hours on the 401, is an amazing gift to myself. And I plan to use the holidays to revisit what I want to do. Where do I fit in this company? What will bring me joy, bring back the excitement and that bounce to my step?

It will likely mean that we have to reconfigure the jobs in the office, so other people can take over the parts of the work that I want to shed. But that’s OK – it means growth for everyone, and provides an opportunity for us all to revisit what we want to do, so we are all motivated and working from our strengths.

Amazing how one short conversation can turn things around. Instead of closing our doors, I am actually excited at the idea of how I can shape my role to not only meet my needs, but draw on my talents and those of the rest of my team. I’ve found my remote control.

Will the real Anne Day please come back? I think she just might.

MENTORING

When I look back on my career, I never really had a formal mentor. I was fortunate enough at one point to have a manager who saw skills and potential in me, long before I recognized my strengths, and she would assign me projects that were a stretch and through which I gained some confidence and expertise.

However, when you run your own business, you don’t have that insightful manager to point you in the right direction. That’s why the mentoring program offered through the Canadian Youth Business Foundation is such a good idea.

The organization not only hands out grants to young would-be entrepreneurs, but they match them up with a more seasoned business owner, so they are not alone and have someone to bounce around ideas and learn effective strategies to run their businesses.

I know I would have loved to have had someone like that when I launched my business, because at the beginning, you don’t know what you don’t know.

When I first started mentoring women entrepreneurs I was a bit nervous – after all what did I know about the IT industry, for example, but what I have found is that you don’t have to have all the answers, but can connect your protégé to someone who does. Plus, no matter what the business is, the issues are often the same. Much of it is common sense, and as someone who is older (not necessarily wiser), I have a lot of experiences from which to draw on.

Right now I am mentoring three young women and I find it’s a positive experience and I learn as much as hopefully they do.

On Wednesday, we are hosting a Mentoring for Growth panel and we will hear from one such mentoring pair on what has worked in their relationship and the impact on the young entrepreneur’s business.

One concern I hear from people is that they just don’t have the time, but you know what it doesn’t have to take hours – I allocate a certain amount of time each month to each young woman, book the time in advance and for that time period, they have my undivided attention, whether it be over the phone, by email or face-to-face. Yes, there is follow up and sometimes I link them with someone, but that’s it.

Bottom line, you can ask your questions, give advice but the end decision rests with the protégé as it should. Taking over is not helpful and does not instill confidence in the young business owner.

If you are interested in getting involved, check out the Foundation’s website at www.cybf.ca. There is a quote I’ve always liked – “all that you give to the lives of others, comes back into your own.”

POWER OF COLLABORATION AND CONNECTIVITY…not

Did you know that the two big events that honour Canadian women are being held on the same night, at the same time and in the same city – Toronto?

It would appear that both WXN’s 100 Most Powerful Women (which was held over lunch in the past) and the Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year awards are scheduled for November 29.

But it was when I read the title of the WXN keynote presentation - the Power of Collaboration and Connectivity – that the irony of the situation struck me. Clearly these groups have not connected and if they have, there was no sense of collaboration, or they would have changed their plans.

As women there are so few celebrations when we can recognize and pay tribute to our peers, our role models. So it is too bad that these two leading organizations could not have got their acts together and chosen different dates.

Maybe it’s time to walk the talk.

REAL LEADERSHIP

At the final ATHENA award presentation, my good friend, Diana Saulez, was honoured for all her hard work, commitment and leadership with ATHENA Oakville, and was presented with an ATHENA sculpture in recognition of her contribution. It was personally the highlight of the evening for me.

Now this was a complete surprise to Diana. She hadn’t even noticed that all her staff from Soleil Salon and Spa were in the audience as well as her son. They had been dodging in and out so she wouldn’t see them and give away the surprise. But you know what, I think even if Diana had seen them, she would never have imagined that they were there to celebrate her getting an award. She is so unassuming and modest, which is what makes her so special.

And this was evident in her acceptance speech. It truly was a surprise for her, so she gave an off-the-cuff, thank you speech. She was herself – real and humble. After a few tears, she started off emotionally saying she was truly grateful for waterproof mascara!

She then talked about how she got involved, her personal growth in leading ATHENA Oakville and how blessed she was to have surrounded herself with people who believed in her, gave her the courage to take risks, step out of her comfort zone and had the skills to help her achieve amazing success for ATHENA Oakville.

