TRUE ROLE MODELS

On Tuesday I attended the Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Awards Dinner. What a lovely and inspiring event! Now I have been nominated myself several times (always the bridesmaid) but as I listened to the recipients talk, it was obvious to me that they were in a different league.

Not just in what they have achieved financially, but in their attitude - their passion for what they do, their belief in themselves and their team and their ability to use their success to reach out in their communities to make a difference.

My congratulations to every one of you – you truly deserved to win.

Building a Better Future

Over the years I have met and enjoyed chatting to numerous women entrepreneurs, all at different stages in their business, but driven by a passion to succeed, but none can compare with the dream Terri Smith has for her social enterprise.

When I first met Terri she was opening a private school for teens who, for a variety of reasons, didn’t fit into the mainstream educational system. Commendable work, and with a successful campus launched and underway, it would have been all too easy for Terri to sit back and coast.

But no. She saw that there was a glaring need for alternative education for youth whose parents could not afford the high fees, for families that have only known poverty, welfare and disadvantage. She wanted those students to have an opportunity to shine.

This week I visited Terri’s latest campus, located in a humble area of Hamilton. I met some of the students who for the first time in their lives felt they belonged; that someone cared about them, and who were succeeding on their own terms.

Terri offers a wide range of programs, from LINK for new Canadians to Women in the Skilled Trades, a pre-apprenticeship program for young women considering a career in the trades. And she has big dreams – of creating a vocational school that offers students the opportunity to realize their potential – be it through culinary training, picture framing or other practical hands-on, transferable skills.

I left feeling inspired and in total awe of the task Terri has set for herself, but she seems undaunted and you get the feeling, no matter what, her dream will come true. To learn more about AAT School, and how you can help – check the website at http://aat-school.ca

Down with Negativity

Surround yourself with positive people was one of the key messages in a recent talk given by Mac Voisin, President of M & M Foods.

“Get rid of all the negative focus in your business and personal life” he advised. “They take up too much negative energy, he claimed, and just pull you down.”

Voisin is clearly the ultimate optimist and when he, and his lawyer brother-in-law started M & M Foods, they really didn’t have too much to be positive about, but they always looked on the bright side. If asked how things were going, they would put a positive spin on it, even when they knew business was slow; and sure enough, the business grew.

Back in the 80’s the concept of buying ready-prepared food was a new one, but as more and more women entered the workplace, these time-starved customers loved the idea.

Today M & M Foods has over 400 franchises across Canada and is getting established in the US, under the name of My Menu. Voisin also attributes their success to:

 Hiring for attitude, training for skills
 Customer service
 Comprehensive training for staff and franchisees
 Listening
 Staying focused, not getting sidetracked
 Doing due diligence on locations, products, etc…

Tomato Juice Anyone?

I’ve been saying it a lot lately, but I really should read and pay heed to the articles I have been writing – particularly the one on going with the flow and being flexible.

Can you tell I have had a tough day dealing with the unexpected? In July we moved into the country and I think I have done really well coping with snakes in the bathroom, bats in the house. I’ve accepted that mice are just a part of country living and will always co-habit with you.

So what caught me off guard? I can’t even claim that it is only a rural phenomena, but one of our dogs got sprayed by a skunk. I was leaving for work at the time and so I bundled the dogs into the car and headed off to the office. Now it is 50 minutes door to door, not a long drive usually, but with a dog in the back reeking of skunk, I can tell you it seemed a very, very long way.

After advice from different sources, we decided to skip the tomato juice and went straight to the Skunk Off. Now it took three of us to tackle this job – fortunately my son-in-law was around and we looked a pretty picture in the back yard, wearing old clothes and armed with yellow plastic gloves and old towels, all holding the dog down as we sprayed and washed him with the solution.

Completely off his stride, the only way to calm Henry down (the dog, not the son-in-law) was to keep him in my office – door closed of course, so that the ‘eau de skunk’ didn’t totally permeate the place. And there we were all afternoon, my smelly friend and I. Amazingly, after a while I didn’t even notice the odour but maybe that’s because I was beginning to smell too! As I found at my dance class a few hours later. I was definitely not good to know.

And I definitely didn’t get too far in my “to do” list but I guess tomorrow is another day, and hopefully one without stinky dogs! Maybe next time, I’ll just make myself a Bloody Mary with the tomato juice, and all will be well.

