Thumbs Up

I have a confession to make – I am container-challenged.

It’s a recent phenomenon, but I know it's not going to get better, only worse.

And it is not selective – cans, bottle tops, lids, jars of jelly – you name it, I have trouble opening it.

Why? One of the joys of aging, I guess, is that I now have arthritis in my thumbs. Let me tell you – you don’t realize what you use and need your thumbs for, until it becomes hard to use them – the button on the electric tooth brush, the can opener, even flushing the toilet.

So for Mother’s Day this year my kids bought me every gadget known to man to help me open those elusive jars and cans. The dog is sure happy – his meals are looking up again.

And now those screw top wine b bottles are opened with a quick twist.

So cheers! I am giving these gadgets the quick thumbs up.

Check Your Motives Before You Write

In a recent blog, Seth Godin advocated keeping our writing simple. So often he points out, people take forever to get to the point, use long words and jargon and are frankly quite boring.

I’ve often found so much depends on the purpose of the writing. Is it to educate and inform the reader? Or is it more about you, and the opportunity to show off your knowledge?

Your reason for writing will impact the way you write. When you are genuinely trying to get a point across, or hopefully educate the reader, then there’s less jargon and the wording is simple. When it’s all about you, and this opportunity to showcase your “stuff,” people tend to trot out their most elaborate vocabularly, try to sound superior with their use of jargon and are often long-winded, reluctant to give up the “written” stage.

Years ago when I was working as a consultant I was asked to synthesize several lengthy research documents into ten pages that would convey the research findings in layman terms to a group of school trustees. I did it but not without some challenges from one person on the committee. She wanted some of her statistical data included but from my perspective it didn’t add to the knowledge of the readers, and in fact could have confused them as it introduced another tangent to an already complex topic.

Truth was she wanted it included because it highlighted her expertise, not because it would add to the learning. Our ego is a funny thing and it can sometimes get in the way of doing what’s right; of forgetting about the reader and putting ourselves first instead.

As an editor I often come up against the writer’s ego, and sometimes the writer can’t take the objective observations about their piece, forgetting that my goal is to make an article understood and valued by the reader.

Contrary to their belief, it is not all about them. It’s not personal. It’s about getting the point across succinctly and in an interesting way that will hold the readers’ attention.

So next time you have to write something, ask yourself why am I doing this? Your answer may shape what you produce and when it is more about the reader, and less about you, you’ll find the right words.

Stiffer Rules Around Spam

Are you ready for the new Canadian Anti-Spam Legislation (CASL) Bill C28 which will be enforced later this year? This law requires express consent for most commercial-related messages. It also requires that you inform consumers about how personal identifiable information such as an email address will be used.

And ignore the law at your peril, because the fines are steep, with a potential penalty of $1 million for individuals and $10 million per business per day. With C-28, the burden of proof is on the sender and marketers must clearly inform consumers about what exactly they are opting in to and you need to articulate your privacy policies.

Here are a few steps you can take now to get ready for when the law is enforced.

• Outsource your direct e-mail marketing efforts to a reputable e-mail sending service like Constant Contact
• Clean up your mailing lists.
• Get consent from people now.
• Avoid renting or buying lists.
• Adopt e-mail best practices based on permission-based marketing.
• Have an opt-out option on your e-mail marketing

A word of caution, picking up a business card from a display at an event, and then adding the person to your email list, does not constitute permission-based marketing. If the person handed you the card, maybe, but if they don’t remember you, never met you at the actual event, you run the risk of your email being considered spam and that could be a costly error on your part.

Fine Line - Lessons from News of the World

We were in the UK when the demise of the News of the World newspaper occurred. We even purchased the last issue which highlighted the stories they'd run in their long history as a newspaper. You know, much as I disapprove strongly of the hacking and the strategies they used to get a lead on a news breaking story, they actually had been responsible for exposing a fair number of crimes and scams over the years. It is too bad they crossed the line.