Now that is true leadership – humble, recognizing the contributions of others and sharing the spotlight.

Congratulations Diana.! You deserve all the kudos coming your way.

WOMEN RULE

“Forget China, India and the Internet, economic growth is driven by women” The Economist.

I love this quote. It was one shared by a speaker from Portugal at the recent TIAW Global Summit. I learned so much at this two-day event, including the following inspiring story.

It is hard enough here to get a loan for your business, but imagine what it is like in other countries, where women have no rights, no property and no access to money.

That’s how it used to be in India, but thanks to the efforts of Selima Ahmad
and women like her, that situation is changing. A successful business owner herself, she could see that women were not able to get ahead without the support and finances to build a business.

So she lobbied to have a Women’s Chamber of Commerce in Bangladesh. At first she was turned down, but she would not give up and found a loop-hole clause that meant that the government had to do something. They agreed to her request, provided she made it to the government buildings by a certain time to sign the documents. She lived 45 minutes from that location, and there was no way she could make their deadline.

Being a creative and determined woman, she decided to find alternative, fast transportation to get her there on time. So she called for an ambulance! You can just imagine the officials’ faces when she stepped out, pen in hand all ready to sign the necessary paperwork.

But she didn’t stop there, using the same lobby tactics and persistence, in 2006 she persuaded the banks to set aside $13 million to provide loans to women-owned businesses.

Oh that I wish she could do that here!

BUGS BE GONE

I knew early on this fall that this past week would be a marathon. And I wasn’t wrong.

Last week started with the early Small Business Breakfast on the Monday. Tuesday saw another early start with the Small Business Trade Show in Toronto where we had a busy booth, which was followed that evening with our Oakville dinner.

That alone would be enough excitement for the week, but no, we had the launch in Pickering on the Wednesday night and Thursday was spent interviewing for our social media intern. The week came to a welcome close with the launch of our breakfast meetings in Kitchener.

But what I hadn’t calculated or allowed for – was this stubborn cold that is infiltrating offices and homes across Canada, and all three of us in the office are at varying stages of battling the bug.

When you have school-age children, it goes with the territory that you catch some of the germs they generously bring home. So Vesna was the first to fall foul of the cold.

Travelling on a plane, left me a sitting target and it didn’t help that a man actually sneezed all over me. Clearly he’d never watched the commercials of sneezing and coughing into his arm. So fresh and relaxed from my holiday, I brought home some extra unwanted baggage – a doozy of a cold which seems to have a life of its own. It has been two weeks now and it’s showing no signs of going away.

And inevitably, Megan succumbed and she’s been off all week.

So it was a struggle this week to pull off all the events, be professional and welcoming, while all the time we just wanted to be at home, cozy in our PJs, sipping hot lemon.

But that’s what we do as women, mothers and wives, isn’t it. We carry on.

TAKE A BREAK

No phone. No emails. No interruptions. Sounds like heaven doesn’t it. Where was I? On my annual trek to the Isle of Man, which is a tiny island between England, Scotland and Ireland.

It’s my little piece of heaven and a step back in time. We even had good weather – with the sun shining, the water glistening and lashing to the shores, and the sheep grazing on the hills, the scenery is breathtaking and pretty hard to beat.

Unfortunately it is quite a distance to go, but well worth it once you get there. We walked, read books and just enjoyed the peace and quiet. We were even there to celebrate a friend’s 80th birthday.

As business owners we need to give ourselves permission to take a break, to refuel and recharge our energy for the months ahead. How many hours a week do you work? By my calculations, I can easily put in 60 hours/week.

After just a week away, I realize that is crazy and so I have resolved to take myself in hand and take more time for myself – just to read, write or reflect on life.

So next time you see me and I look all harried – remind me – to stop and take a breath.

PS – Back two days, and I get THE cold that is going around – that’s one of the negatives of being on a plane – you literally are a sitting target for those germs 

LET'S PARTY

I recently attended the President’s Dinner – a homecoming alumni event at Sheridan College. It was a lovely evening and a great idea. I got to meet some interesting people and as a result felt a renewed investment in and connection to Sheridan.

Have you ever brought your customers together? Had them in the same room to meet, network and get to know one another? You know it might work well, and create a strong community of people who believe in what you do. It is also a way to thank them and show your appreciation for their business.

