Grow yourself first

What does growth mean to you?  That was a question I was asked at a recent networking event when each of us had to share what growth looked like for us.

As we went round the table everyone was referring to growth in terms of number of customers, increased revenue or deeper, newer programming to offer to clients.  Until it was my turn.

Perhaps it is indicative of my age and stage in my business, but my answer was totally different and actually I think it made the women pause and reflect on what I was saying. 

Growth for me right now is focused on personal growth, of learning new skills and continuously growing as a person, a business owner and a business leader.  I am not sure we can separate who we are from what we do, much as we might like to.

I would argue that when we learn, we bring increased potential to our business, because we are personally moving forward, changing and evolving.  Knowledge is power.  And learning is a lifelong experience and some of its lessons we learn the hard wayJ

We all learn differently.  For some it is reading a book or watching a video, while for others it is attending a workshop or conference, and then there are those of us who are hands-on learners.  Personally I dabble in all learning styles, depending on what I want to learn.

Reading a manual for example is not helpful to me.  Getting down and dirty and trying something out, is how I learn technical information. In this instance, I am a hands-on learner.

What I enjoy most is attending conferences.   I value the face-to-face contact, hearing inspiring speakers and connecting with the other women in attendance.  The key however, is to take away and implement what you have learned.  Not easy when you have a business to run. It is one of the reasons we provide notebooks at our conferences – we want you to keep a record of what you have learned and make a commitment to implement at least one new idea when you get back to the office. Just one.

It is also crucial to hear from speakers who make their talk interesting, informative and jam-packed with practical tips and material.  Too often sadly it can be what I call “death by power point.”  Having been to my fair share of conferences, and organized even more, the day has to flow and provide information to meet the needs of our different learning styles.  Sitting in one spot being lectured at all day, for example, is not my idea of fun, or a positive learning experience.

Just like plants, we need watering and nourishing, if we are to continue to blossom and grow. So I encourage you to invest in your learning.  Your growth can only help your business grow as well.  When you go to a powerful conference, you leave motivated, with some new skills in your business toolbox and useful connections to help you. Take the time.  Invest in yourself.  We all know you are worth it. 

Canada geese show us the way

A few weeks ago out of our back window I watched a gaggle of Canadian geese gather in our field.  There had to be at least 30 of them.  Clearly a networking meeting!  Word was out – this was a happening event.

As they moved from one spot to the other, one led the way, and they walked single file into the next field.  But two were left behind, still sitting in the snow all curled up.  I watched anxiously, were they OK?

Sure enough, they were.  And one went back to collect the other, and somewhat late, they followed the path to where the others were.  There they gathered, nibbled on our corn which has still to be harvested, and prepared for the next move.

By this time, they had broken up into smaller groups – some taking off in flight, some staying put, and others resting. Fast forward to this morning, and just two are resting in the field – maybe the same tardy pair from the day before. Clearly they’ve decided being part of a group is not for them.

Seems to me that they are just like a networking group.  They follow a leader who shows the way, no one is left behind but may just be slower to catch on, and then they find ones who they feel more connected to and hang around with them.  Or they decide that the group is just not their thing.

As a group they sure made enough noise – attracting attention to themselves and maybe that is what we need to do too.  With International Women’s Day just behind us, perhaps we need to speak up about what we need to lead a fulfilled life – one where we are not overwhelmed by what is expected of us, by others and by ourselves.

Be bold. Be brave. Belong.

That’s the theme of our conference this year and I believe the message will resonate with you, because after all as small business owners, at different stages of your business, you have had to be bold and brave to enter and survive in the world of entrepreneurship.

Our speakers Shanna McFarlane and Nadja Piatka are trailblazers and our role models, having paved their way to become super successful in their business ventures. They will be sharing their inspiring journeys with us.

The courage panel this year is made up of women who have demonstrated their bravery in different ways – finding resilience in a life threatening situation; throwing her all (financially) to follow her business dream and overcoming personal challenges after an accident.  In each instance, their fortitude and tenacity to stay the course, no matter what, is to be applauded.

As for the “belong” – that’s you.   As women business owners we’ve created our own “club” – the Company of Women community.  We are there for each other, and we welcome you to come, join in and belong. You don’t have to be alone with you own. 