Because, it is a fine line between investigative journalism and intruding in people’s privacy, particularly at a low point in their lives when they’d tragically just lost someone dear to them. Now that is both criminal and inhumane.

It speaks to the overpowering ambition of some people/organizations where getting the story and the “supposed” kudos for being the first to reveal all, takes over from decent, human behaviour. I wonder if the journalists involved ever questioned themselves, or chose to ignore their gut feeling that what they were doing was wrong. To them, the means justified the end result.

In business we also face decisions about which path to take to realize our goals. My advice, listen to your gut. Don’t do something where someone will get hurt, because at the end of the day, the person most damaged will be yourself and your reputation, and that can be hard to repair.

Writing My Way To Success

On Tuesday as editor of the Puslinch Pioneer, I had the pleasure of presenting the Pioneer’s award to a young girl at the local school.

It took me back to when I was in high school and was editor of the school newsletter. Little did I know back then that I would end up with several careers where strong writing skills were a requirement.

First it was funding proposals to get funding for the charities that I worked for; and then it was writing a parenting column for the local newspaper. Later I became editor of a national parenting magazine.

During my stint at government, I wrote briefing notes for politicians and a successful $13 million cabinet submission to fund women’s programs. While in my consulting practice, I often wrote lengthy reports with recommendations on service delivery or I would be hired to take a long document and synthesize the main concepts and translate it into terms that the layperson would understand.

I list all this because it just shows that our skills are transferable and my writing skills took me from being a fundraiser to a funder; from being a columnist to being an editor and from being a consultant to being a marketer; and from being a publisher to writing a book. The bottom line is that my writing skills were my entry into a diverse world where those skills were not just required, but valued.

So often I look at young people and they seem paralyzed by fear about making the wrong career decision, when in reality, if they have an employable skill set, they can find work in many industries. It is honing those skills that will bring them a career that is interesting and worthwhile.

As parents we need to help our children discover their talents, because, while it may not always be that obvious, all of us come to this world with our own unique set of skills, attitudes and talents. It is uncovering their passions that will help them to find their way.

The Battle of the Bulging Inbox

It has been a month now since I cleaned up my act – email wise – and I am proud to say that I am still managing the flow of emails. In fact I have become quite competitive about it – with myself and others in the office, and have taken to bragging about how few emails remain in my inbox.

Guess I’ve become a bit like the former smoker – nothing worse – with little tolerance for others who have not seen the light and changed their ways. But you have to reach rock bottom (6,500 emails did it for me) to recognize that something has to change.

However, the real test will be when I get back from vacation. Two weeks away and I will have to navigate my way through hundreds of emails. Having shed the weight of all these emails, I am determined, like the weight-watcher, to stick with it, because it is freeing and I feel tons lighter with all those emails gone. Forever.

It's a numbers game

Last week’s Fifth Annual Journey 2 Success Conference seemed to be all about numbers in a way. First it was a sold-out event, with over 208 women participating which thrilled us, as the conference is expensive to put on and so every year we take the risk and just pray we will get the numbers.

Our first speaker, Dr. Elaine Dembe, spoke about the ten characteristics of resilient people, while Dianne Buckner, host of Dragons’ Den, shared her observations on the top ten traits of successful entrepreneurs and we ended the day discussing the eight tenets of leaders.

Sandwiched in between, we heard from a panel with Julia Hanna, a businesswoman who has owned four successful restaurants, all of which are still running in an industry where 90 percent close in the first year.

Nadja Piatka, on the other hand, built her food manufacturing business, as she says herself on adversity, with only $500; baking muffins in her kitchen. Today she has a multi-million business selling her products to McDonald's and Subway.

Our third panelist, Lesley Andrew had also beat the odds, turning her learning challenges into a successful creative career, and when she sang It’s a Wonderful World in her beautiful soprano voice, there was hardly a dry eye in the room.