When David Meets Goliath

I was interested to read a recent article – Mini-Power Play – in this month’s issue of Canadian Business.

Having heard some of the horror stories from members of negotiating with the big guys, it’s good to know that “negotiating with giants doesn’t have to be one-sided.”

While the author, Andy Holloway, acknowledges that the small company will understandably feel intimidated when dealing with the larger company, he offers some sound advice to protect the industry titans from stealing your ideas and secrets during pre-contract talks.

Never reveal more than you’re comfortable losing, he recommends, illustrating this point with a story of a Canadian farmer selling flavoured sunflower seeds who politely refused to reveal the secret ingredients. This strategy let him hike up his prices because the retailer couldn’t source his product elsewhere.

The key is provide enough information to spark the “giant’s” interest, without giving them anything that could be used to undermine you. Instead, he recommends you build a business case and provide enough evidence to convince the company that your product is worth the investment.

Dragon's Den

A small group of us gathered on Monday night to watch the Dragon’s Den. We had a vested interest in watching, because not only was Company of Women member, Marissa McTasney, one of the star pitchers this week, but several of us were part of her presentation. You’re allowed to bring props to the show, and Marissa chose to have 30women showcasing her hard hats, workboots, toolbelts and T-shirts.

It was fun to be part of that day, although I was glad no one asked me what type of handy work I do! The dragons interviewed her for over an hour. That’s a long time to be in the hot seat, but Marissa could answer all their questions, stood her ground and believed in herself. As I watched the extract shown on Monday, I was proud of her, and all the Company of Women members who gave up their day to be on the show with her. Now that’s women helping women.

Changing the Routine

This fall I decided to change my fitness regime. I was getting bored with the same old, same old and thought it was time to diversify. And if I am being truly honest, apart from the training for the 60K walk, fitness kind of took a back burner this summer. But I was getting too comfortable not working out, and I knew I had to do something So today, when I had my first training session, I realized I not only need to do this, but it felt good to stretch myself physically again.

Now you may be thinking – that’s all very nice but what has that got to do with me. Lots. Especially if you compare fitness to marketing.

It is all too easy to get stuck on the treadmill, producing the same tried and true marketing material to entice new customers. Complacency can lead to loss of business, so even when your business is doing well, you need to continue marketing. And just as I’ve chosen to change the mix on how I get my exercise, so too do you need to develop different marketing approaches to reach your target audience. Who knows, just as I was getting bored with the same routine, your customers or potential customers, are maybe getting bored with the same message from you.

So think about who you want to reach. Can you do that differently? What message do you want to deliver? When we embrace change, we open ourselves up to new territories.

You might be surprised at what you can accomplish, just by taking a fresh look at how you have been communicating. And just as I recognized the value of staying fit and active, in your business you need to stay nimble and quick on your feet, because then you can win the race.

Sometimes men are right, well occasionally

I don’t know about you but I really stew about tough decisions, especially when I know I may hurt the other person’s feelings. I put it off, and I talk myself into thinking it will work out – anything to avoid a confrontation. But I am learning.

And one of the things I am learning is that sometimes, just sometimes mind you, my husband is right. He has his own business too and so is familiar with the trials and tribulations of being an entrepreneur. However, I have been trying to run Company of Women on my own, without his advice, (read interference.)

However, he could see this situation was bothering me and gave me his advice, and for once, I listened and took it. Working in an all-female environment, I can get so caught up in the feelings, rather than the practical, business perspective. He helped me step outside of that and take a hard look at what I needed to do.

Now I wouldn’t want this to go to his head, but then there’s little risk of that – as I am sure he doesn’t read my blog!

Finding Herself

I grew up in the UK, where my grandmother was a big fan of the Royal Family. She had a wonderful collection of hats, and she was in her glory when people would comment on how like the Queen Mother she was. So this week when I had the opportunity to hear the Duchess of York, I thought of my grandmother and her fascination with the Royal Family.

Fergie shared that her early childhood was happy, but that all changed when her mother left. She was 13 at the time and always thought her naughty antics were the cause of the marriage break-up. She believed that if she’d been a good girl, the split would never have happened. So for years, she tried to be perfect, she tried to please and as a result, lost the essence of who she was in her search for approval.

As she talked about her marriage to Andrew and the love they still shared with each other and for their daughters, it struck me as sad that their marriage didn’t work out. But he was at sea, and she saw him for 40 days/year for the first five years. It must have been pretty hard to maintain a strong, intimate relationship and as she said, at 24, they did not have the maturity or courage to take a stand for what they wanted.