With the holiday season fast approaching, this could be the time to execute this strategy. If you do, let me know what happens. My guess, is it will strengthen your relationship with your customer base.

TRUST YOUR INTUITION

I have a toothache. It’s been niggling away at me for weeks, actually months. I know I need to do something about it, but I’ve been trying to ignore it, in the hope it will just go away. I also know that it is going to be expensive to fix, so I hang in there, delaying what in the end is the inevitable.

Why do we do that? It’s the same in business. So often we don’t listen to our intuition and keep trying to fix something that is broken – be it an employee that is not working out, a client who isn’t a good fit, a process that doesn’t really generate the results we need or on the personal front, hanging in with a marriage that is beyond repair.

Always the optimist, I try to see the best in everyone and every opportunity, but sometimes I likely need to remove my rose-coloured glasses and face reality. Not everyone comes to the table with the same perspective. Not everyone is motivated to make a deal a win-win situation for all involved and more to the point, we don’t have to “get into bed” with everyone, just because they make what sounds like an attractive offer.

Listen to your gut. Let it guide you and don’t be afraid to take that tough decision. Deal with it. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen. Sometimes, it is not as bad as you think. And you end up feeling more confident because you’ve done what you knew deep down had to be done.

And I know… I will call the dentist this week. I promise.

ARE YOU READY?

Recently I received a call from someone who wanted to take her program on the road. She wanted my advice on how to proceed and how to take her business to the next level.

After asking a few questions, it was clear that while she’d had a lot of interest in her program from other cities, she needed to spend some time documenting what she did; thinking about the guidelines and parameters under which the program would work in other cities and build in some processes to ensure that the people or organizations she recruited would be true to the essence of her program.

I cautioned her about leaping in and trying to expand too quickly, especially if she didn’t have the staffing or programs in place to manage the growth. My suggestion was that she tried a pilot program, perhaps close to her base, so she could monitor what was happening and learn from that experience before embarking on a full-blown expansion.

As a community developer, I’ve often found that what works in one community, may not work in another and it is important to tailor your offerings to suit the local group. So I suggested that she might also want to think about what was a must-have, and what could be left to the discretion of the community.

So often we feel flattered and pressured when other groups express interest in having your program or service in their community. It is easy to get seduced into growing before you are ready.

Like any business expansion, there needs to be homework done to ensure that all the pieces are in place, not just one enthusiastic fan who could disappear just as fast she appeared, leaving you holding the baby.

HAVING A BAD DAY

What a week. Especially on Monday. It seemed like Friday the 13th not Monday the 13th. Now I knew going into the week that it would be hectic, we had a lot on, but did not allow for how so many things could go wrong, and as a result delay everything.

First our Wednesday speaker emailed to say she was stuck in Tel Aviv and might not make it back in time. Decision time. Do we cancel now or run the risk of a no-show speaker? We cancelled which meant phone calls to all registered, refunds, etc…

One of the computers is out of commission but a quick call to our tech guy, and we are back in business. The next issue of the magazine arrives – great – it is one day early and now we can ship it out. No. The website at the courier service we use is down – all day.

You get the picture I am sure. I went to check my horoscope thinking it might give me a clue – I mean - perhaps in astrology-speak mercury was in retrograde or something, but it’s not that relevant. The next day, I decide early on to read my horoscope, hoping it would shed some light on the day ahead. Guess what – same wording.

That’s strange I thought and then I see it – at the bottom of the page. The Globe and Mail was apologizing because they’d printed Tuesday’s horoscopes on Monday. Good to know. Guess we weren’t the only ones having a bad day.

SLAYING SOME DRAGONS

Do you have any irrational fears? This week I tackled a couple of mine head-on. I have never been a comfortable driver, although I will say with the move to the farm and my daily treks on the 401, I am getting better, but driving long distances is still not in my comfort zone, especially if I don’t know where I am going.

Then there’s public speaking, which many put pretty close to death on the fear scale. It has certainly been one of mine for years. Even in high school I would go to ridiculous lengths to avoid having to speak in front of a group of people, especially my peers.

I’ll admit Company of Women has helped me gain more confidence in this arena but I would never put myself out there as a public speaker, yet after this week – maybe I can.

