Girlfriend power

It is incredible just how much stuff you accumulate in 28 years.  Before we even put the house up for sale, I was clearing out; being brutal I thought.  But now surrounded by boxes, clearly not brutal enough.

 But before we totally dismantled the house, I wanted to have one last party with my girlfriends and this Tuesday we gathered together, reminiscing about parties of the past – like my “I’m not 50 party”    held the day before my 50^th birthday when some of my older friends served up “advice from the crones.”    

Ten years later, I had a “I’m not 60” dinner party and then there’s the surprise party my daughter held for me after my cancer treatments.  There she had assorted photos posted to the walls, which

appeared to have been selected based on the criteria that only bad photos of me could apply.

Recently I was asked why I like spending time with girlfriends, and my response was because we have a good laugh, and we all know that laughter is good for you. 

But actually it is more than that,  we share the ups and downs in our lives with each other, often nodding in agreement having experienced the same thing or pitching in to help when needed.  Men would likely be shocked if they knew exactly what we do share with each other, but the power of intimacy and the opportunity to just be yourself, is very empowering.J

But on Tuesday, it was old and new friends coming together, some meeting each other for the first time, others already connected to one another. It struck me then that I am so lucky to have such bright, fun women in my life.

Although I’d become friends with them through different jobs, volunteer work or activities, and we covered a wide age-span, the women just clicked and we had lively discussions from food, travel, meditation, to the state of education in Canada and porn.   You name it, we had opinions on it.

The sad thing is, we don’t do this often enough.  We wait for a special occasion or in my case, a move, to come together and that’s too bad, because it is those relationships that carry you through the hard times, lightening the load and creating fun in your life.

So cheers ladies.  Let’s do this again.  Soon.  Maybe when I’ve unpacked all the boxes at the farm, we can celebrate my living full time in the country.  I am sure between us we can come up with an excuse to party.

Letting Go

After 23 years in our current home, we are moving. Now I am a bit of a pack rat. I have kept a copy of every report I have ever written since 1981, along with files on every board or committee I ever served on… all of which goes to say, we were knee-deep in paper. And then there’s my collection of books – on every subject known to man.

My daughter ordered a dumpster for me. Subtle eh. Suggesting that perhaps given the move is looming up, I might like to start sorting through my collection of files, reports and memorabilia.

At first I methodically opened up each file, checking its contents. Needless to say, as the day progressed, I got more brutal and literally tossed the lot. It was very freeing to chuck it all into the dumpster. I was saying goodbye to a life I don’t live any more.

I don’t need to keep these files as a reference point for future projects, because there aren’t going to be any. My days as a consultant are over. I have been running Company of Women for five years now – and this is my future, but I needed to let go of the past.

However, as I ploughed through all the paper, one fact struck me - I’ve done a lot in my life. I feel very fortunate to have worked on some exciting projects, and when I think about all the programs and services that have come to fruition, I feel a sense of pride.

They say that in order to make room for new things in your life, you first have to get rid of the baggage that is taking up space. But you know for now, I just want to enjoy my clutter-free zone.