Back in school many of us may have struggled with math. Today likely many people have the same quandary with social media. What’s Twitter? How do I link-in? Isn’t Facebook just for young people? With only thirty minutes, Lisa Kember was able to give us a quick overview with some great tips, but it still raised more questions than answers for newbies in the crowd.

So when I announced that we were launching Techie Tuesdays in the fall, when the women can learn hands-on, there was a lot of interest in the crowd. Just like math, it’s important we grasp social media because it is the way of the future. And talking of numbers, the good news is that the price is right – most of it is free.

No matter what your business is – it truly is a numbers game. Number of customers, how much money you have invested in your business, your cash flow, and in our case, numbers of bums in seats. It is all a risk, but when you know your numbers, when you pay attention to them, you stand a better chance of succeeding.

The date for our next conference has some interesting numbers too – June 12, 2012 - a date to remember. Hope you will join us.

Please Be Seated

There’s been a real buzz this week about our conference and with the flurry of last minute registrations, it’s clear that women really want to be there. And they are coming from all over the province from Sault Ste Marie, Haliburton, Peterborough to Ottawa.

This is our fifth conference and I have to say everything has just fallen into place. We know what we are doing, have a system in place and it has, touch wood, gone like clockwork. Of course, you can never tell what can happen the day of the event but by that stage it is more a case of going with the flow and making it work.

As I sat with the seating plan, trying to make sure that with each change in seating (there are three), no one was sitting with someone they had already met, I felt like the wedding planner. I am not sure people realize how much planning and consideration goes into making events like weddings and conferences work so everyone gets the most out of the experience.

I used to do the seating plan for the annual ATHENA Gala, and would spend hours trying to make sure I’d grouped people appropriately. Now that was often for 400 people and I have to confess towards the end, I would start to question why I was making such an effort. Then I would hear back from people that their table was special, and it seemed all worthwhile.

Same with the conference. I started off trying to assign people to groups where I thought there might be some synergy, but the closer we got to midnight, the more I began to rationalize to myself that someone was in that group because they were meant to be, nothing to do with my engineering the connections. After all, it’s up to every participant to make the most of the experience.

So three more sleeps and it will be all over for another year. I always find myself on a downer the day afterwards. It is such an anticlimax – months of work and preparation and it is over in a flash. But hopefully the knowledge, learning and connections the women gain through the conference will carry on for months to come.

Stretching the Truth

There are some business lessons to be learned from the two recent cases of people who stretched the truth on their use of the HOV lane.

First there was the pregnant woman who claimed that there were two passengers – herself and her baby. She was certainly sort of telling the truth, but it was a very generous interpretation of the rule. The second case was much more devious and the man was charged. What did he do? He had a blown-up, dressed doll in the car. To me this was a blatant attempt to beat the system. He just wanted to reach his destination faster.

But it didn’t really pan out the way he expected I am sure. When we try to take short cuts, stretch the truth or exaggerate about what we have achieved or can do, we run the risk of getting caught out and bringing discredit to our reputation. Honesty is the best policy.

In business, I’ve met people who oversell what their product can do, or what benefit they can bring to an organization. Plus you never know who knows who. I never forget reading a resume in which the person claimed to be the lead in a certain project. She wasn’t to know that I would be reading her resume but as the person who HAD been in charge of the project, I could quickly attest that this wasn’t true, which caused us all to question what else was false or a stretch of the truth.

The English language is a persuasive tool that can be used to mislead others. We hear what we want to hear, rather than the actual truth. Over the years I have been nominated numerous times for the Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year award. When you say it quickly, it might sound as if I actually won it, but I never have. It is those sorts of interpretations which yes, can work in your favour but you have to be careful.

When you exaggerate about what you do, or give off a false air of self-confidence, it can come back to bite you. I’ve noticed that I will chatter on about my accomplishments when I am feeling insecure or feel the need to prove myself, but afterwards I regret it. I now really try to catch myself before I get caught up in that cycle of insecurity.