Finally let’s just say you will really be connected and belong together by the end of the dayJ

Check out the website http://www.journey2success.ca  Early bird rates are available until April 1^st.

Celebrate our women leaders

It is late.  It has been a busy week and I am exhausted.  Yet here I am, not able to sleep, unable to turn off the brain with ideas bubbling to the surface.   

So I am sitting at the computer trying to capture my thoughts and lessons from International Women’s Week.  Like every year at this time, there are a flurry of events to celebrate the occasion, and it is an opportunity to reflect on how far we have come and how far we still need to go. 

I had the pleasure of listening to two amazing women – Barb Stegemann and Fay Chapple.  And what struck me as I reflect on their keynote presentations, is that the trigger to their success was a disastrous life event that propelled them into action, and changed not only their lives, but had far reaching impact on others around the world.

I applaud their optimism and ability to turn a tragedy into a triumph. They inspire you to look beyond yourself, to step out of your comfort zone and aim for the stars.   Fay’s advice, for example, to take risks and to stretch yourself, truly resonated with me.  As she asked, what’s the worst that can happen?   While Barb readily acknowledged that not everyone will like your idea and that’s OK, but that doesn’t mean it is a bad idea and we need to trust our instinct and intuition and move on.

Rather than getting caught up in a pity party or just accepting what had happened as a done deal, both women were pragmatic and sought to find answers; to find some meaning in what had happened. In fact, Barb encouraged us to accept the challenges in our lives as a gift.

With their business savvy, their energy and tenacity, there is no question in my mind that they will achieve greatly and continue to make a difference in the lives of others.  We need more women leaders like them. We need young women to hear their stories, so they see  role models paving the way on their behalf. We need to step up ourselves and become who we are meant to be.  We owe that to ourselves.

I salute Barb and Fay and all the other women in the world who are striving to make it a better place. 

Happy International Women’s Day. 

Step back and start over

How do you make your coffee?  We have a Bodum, but sometimes no matter what you do, the plunger sticks stubbornly at the top refusing to go down and press the coffee grains. 

What I have discovered is that if you remove the plunger all together and start over, it magically goes down, no problem and voilà you have a great cup of coffee.

I wonder if this is what we need to do with our businesses sometimes?  We start a new project, all excited, but nothing, nothing seems to be going right.  Perhaps what we need to do, is step back, take ourselves out of the equation, rethink, and start over again.

Perhaps it is timing, or maybe not the right people on the bus with you, or have you been pressured in this direction by someone else, and it’s not really what you want to do? Whatever the reason, forging ahead is not the answer – and in the case of the coffee pot, you’d likely break it and create a right mess to boot.

So when you are faced with some roadblocks, maybe look at why and at what the universe is trying to tell you, before trying to catapult yourself over them, because maybe, just maybe, you weren’t supposed to go in that direction at all.

In searching for my platform, I found myself again

These days everyone talks about having a platform.  What’s your platform?   I have to say I’ve been struggling with mine.

One friend suggested I think about what people most thank me for which did help narrow it down… a bit.  Usually I get thanked for the introductions I have helped people make, the connections established or just for what I offer at Company of Women and sometimes the support and encouragement I have given a would-be entrepreneur.

“Networking” was the conclusion at the end of this conversation, but you know, that just didn’t sit with me.  Partly because unfortunately networking still has a negative connotation and is frequently done badly.  Did I really want to be associated with this?  I don’t think so.

I needed to spend more time noodling that one.  Then I realized what I do, and what I have been doing all my career – is build community – be it mothers, teen mothers, abused women or entrepreneurs.  That’s my platform, community builder.

Or so I thought.  It is strange how the universe will provide the answers, if you are willing to listen and are alert to the messages.  In an interesting conversation with a woman from Atlanta, we started to talk about net-weaving, a word that really resonated with me.

In fact, when I first started Company of Women eleven years ago, I intentionally used tapestries in my business card, on the website and our promotional material.  I felt it symbolized what I wanted Company of Women to be – the intertwined threads making a beautiful fabric, representing how when we weave our threads together, we make a much stronger fabric.   Even our newsletter was called Tapestries, with the tagline of weaving wisdom and warmth into the lives of women…

Now I know some of you may be thinking P U L E E Z E – shoot me now, but you know what it worked back then and I still think it works now. Everyone wants to belong to something greater than themselves.