As she talked about her journey to find herself, you got the sense that some of the negative media still hurts but she has found her purpose through the different charities she has started to support children around the world. This is her passion and she feels she is putting her celebrity status to good use.

Her talk was honest and real. The organizers kept saying she had to leave because of another engagement, but she stayed on, telling one story after another. It almost seemed as if she didn’t want to leave, maybe because she knew that the women in the audience understood her struggles and she felt validated.

Whatever the reason, she made an impact and I just wish my grandmother had been there to enjoy the moment.

Laughing out Loud

They say that laughter is good for the soul, and it helps burn calories. If this is true – I stand to lose some considerable weight this week as I had the opportunity to listen to two very funny ladies.

The first was Carole Bertuzzi Luciani who spoke at our dinner in Oakville. Now, Carole was my first speaker when I launched Company of Women six years ago, and her ability to take a normal situation and turn it into something worth laughing at is amazing. This time she was talking about the hoops we put ourselves through to lose weight, something many of us in the audience could identify with and her stories and antics, hit a chord. Likewise at the Inspiring Women conference, Deborah Klimmett focused on parenting, raising children and other hot topics such as menopause.

While the issues covered by both the women were different, the delivery was similar. Each talked honestly about her own trials and tribulations – sometimes saying out loud what we may have all thought or felt at one time or another, but never had the courage to verbalize.

I like their honesty – it helps us realize we are not alone, and most importantly that we shouldn’t take life or ourselves too seriously.

Stepping out

Tears. Laughter. Rain. Sore feet. And more rain. That was my weekend as I participated in the 60K Weekend to End Breast Cancer Walk.

I first did the walk two years ago and much to everyone’s surprise, including my own, I did it. It was an amazing experience – my family were so proud of me, and so was I .

I was all set to hang up my walking shoes, and stop while I was ahead, when last August, one of our team members died. So Chicks Out Walking was resurrected and we donned our shoes again in memory of Val, and loved ones we had lost to cancer.

Because we had all done the walk before, there wasn’t really the same pressure to succeed. We had determined ahead of time that we would go at our own pace, listen to our bodies and ask for help if we needed it.

While I remembered the feeling of exhilaration on crossing the finish line, what I had forgotten was the sense of celebration as we walked around the city. Many streets were lined with well-wishers, offering us snacks, popsicles, badges, candies to give us the strength and energy to carry on. A group of young people, for example, were serving shots of beer – calling out “over here for your beer.” And young children and dogs alike were dressed up in pink to show support.

The four of us raised $10,600 and while we may feel stiff and ache a bit today, I know we all feel it was worth it. Not just because of the money we raised, or the camaraderie we shared but because we could.

Reality Check

This summer I have been working on a book for Opportunity International that will share some of the stories of women they have supported through their micro-credit program.

As I grappled with the day-to-day realities that these women face, I became more and more aware of how much we take for granted in Canada. We have electricity, running water and a roof over our heads. While some of these women have achieved this, it is only through their tenacity, hard work and the support and training from Opportunity International.

We also do not have the double responsibility of the orphans in the community whose parents have died of AIDs. These women who are living in poverty, have given back to their communities by supporting many of the children who would not otherwise receive an education. Would that happen here – regretfully I don’t think so.

There is much to learn from how we work and support the disadvantaged. In another life, I used to run a program for teen mothers who wanted to finish high school and better their lives – for themselves and their children. We developed some strategies that were simple and effective, making the assignments relevant and practical.

Likewise, I can see that what Opportunity International has developed for their clients, would work with all of us. When a loan, as little as $84 is granted, there is a trust group formed – each person takes ownership for their loan, but the bottom line is that the group is responsible for ensuring that each member is successful and fulfils the commitment to repay the loan. Not a bad idea. We all could benefit from peer support and accountability.

When the book is published, I hope you will read it – you will be inspired and hopefully the trials and tribulations you face will be put in perspective!

Just because you feel it, doesn't mean it is true...

What sign of the zodiac are you? I am a Pisces and we are noted for being creative and sensitive. For example, I have a tendency, especially when I am tired, to take stuff personally and over-react when my feelings get hurt. So I was particularly interested to read this article on how to reset your emotional gauge.