Having said that I am a big component of faking it until you make it – but it has to be done with honesty, not by totally misleading the other person.

Yup, honesty is the best policy. Be who you are, warts and all. People will respect you for your authenticity. Taking short cuts doesn’t always mean that you reach your destination faster. Sometimes it can derail your plans.

BLITZING MY INBOX

How many email are lingering in your inbox? That many? If I had to answer that question at the beginning of the week, my answer would have been 6,500. Yes – six-thousand-five-hundred. Now ask how many I have? Ten – one-zero.

It took me all day. I closed my office door and hunkered down to sort through them all. Many were deleted, others transferred to the appropriate folder and some were replied to, with great apologies for the delay.

Every year around this time, I declare war on my inbox, but I can honestly say this is the first time I have systematically worked my way through them all. One year I started off, grew impatient and just deleted them all. Error. A step I later regretted when I was looking for a crucial email.

So this time I am literally starting with a clean slate. How long do you give me to keep this up? My challenge is I get hundreds of emails a day, so it is hard to keep on top of it all. But I am competitive with myself so maybe this time it will work.

And if you haven’t heard back from me – don’t worry – you are on the list!

WE CAN DO IT - WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS

Bringing a group of powerful, strong women together is always exciting. The fact that they all owned their business, were successful and leaders in their own right, made the meeting even more dynamic and you could feel the energy in the room.

On Thursday, the National Task Force on Women’s Business Growth held its fourth roundtable – this time in Toronto. Three roundtables had already taken place across Canada, and I suspect the conversations were similar.

While more and more women are starting their businesses, the growth of their ventures is slower to their male counterparts. Why is that? And more to the point, what can we do to change this situation? These were the topics under discussion at the roundtable.

We had sixty-four women in attendance, representing all types of businesses. Following a report on the latest research, a panel presentation from three successful entrepreneurs, the women were divided into groups to look at supplier diversity and procurement; access to capital; adoption of technology and training needs.

As the facilitators from each group reported back, you could see some common threads. First women needed to be more confident in their abilities to succeed and to actively seek out opportunities to grow their businesses, and it was identified that role models and mentors were needed who could show the way.

Another frequent observation was a lack of financial literacy which hindered growth. As a result, accessing capital became a scary prospect and one that women often chose not to pursue.

We actually had three groups of women from the IT sector which was gratifying to see as so often they are striving to get ahead in a male-dominated industry and they came up with all sorts of innovative strategies to keep us connected and supporting one another.

Different mechanisms and delivery options were considered in terms of training so as to fit into the busy schedule of women business owners and it was recognized that women business owners often seemed reluctant to invest in themselves.

And talking of time, we ran out of it. We’d been together for four hours and the meeting ended on the cusp of exploring solutions that could help and support women business owners. But this was just the beginning, and having the women all in one room to start the dialogue gave credibility to the need for change and the desire for it to happen.

Stay tuned.

STAY STATIC AT YOUR PERIL

I’ve just been watching a show about a bakery that needs to change - its products to meet the needs of their clients and the layout of the store so it becomes contemporary and attracts younger shoppers.

The owner is really set in her ways and despite the expert’s advice and a tour of successful bakery, is digging her heels in because she doesn’t want to change what she is doing. Actually she is not listening – to her customers or to the expert they’ve called in to save her bakery.

No one says change is easy but if we stay complacent or set in our ways, then the outcome is not likely to be positive. As Einstein says “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

After doing a trial run with different breads, the owner has to acknowledge that there was lots of interest in the new, healthier types of bread. However, while she has agreed that the speciality breads might work, she is taking short cuts and using bread mixes instead of making the breads from scratch. From the expert’s point of view, she’s totally missed the point and her controlling, passive aggressive behaviour is dooming the move forward.

Her rationale for her resistance is that she has been running her business for over 36 years and done well, thank you very much. I was in awe at the expert’s tenacity in trying to get her to change her mind but in the end, the business owner turned down all the ideas and suggestions.