Now after a few years we got rid of the tapestries, albeit gradually, and probably not fast enough for my webmasters who I suspect thought it was, correction I was, over the top.

Reflecting back on all this, made me remember that just prior to starting Company of Women I was in California where I found and bought a pin and poem called the Weaver Woman. At the time I thought it was a good omen, given the journey I was about to embark on.

Despite our recent move, I was able to find it – no mean feat I tell you, but suddenly I feel I have come home. Isn’t it strange how we think we have moved on, evolved and yet in my case gone full circle back to who I was meant to be, and probably always have been, but I just didn’t know it. 

Here is the poem.  What do you think – does it resonate with you?

Weaver Woman

Wise weaver woman weaves, the fabric of life

A thread for each creature, a thread for each plant

A thread for the elements, that enliven the dance

A thread for spirit, a thread for sharing

A thread for balance, a thread for caring.

Cycles shape the pattern from death to rebirth

She is weaving a fabric of life for Earth

So precious – so fragile – so easily torn

So connected is all of life, all belong.

Let us help her to weave it, not tear it apart

With our choices, our voices, our actions, our heart.

Lela Florel

Close encounter with "death"

Have you ever heard of "the beach ball of death?"  Sounds serious doesn't it?

Well that has been my week.  My computer has been a bit of a prima donna for a while now, only allowing certain emails to join us, but this week, she said "enough."

Apparently when you get that colourful little ball twirling incessantly on the screen, it means your hard drive is close to full, and it cannot take another file, email or document.  Who knew?

Well I do now.  In fact, there have been times this week - a speaker cancelling and a venue bumping us - plus the usual barrage of emails, that I've felt my hard drive can't take too much more either. Actually bouncing a beach ball somewhere in the sun has much more appeal than sweating it out in my home office.

So - tomorrow the computer goes to get fixed, and I am going to treat myself to a reflexology session.  Seems to me that my computer and I are on similar paths, and it's time to stop, take a break and start afresh next week.

As for the beach ball, I get to play with one for real in March.  In 34 days, not that I am counting. And no, the computer is not coming with me.

Forget Year of the Horse. It is Year of Me

 

Why is it as women that we are prone to putting our own needs last?  Is it our childhood upbringing or just part of our DNA as women.

With the start of a new year, I’ve been asking women what they want for themselves this year.  Given I work mainly with small business owners, I expected to hear about growth plans or how they were going to delegate more, or do business differently. 

But no, the overwhelming response has been the wish to transfer the focus from others to themselves.  Forget Year of the Horse, this, according to the women, is the Year of Me.  Tired of juggling all the tasks on their lists, trying to please everyone; they have decided to please themselves.

And good for them.  However, old habits are hard to break and our families and staff are used to us being “on call.”  It may therefore have to be a gradual process, rather than switching overnight to being “all about you.”   What you don’t want is to go too far the other way and become self-absorbed.  That doesn’t work either and will create friction   at work or at home and more likely than not, sabotage your plans for fun.

As one woman suggested, make a list of all that irritates you, tasks you would like to delegate to someone else, or eliminate all together. Just because it has always been done, and by you, doesn’t mean it always will be.  Letting go of perfection and the need to have it done your way, will free up your time and energy. 

Part of the trick, I think, is to schedule time -  for yourself – start with just a few hours a week to do something just for you like getting your hair cut, meeting friends for coffee or dinner; or pursuing that hobby that you loved but have neglected.  Don’t have any hobbies?  Reflect back to what you enjoyed doing as a child.

For me it is always sitting with a good book where I can escape and forget about where I am and what I have to do.  I love mysteries and I think in another life, I’d make a good detective.  So what works for you?

One of the challenges is getting over your guilt.  We are so programmed to be doing stuff for everyone else, that sitting down, with our feet up reading a book seems decadent and wrong.  But as someone who is a beginner at this, trust me you can get over it, and feel so refreshed as a result. 

Just like the hamster on the treadmill, going round and round.  Break the cycle.  Stop, open the door and get out. Even if you won’t do it for yourself, think of your children.  You are a role model of how it works, or not. Show your daughters that it’s OK to take time for yourself.  Let your sons know that they can’t expect their partners to always be on call and need to respect their need for space, for time alone.

You work hard and are entitled to a break. So cut yourself some slack, step out and make a date with yourself.  You’ll find you are in good company.