I was invited to be the keynote speaker at the launch of the Peterborough Women’s Business Network 50 year celebration. I agreed – but as I was driving there on Wednesday I realized I was tackling two fears for the price of one. Driving and public speaking – all in one day – what was I thinking!

Well I got there and back in one piece without any incident – not sure what I would do without my GPS and as for the speech – I blew myself away – I didn’t even look at my notes and just talked for 45 minutes. As one person commented, this may have been the launch of my speaking career – but who knew. And the other neat part – I actually enjoyed it.

So never say never, because you could prove yourself wrong.

POSITIVE FEEDBACK COUNTS..

I learned an important lesson this week. No matter how competent and professional people are, they still need to be told they are doing a good job.

As my way to say thank you to the writers for our magazine, Company, I hosted a luncheon in my home. This is actually an annual event in the summer, and my way of acknowledging their contribution to the success of the magazine.

However, as our discussion evolved, it became clear that writing makes us feel vulnerable because when your work is published, you really are putting yourself out there and leaving yourself open to criticism or negative comment.

And so the women were anxious to know if they were doing OK. I was surprised – because to my mind, if they weren’t doing OK – they’d be hearing from me or wouldn’t be writing for us anymore. What I’d forgotten is everyone needs to be validated; to know that they are on the right track and their efforts are appreciated.

So note to self – be more generous with the praise and positive feedback, because no matter who you are – hearing you are doing well, matters.

ASK AND YOU WILL RECEIVE

Years ago, and I mean years ago, I used to have a parenting column in the local newspaper. Once a month I would tackle some issue related to raising children, often using my own experiences as fodder for the articles.

One such column addressed the challenges and competitiveness of Halloween. As someone who didn’t sew, I was complaining about how far we had come from the original concept of the kids just dressing up in what ever was around the house.

No, instead parents were creating costumes that were worthy of the local dramatic group, or spending a small fortune to buy one that represented the latest hot character – be it Superman or a creature from Star Wars.

Well, as a result of that column, a neighbour, an older woman whose kids were long gone from home, came over with several costumes. She’d read my article, and taking pity on my lack of sewing skills, gave me the costumes, so that my girls could look the part and hold their heads high that Halloween.

While I hadn’t expected my neighbour’s generosity, this story does show the power of putting it out there – of stating what you need – even back then the universe provided. What do you need? Have you asked for help?

In a recent LinkedIn discussion in the Company of Women group, one member asked about recommendations for email marketing. There has since been a flurry of emails, with other members being all-supportive, suggesting different resources. A modern-day example of how when you ask for help, people will rally round. Why not try it, you might be surprised.

Now after the success of the Halloween column, my husband, always quick on the uptake, suggested that in my next column I write that I couldn’t cook, hoping that the reaction would be similar and people would drop off meals!

And no, I didn’t. You also need to learn when to stop while you are ahead.

NO MORE NICE GIRL?

For years now emotional intelligence (EI) has been touted as an important skill set to have, and one that women in particular, have mastered.

It was Daniel Goleman who popularized this concept. He found that the most effective leaders were alike in one crucial way – they had emotional intelligence. They had empathy for other people.

However, recently German researchers have found that being nice doesn’t pay and in fact women who are agreeable, earned $80,000 less in their lifetime that those who were more ruthless and demonstrated more male behaviours.

It is now believed that to survive and succeed in business, you need toughness. So often, observes Suzy Welch, former editor of the Harvard Business Review, women take on the good mother role. She believes that “empathy paralyzes you when you need to make tough people decisions or give tough feedback.”

And certainly when you talk to successful entrepreneurs, they admit that they’ve kept someone on the payroll longer than they should and that in hindsight, they would have done better to fire the employee early on when the signs were there that it wasn’t going to work.

Another component of emotional intelligence is self-knowledge and this too, researchers believe, turns out to be a dangerous weapon for women at work. Research suggests that men tend to over-estimate their abilities, while women tend to underestimate theirs. Women doubt themselves and self-doubt is not an asset in business.

However, in a recent study, How Remarkable Women Lead, the two female consultants argue that a woman’s emotional depth helps her be not just a better person, but a better leader who can deliver results.

Personally I like the way women lead and their collaborative approach to business. Being sensitive to people’s needs can take you a long way. But success lies in knowing when to use your emotional intelligence, and when to make the tough decisions that have to be made if your business is to survive and grow.

What do you think?