So how set in your ways are you? Are you open to change? What does it take to get you to change direction? A decline in revenue or customers; constant feedback emphasizing something you don’t want to hear? Well, ignore at your peril. Even the most successful business cannot rest on its laurels, part of staying successful is staying current and innovative.

Plus, don’t you get bored with the same old, same old? I do.

MORE PRODUCTIVE EMAILS

How many emails do you get a week? I don’t know about you, but if I am out of the office for just a day, I am faced with hundreds of emails from people, all expecting an instant reply from me.

At a recent conference, I had the opportunity to hear Elaine Stirling, author of The Corporate Storyteller: A writing manual and style guide for the brave new business leader who shared tips on more efficient use of emails. Too often she says, we waste people’s time by not being specific about what we want and by when, which results in several emails going to and fro until this information is nailed down. How true.

She also encourages people to set the stage for their email message, with a quick courteous sentence that allows you to check in with the person or helps them clarify who you are and where you met.

Being visual, I truly got her statement about white space and how a long, dense email is intimidating before you even read it and in fact may result on you not responding straight away. Introducing paragraphs or better still headings, makes it much easier for the reader to grasp what you want.

She suggests that the closing sentence should revert back to the personal and be friendly, helping to build the relationship between yourself and the recipient.

So often I write what I want and then it seems too stark and to-the-point, and so I go back and inject the email with more of a personal tone at the beginning and at the end. And it would seem I am on the right track.

Elaine recommends that when we send an email we take three steps :

1. Why I am writing this
2. What you need to know to take action or make a decision
3. What I need from you and when.


When we outline what we need, why we need it and by what time, there is no confusion and best of all, we save time – for everyone.

ENTERING THE DEN

Some call him a Shark, others a Dragon. But meeting Robert Herjavec of Dragons’ Den fame was less scary than you would think. He’s actually a likeable, down-to-earth, shrewd businessman who has worked hard to achieve his success.

Along with several other “media,” I had the opportunity to sit in on a media conference before he spoke at the Toronto Entrepreneur launch this weekend. What first struck me however was the length of his hair - it was longer than I thought. Overlapping on his collar, it gave him a younger look and he is a lot slimmer than he appears on television, but they say that the TV adds ten pounds.

He talked about the role Dragons Den has played in making entrepreneurship sexy. It is now considered cool to own your own business and at a recent talk at Wilfrid Laurier, he was encouraging the students to “become great at something you do and the money will follow.”

Being on the show he has seen many budding entrepreneurs and he encourages anyone thinking of pitching to the Dragons to do their homework, do the math. “When we ask you what you want the money for – don’t say marketing, “ he advises. “You are wanting us to invest in your business, be prepared for real world questions because if you can’t answer them, then you are in trouble.” he adds.

His parents who came to Canada with nothing and who could not speak English, are his inspiration. Because of the sacrifices they made for him, he was determined to be successful. In the early nineties, he was waiting on tables at a local restaurant and launching BRAK systems in his basement in between shifts.

Ironically, while the Dragons often seek a share of the business in return for their investment, Herjavec himself prefers to keep all the equity to himself. He wants to own his businesses 100 percent.

Herjavec sold his first business to AT & T for $100 million. At the time he was offered stock or cash. Unsure which way to go, he asked his accountant and other advisors, who recommended he take the stock. But that wasn’t sitting right with him, so he asked the one person he knew who would give him an honest answer – his father – who said take the cash. He took the cash but a few months later the stock value was on the rise and he started to question his decision, however not much later, the company folded. Had he taken the stock, he would have been left with nothing.

After a three-year hiatus, he started up the The Herjavec Group and he admitted that it hasn’t grown as quickly as he thought. “In some ways when you don’t have much money to invest, you stay laser-focused and less willing to take risks. Whereas this time I’ve thrown money at different things, and they haven’t all worked out. “

It was interesting to learn that no one within the company has a title on their business cards. From Herjavec’s perspective, all his staff have the same job – to keep the customer happy.

