Checking out

I don’t know about you, but it is only when I leave my office.  In fact, leave the country and my cell phone and all electronics behind, that I really get to switch off.

Life without my business.  Hard to imagine but it is important to do, because sometimes in our hectic life as business owner, we lose track of who we are and can become too caught up in the day-to-day nuances of running our business.

It will still be there when I get back.  But I will return a different person.  Hopefully more mellow and relaxed about stuff, and my memory more in tact.  I’ve noticed lately that my hard drive must be full as I’ve been getting dates wrong or forgetting stuff.  A definite sign that it’s time to reboot and rediscover the real Anne Day.

It’s actually good to experience a few weeks without the business in the background, because there will come a day, when I won’t be the business owner and if all my identity and sense of worth is tied up in it, it doesn’t bode well for the years ahead.

And I have lots I want to do, including the two books I need to finish this summer. But somehow that is different.   I like projects like that where there is a beginning, a middle and an end.

But right now, I am at the beginning.  The beginning of a few weeks of just resting up, visiting with friends, enjoying the beautiful scenery and finding peace as the waves lash to the shore.  Sounds pretty good doesn’t it?  I’ll let you know.

Have a wonderful July.

Forget Year of the Horse. It is Year of Me

 

Why is it as women that we are prone to putting our own needs last?  Is it our childhood upbringing or just part of our DNA as women.

With the start of a new year, I’ve been asking women what they want for themselves this year.  Given I work mainly with small business owners, I expected to hear about growth plans or how they were going to delegate more, or do business differently. 

But no, the overwhelming response has been the wish to transfer the focus from others to themselves.  Forget Year of the Horse, this, according to the women, is the Year of Me.  Tired of juggling all the tasks on their lists, trying to please everyone; they have decided to please themselves.

And good for them.  However, old habits are hard to break and our families and staff are used to us being “on call.”  It may therefore have to be a gradual process, rather than switching overnight to being “all about you.”   What you don’t want is to go too far the other way and become self-absorbed.  That doesn’t work either and will create friction   at work or at home and more likely than not, sabotage your plans for fun.

As one woman suggested, make a list of all that irritates you, tasks you would like to delegate to someone else, or eliminate all together. Just because it has always been done, and by you, doesn’t mean it always will be.  Letting go of perfection and the need to have it done your way, will free up your time and energy. 

Part of the trick, I think, is to schedule time -  for yourself – start with just a few hours a week to do something just for you like getting your hair cut, meeting friends for coffee or dinner; or pursuing that hobby that you loved but have neglected.  Don’t have any hobbies?  Reflect back to what you enjoyed doing as a child.

For me it is always sitting with a good book where I can escape and forget about where I am and what I have to do.  I love mysteries and I think in another life, I’d make a good detective.  So what works for you?

One of the challenges is getting over your guilt.  We are so programmed to be doing stuff for everyone else, that sitting down, with our feet up reading a book seems decadent and wrong.  But as someone who is a beginner at this, trust me you can get over it, and feel so refreshed as a result. 

Just like the hamster on the treadmill, going round and round.  Break the cycle.  Stop, open the door and get out. Even if you won’t do it for yourself, think of your children.  You are a role model of how it works, or not. Show your daughters that it’s OK to take time for yourself.  Let your sons know that they can’t expect their partners to always be on call and need to respect their need for space, for time alone.

You work hard and are entitled to a break. So cut yourself some slack, step out and make a date with yourself.  You’ll find you are in good company.