Now it isn’t all negative. The good news is that sensitivity is essential for empathy, which allows us to tap into where people are coming from and gives us insights others won’t have.

But here’s some practical tips on how to develop your emotional resilience.

1. Focus on resilience

Don’t dwell on your over-sensitivity as this tends to reinforce it. Instead focus on building your resilience. Celebrate when you don’t over-react.

2. Reality check

“Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean it is true.” Reflect on this when your emotions start to spiral out of control to help put things in perspective.

3. Know the triggers

Know your ‘soft spots’. This will help you identify when you are over-reacting. Where in your life do you feel most insecure? Gradually you will be able to see patterns, and be better able to head-off problems.

4. Take a break

Go for a walk, sleep on it, count to 100. If someone has hurt your feelings, just consider the possibility that their intention might not have been to wound you. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. Empathy is the best way to tackle hypersensitivity.

5. Listen to what others tell you

Step out of the drama so you can hear what’s being said. Ask and listen to what others tell you.

Apparently 15-20 per cent of the population fall under a distinct personality type known as the highly sensitive person (HSP). Take the test at www.hsperson.com and find out more.

Overcoming fears

They say public speaking ranks as high as death in people’s fears. It certainly ranked high in mine.

But no more. Last month I was invited to talk to a group of business women in Orangeville – actually over a 100 women turned up – so more of a crowd – which made it all a bit more nerve-wracking. I’d convinced myself that if I blew it, it wouldn’t matter because I wouldn’t see these women again… when in walked someone I knew, not only that, she’d brought her team to hear me. The pressure was on.

I spent much time debating what I could talk about and decided to follow the maxim that you do best when you talk about what you know. So I talked about the life lessons I’d learned in running Company of Women.

Over the years I’ve painfully witnessed what speakers should not do, and so I was determined to make my talk interesting, entertaining and thought-provoking. Being visual, I used photos as my prompts, as relying on my menopausal memory is not always a good idea.

The end result – it went well. I didn’t get my usual dry mouth, I made them laugh, and cry. And … not only did I survive the experience, I actually enjoyed it. Now that’s a first.

Life is not all black or white

Listening to Marina Nemat describe her life as a thirteen year old – reading Jane Austen and watching Little House on the Prairie, it would be easy to believe that she was living in Canada, not Tehran.

However, in three very short years, her life would change dramatically and at sixteen, when young women here would be planning their prom, Marina found herself imprisoned. Instead of giggling with her girlfriends, she was listening to them being shot. She herself only avoided execution because Ali, a guard, married her at 17.

Perhaps the most poignant message of all is that while it would be all too easy to see her husband and his family as evil, and she was good – It was never that black and white. Her husband himself had been tortured and brought that baggage to the relationship, but his parents welcomed her into the family and were kind, good people. After Ali’s assassination, it was his parents who got her out of prison.

Reunited with her own parents, life was not that simple. They never asked about what happened, and you get the sense that they thought Marina had betrayed them and their faith. But the man she loved had waited for her, and as soon as they could they left Tehran and came to Canada, where she wrote her enthralling book - Prisoner of Tehran.

Letting Go

After 23 years in our current home, we are moving. Now I am a bit of a pack rat. I have kept a copy of every report I have ever written since 1981, along with files on every board or committee I ever served on… all of which goes to say, we were knee-deep in paper. And then there’s my collection of books – on every subject known to man.

My daughter ordered a dumpster for me. Subtle eh. Suggesting that perhaps given the move is looming up, I might like to start sorting through my collection of files, reports and memorabilia.

At first I methodically opened up each file, checking its contents. Needless to say, as the day progressed, I got more brutal and literally tossed the lot. It was very freeing to chuck it all into the dumpster. I was saying goodbye to a life I don’t live any more.

I don’t need to keep these files as a reference point for future projects, because there aren’t going to be any. My days as a consultant are over. I have been running Company of Women for five years now – and this is my future, but I needed to let go of the past.

However, as I ploughed through all the paper, one fact struck me - I’ve done a lot in my life. I feel very fortunate to have worked on some exciting projects, and when I think about all the programs and services that have come to fruition, I feel a sense of pride.

They say that in order to make room for new things in your life, you first have to get rid of the baggage that is taking up space. But you know for now, I just want to enjoy my clutter-free zone.

We all need role models

Last week I had the distinct honour of having breakfast with Cora Tsouflidou, founder of Cora’s Breakfast and Lunch.