When asked about giving back, Herjavec started by explaining that culturally in Eastern Europe, you don’t give back. Having said that, he went onto say while he can’t help everyone, he’s chosen causes that have personal meaning to him. And family always comes first.

As Herjavec points out, we all have the same 24 hours in a day, it’s what we do with that time that counts. We have no one to blame but ourselves if we don’t use our time wisely.

Clearly Herjavec has made every second count.

Realistic Expectations

I am always advocating that we need to touch base with our customers, to find out what is happening with them and what we can do to improve our services.

And I do walk the talk. This week we sent out our annual survey to women who are part of the Company of Women community and slowly they are trickling back.

As I read through the feedback, it’s gratifying to learn that we are doing OK, but I find myself gravitating to the few negative ones. Why do we do that? The majority are super- positive, and people have some great ideas and suggestions that we will consider implementing, yet I still get drawn into the negativity of some people.

I find myself getting defensive – wanting to reply and explain how much different aspects of our programs cost and that we’re a small team. Or counter with my feedback on what we have done in the past.

It boils down to expectations. While we are there to support and connect you as much as we can, we can’t make your business a success, only you can do that.

I guess my lesson from all this is that when we ask for people’s opinions, that’s what we get and you have to be prepared to take the good, with the bad, and at least this time there was no ugly.

bizwomen: Day by Day

bizwomen: Day by Day: "Well it is official. I have a book. I picked up copies from the publishers last week and already this week we’ve sold quite a few copies. ..."

Day by Day

Well it is official. I have a book. I picked up copies from the publishers last week and already this week we’ve sold quite a few copies. It does feel strange to think that likely over the long weekend people will be reading about the ins and outs of my life.

I guess I knew that when I wrote it – but it is different now that moment is here. Will I hear back from them? Will they look me straight in the eye again or avoid me? Oh the pangs of self-doubt start to roll in. Why do we do that to ourselves? It also makes me feel vulnerable – not a role I like to play.

The funny thing is that no sooner had the book arrived than other writers approached me about the whole publishing process. Like I am the expert. I mean I am just a few weeks ahead of them, that’s all. But I did meet with some women this week and it strikes me that there is merit in us all getting together to share ideas, resources and support.

Writing a book and getting it published is just the first step. If you don’t do any marketing, it will just gather dust on your bookshelf or sit in your garage waiting for a good home.

Like any product you have to sell, you have to consider who is your target market and focus your energies on reaching them. That’s where I am lucky in a way. My book is aimed at women and is about running a small business while trying to have a life, which means that it will appeal, hopefully, to women in Company of Women and other small business owners.

A fellow author – oh that sounds so sweet – suggested that I post an entry on www.page99test.com How this works is you type in page 99 of your book, and people give you feedback on whether they would buy it or not. Now she did warn me that it could be brutal and you certainly have to leave your ego at the door and don a suit of armour.

Only three people have reviewed the page, and so far one might buy it. One reviewer was a guy, so he just didn’t get it and with the other negative comment, I wanted to email her back to explain. I guess it makes you a bit defensive. But again, it does emphasize the need to be targeted in who want to reach.

So often when you write a book, you put so much of yourself into it, and when the book is actually your story – then even more so. For those of you reading Day by Day. Tales of business, life and everything in between I hope you get something out of the book. Even my kids learned something new about their mother ☺

BEING MUGGED EMOTIONALLY

A few weeks ago one of our team was publicly put down in front of a whole group of people by someone participating in a program. She came back to the office shaking and near tears. When said individual then followed up with an equally attacking email, it was hard to not just retaliate and bring ourselves down to her level. However, we took the high road, even though we were gritting our teeth.

So I read with great interest a recent article by Martha Beck in which she talks about people trying to rob us of our good mood. She called it emotional mugging and explained that there are six types of muggers – from the puppy kickers who take out their frustrations on someone else or the exploding doormats who will take so much, and then explode at the slightest provocation, and who harbour festering hostility towards their targets, to other more serious offenders who long term can damage your core belief in yourself.

The deflaters, and you may even have these in your family, are the ones who burst your bubble and sees virtue in pessimism. They can “take the air out of any good time and make a bad time feel even worse.” shares Beck.

The most insidious is the secret keepers, because you can start to question your own sanity. You know something’s not right but when you talk about it, the secret keeper pounces back, anxious to stop you from learning the truth. The cannibals are the ones who can bring you down in a split second with their tales of doom and gloom. Beck recommends not feeding into this person’s misery but instead reinforce with them that they have the resources to resolve their issues.

The last are the dementors, who take pleasure in publicly humiliating another person. They, Beck points out, are “endlessly unhappy, addicted to the sense of control they get from violating others.” The dementors are the most vicious of the muggers and her best advice was to avoid them completely or if that is not an option, to keep your emotional distance.

To protect yourself from emotional mugging, Beck compares her advice to learning self-defense, except instead of learning karate-do to protect yourself physically, she advocates practicing emo-do – the way of the emotional master.

As for our troubled lady, she most definitely fit into the dementors category and we intend to follow Beck’s advice and keep our distance.

LAST SEEN HEADING FOR…

I have a thing about being on time. Punctuality is important to me and as many of my members will attest, I work hard to finish my events on time. I feel it is a sign of respect to do so.

That being said, twice this week I have been late – for an event and a meeting. Why? Because I got lost. Not only lost, but my GPS had me going around in circles.

By the time I was forty minutes late picking up my volunteer Melanie, I was almost beside myself. I knew I was going to be late for our event and I had the name tags, registration material etc… And sure enough, when we arrived people were waiting for us, several concerned because I am never late. Well after this week, nearly never.

A few days later, I decided to try a different route home from Kitchener. Big mistake. Again following my trusty (or not so trusty) GPS, I started to notice familiar sites – I literally was back where I started from, and suddenly where I thought I had plenty of time to get to my meeting, I was behind and stuck in traffic. Fortunately the people I was meeting with were flexible and we were able to get together, albeit half an hour later.

No one likes to get lost. It makes you feel vulnerable. With places to go and people to see, my frustration level was at an all time high. But it made me realize how it must feel when you are lost in life, when you don’t know what to do next, and are drifting with no sense of direction or inner voice telling you what to do. It’s not a comfortable place to be, and yet all of us have been there at some time in our lives.

As business owners, it can often be when we have some tough decisions to make and we aren’t sure how or whether to make them – whether it be to take that big step and hire staff or undertake a major expense or at the other end of the spectrum, to face the unwelcome reality that your business isn’t working or is not financially viable and it’s time to close the doors.

In his book The Dip, Seth Godin talks about how often we give up when success is just around the corner. Certainly I set myself a time limit and had determined that if I hadn’t found Melanie’s farmhouse by a certain time, I was going to have to give up and sure enough, seconds before that deadline, I found it.

With my second tardy experience, it bothered me more than the people I was visiting, so really I could have cut myself some slack. Maybe we expect too much of ourselves.

Whether you are lost physically or mentally, one thing I know for sure, asking for directions can help you recognize and reach your destination. Talking it out with a friend or family member can bring a different perspective, one that brings objectivity to your situation and help you see a clear path and sense of direction.

LESSONS ON LEADERSHIP AND BUSINESS

Like many I have admired and been in awe of Mandela’s courage after spending 27 years in prison, and so I was interested to read the book Mandela’s Way Fifteen Lessons on Life, Love and Courage by Richard Stengel.

Mandela was 44 when he was first imprisoned and before that time, he would describe himself as an emotional, passionate and sensitive man but when he came out at age 71, he was described as balanced, measured and controlled. “I came out mature” he says.