Now this is one busy lady, with over 95 franchises across Canada, and more on the way, yet she offered to meet a small group of women for breakfast We had a draw and ten lucky women won this opportunity to spend quality time with this successful woman entrepreneur. It was an eclectic group but that made it all the richer.

Each woman had to introduce herself and ask a question of Cora. Without fail, she intuitively got to the root of the issue for the person. She didn’t mince her words, but was always respectful with her advice. It was an emotional gathering, tears were shed and everyone left touched by the experience and in awe of Cora’s wisdom and generosity of spirit.

Cora has so much wisdom and insights into people, business and what is important in life. It was wonderful to see her in action, as she mentored the women in the group, always with humour and with a caring heart.

We all need role models in our life, Cora has become mine.

Trust your instincts

When you start something new, you never really know what you don’t know.

As novices to the publishing industry, Chris and I were excited to learn that there were a couple of magazine conferences being held in Toronto last week. Not knowing which was the best one to attend, we signed up for both – taking a few workshops at each.

And we learned a lot. I even picked up some of the jargon.

But I think the best lesson was realizing that whether we knew it or not, intuitively we’ve being doing all the right things. It’s kind of reassuring to discover you actually know more than you think, and that when you know your reader, you’re more than half way there.

So many of the presenters were encouraging the magazines to launch websites and hold events to support their publication. I guess we have done it the other way round – with our magazine being the latest addition to our menu of services.

The second thing I observed is that there is a dire need for training on how to present an interesting workshop. Most of the presenters really knew their stuff, but relied way too heavily on their power point – some even reading out loud what was on the screen before us! Boring. Clearly they had never heard about how adults learn. So all you trainers out there – take note – here’s a potential training gig.

Last but no means least, in being out of the office for three days, I discovered that Company of Women can run very well without me. Kudos to Meg and Leah.

So I guess the message is that we shouldn’t second-guess ourselves, we know more than we think, and we should trust our instincts.

Young, Savvy and Successful..

That pretty well sums up our panel of young women entrepreneurs.

Take the Lees twins who, with no knowledge of the cosmetic industry, have successfully launched Balmshell – a lipgloss - that was given out at the Oscars and is sold in North America and Europe. One of their biggest challenges was being taken seriously. Being blonde, attractive and young was not always a business asset. But no one can question their business acumen now. When asked what next … the world!

Even at 15, Michelle Planche had a business. She knew from the start that she was destined to be an entrepreneur. Today, she has a successful event planning business which she started while in university – organizing fashion shows, etc… One of her biggest challenges has been recruiting and retaining the right staff, and that’s important because she wants to expand from her current two offices to other locations.

At 25, Carisa Reiniger has an amazing track record, with four offices and sixteen staff. Her business Silver Lining has undergone rapid growth, and she’s had to step back and look at what she wanted out of it. She’d come to realize that her biggest problem was herself - that she was getting in her own way. She’s decided that whatever happens, she needs to get back to what she’s good at, and what she enjoys, because without the passion, it wasn’t going to work for her.

Three very different stories, but the common thread was their passion for what they are doing. We could all learn a lot from these young women because clearly they are on the right track.

MOMENT OF FAME

With the recent Toronto Star article on Company of Women, we have received numerous calls, enquiries and emails. All of which is exciting as more women discover us, and better still, decide to join or attend an event to check us out.

One such call was from a TV producer and while we played telephone tag for several days, I was busy fantasizing myself on some show, or better still hosting one! I ‘d been discovered. This was my moment of fame.

When we did connect, she indeed had a morning TV show and a section on Empowering Women for which she thought I would make an ideal guest. Sounds good. And the show was taped in Florida. Sounds even better. The guests were expected to pay their travel costs. No problem. I have lots of air miles banked away.

But… and here comes the clincher … I would have to pay $11,000 US for the pleasure of this experience. At this point in the conversation, as if on cue, my two dogs started barking loudly - the joys of working from home! Needless to say, I declined the offer and she was probably relieved, because perhaps I wasn’t the high-flying business tycoon she thought I was.

What’s that expression – if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Is this how it works in the US, that you pay to be on shows? Maybe I am naïve, but whatever happened to being chosen because you have something worthwhile to say or an inspiring story to tell.

Ah well. When Oprah calls, I’ll just have to make sure the dogs are out!