In this book, the author describes Mandela’s lessons, which as business owners and leaders we can all learn from and grow – both professionally and personally.

1. Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s learning to overcome it.
He would pretend to be brave but inside wasn’t feeling that way, he was just putting on a front.

2. Be measured. Control is the measure of a leader. Calm is what people are looking for in tense situations. As a young man, he was a hot head, easily roused to anger but he emerged from prison as someone almost impossible to rile. He liked to make decisions after considering all the options – think, analyze and act.

3. Lead from the front. Leaders must not only lead, but must be seen to lead. This meant doing things not necessarily to attract attention, but to be doing the same as others, in his case, with the other prisoners. When you lead from the front, you can’t let your colleagues get too far behind.

4. Lead from the back. As much as Mandela liked the limelight, he knew he had to share it. The author compared it to herding cattle, you get behind them and prod with a stick. This style of leadership means listening and getting consensus. Mandela preferred to reach results in a harmonious way, believing that what’s good for you, is good for others.

5. Look the part. Appearances matter. If you want to play the part, you have to wear the right clothes. At any political or social event, Mandela was always the first to stand up and clap; he would greet people, not be greeted by them and was always the host, never the guest.

Mandela’s smile is unique. It spells confidence. When he was released the one message he wanted to convey was that he was a man without bitterness.

6. Have a core principle. Everything else is tactics. Mandela’s core principle is equal rights for all, everything else is a tactic. He is a pragmatist and sets about getting things done.

7. See the good in others. He believes in starting with the assumption that you are dealing with people in good faith. Mandela felt that seeing the good in others might actually make them better. His premise was that if you expect more of people, they often contributed more.

8. Know your enemy. In his youth, Mandela was an amateur boxer and his coach taught him to be nimble and strong, but that he also had to know his opponent. So he learnt Afrikaans as he thought if he could speak his opponents’ language, he could to straight to their hearts.

To him, it was the art of persuasion – you don’t address their brains, you address their hearts. So in business, if you want to make the sale, you address the heart. He would do his homework and prepare for meetings with opponents. And when he won, he never gloated. He wanted to let them save face because then you could turn your enemy into a friend.

9. Keep your rivals close. Mandela never stopped tracking his opponents. In fact he believed that you needed to keep close tabs on your friendly rivals. He wanted to be close enough to see trouble coming.

10. Know when to say no. Mandela was decisive in his decisions, not given to saying “maybe” when he knew it would be “no” in the long run. His advice was that if you are delaying a decision because you are avoiding saying “no” as it is unpleasant, you are better to do it right away, and avoid a heap of trouble down the road.

11. It’s a long game. After 27 years in prison, you learn how to play a long game. He learned how to postpone gratification, whereas our culture rewards speed and impatience is regarded as a virtue.

He advises not to let the illusion of urgency force you to make decisions before you are ready. He prefers to marinate ideas and keep the total picture in mind.

12. Love makes the difference. He always was a romantic, dreaming of love and family. It was a lonely life for him - as a prisoner and when he first came out of prison, as being a celebrity trapped him. Who could he trust? But he remarried at 80 and has found love in his life again.

13. Quitting is leadership too. His greatest act of leadership was renunciation of it. He felt his job was to set the course, not steer the ship and at 80 he retired. He knows that it doesn’t pay to fight over every issue, and sometimes it’s best to call it quits.

14. It’s always both. There are no simple answers to most difficult questions. All explanations may be true but every problem has many causes, not just one. Shades of grey, he observed, are not easy to articulate. Black and white is seductive because it is simple and absolute. We often gravitate to yes or no, when both may be closer to the truth. We need to put ourselves in the shoes of the person with whom we disagree.

15. Find your own garden. When he was in prison, Mandela got permission to grow a vegetable garden. It became is oasis and helped quieten his mind. He believes that each of us needs something from the world that gives us pleasure and satisfaction.

I thoroughly recommend this book. It is a quick and easy read, with lots of meat to it and ideas to ponder on.