Community works

Some recent research has shown that in times of strife, such as 9/11, the number of suicides, people diagnosed with depression and incidents of violence, actually goes down.  It drops, when logically you would think it would increase under the pressure everyone is facing.

Why does this happen?  What they have found is that acts of terror, war or other life-changing community incidents tend to bring people together to form a united front. It is through that sense of community that the feelings of isolation dissipate and people feel needed and wanted.

Interesting.   It was a sense of isolation that spurred me on to start Company of Women over thirteen years ago.  I had a successful consulting practice at the time  and was working from home.  But I missed the camaraderie and conversations with peers. 

I also wanted to meet some like-minded women who were on the same path as myself. I was the only one of my friends, at the time, to have her own business and while I was at  home, everyone thought I could just down tools and have coffee with them.  Er… no.  They didn’t get the time and commitment involved in starting a small business.

 What I have discovered through Company of Women is that no matter what business you are in, the issues are often the same – finding customers, retaining customers, cash flow, human resources, etc… and yes, those feelings of self-doubt that creep in from time to time.  

It therefore makes sense to problem solve together.  It makes sense to ‘fess up that all is not as rosy as we’d like it to be, because when we “do vulnerable” we can be surprised at how people rally round to help you, give advice and provide support.  And more, that you are not alone.

And what we are doing fits the definition of  community- “Self-organized network of people with a common agenda, cause, interest, who collaborate by sharing ideas, information and other resources.”

In other words, we are not just looking out for ourselves, we are invested in learning and helping others succeed and in doing so, it would appear that we are also keeping depression at bay.

  

It is through authentic, genuine dialogue that we become community.  Thank you for being part of mine.

Hand in Hand into the World

A smile came across my face as I watched a group of preschoolers out for a walk, all hanging on to a rope that kept them safe and linked together.  

It brought back warm memories of when my girls were little, but it also struck me that at Company of Women we do the same.

Just as the children were holding on to the rope, you just know that if one of them fell, the group would stop, an adult would go over, pick up and

comfort the child and likewise if one of our members, stumbled, I’d like to think that we would rally round and her chapter leader would be there to provide support.

And worse case scenario, one of the children broke loose, there would be someone to go after the child and bring her back to the “fold.”

Sometimes as small business owners we can fall by the wayside,  tripping on some obstacle that seems overwhelming at the time.  I am sure we can all think of friends who are sometimes “missing in action” and who disappear when the challenges become too hard to face and share.

But perhaps that’s just when, like the teacher with the children, we need to be there.  We need to check in and gently remind the individual that there are people who care; that all of us have faced tough situations and perhaps we can help. 

And maybe we can’t,  but just knowing that you are not alone; that others have been there and survived, can reduce that sense of isolation. Your caring doesn’t go unnoticed.

We can become the safety net for each other.  Providing a safe place where you can be honest, authentic and vulnerable is what Company of Women is all about.  

It was that vulnerability that enabled the women in the One Red Lipstick book  to share their stories with us.  They are our role models, showing us the way to overcome obstacles with resilience and tenacity so we too can achieve success on our own terms.

I encourage you to look around.  Is there someone missing?  Someone who hasn’t shown up recently?  Why not check in?    We are all on a similar journey and hopefully heading in the same direction, let’s make sure we are there when someone gets lost.

As Robert Fulgham says in his book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten  “When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.”

Finding your tribe

We have eleven black Angus cows on the farm this year, and when we first got them, they would advance towards you in a row – sort of like the cowboys in Magnificent Seven, except there’s eleven of them – all sizes and including some calves.

At first they all stuck together, the leader moved and they all went with her, but as they became more comfortable with the space and each other, they've sometimes branched off and explored on their own.

The other night, they were making a dreadful racket and apparently a snapping turtle (who knew they existed) had bitten one of the cows, and as a result she was crying out in pain.  The others joined in, rallying round with sympathy and support.

It always strikes me as ironical that as a city slicker, with a business named Company of Women (acronym  COW), that I should end up living in the country with cows. Who knew?

As an aside, yes, I was aware of the acronym when I started the organization, in fact, my first newsletter was called News from the Field.  I figured that those who got it would get a laugh, and those that didn’t… well, too bad.

But I digress, what has struck me lately is that our cows and Company of Women actually have even more in common.   Instead of a herd, we are a tribe and just like the cows, we come together, go off and do our own thing and come together again, especially when one of the group needs support.

Being part of community that cares makes life so much more meaningful.  You have someone who will watch your back, will “cry out” just likes the cows when you are hurt and boost your morale when you need cheerleaders or just cheering up.

We all want to belong and when you are a solopreneur or even when you are at the top of your organization, it can be lonely out there.  That’s why it is so good to meet up with like-minded women who are on the same path, face the same challenges as you and who have the same passion for what they do and want to achieve.

As we often say at Company of Women, you don’t have to be alone when you own.

Gratitude

For years I have been preaching about the value of women helping women, and I’ve always tried to live up to that mantra.

Rarely though have I been at the receiving end.  Partly because I don’t ask for help  (I don’t do vulnerable)  but also because I am not comfortable asking for favours.  But as we finalize our plans for our conference Journey 2 Success, I have been amazed and frankly flattered, at the support we have received from other women business owners.

We’ve always tried to get sponsors for our conference as we like to make the event as affordable as possible, but in the past to be honest,  had limited success in this area.  But not this year.  This year women entrepreneurs have come forward to lend their financial support.

I can’t say enough about how this makes me feel.  I truly appreciate and value the gestures these individuals have made and their offers to help.   The majority of our sponsors this year are women who are small business owners.  They have reached a certain level within their business and want to give back.

How sweet is this.  It really speaks to the whole essence of what the conference is all about – that we are all on a journey and we can help each other reach our chosen destination.

So let me introduce you to these wonderful women.  First is our lead sponsor – Jennifer Longmore from Soul Journeys, who just phoned me out of the blue to say she wanted to be my major sponsor.  How cool is that.

Next is Joyce Usher Mesiano of National Brokers Insurance and then there’s Chioma of AMOI magazine who last year sat on our Courage Panel and was so impressed with the day, she’s back as a sponsor and recruited two other sponsors - the Jamaican National Building Society and Matrix Search Group.

Both Jerrold Johnson and Chandran Fernando come from a diversity perspective. They know and truly understand the obstacles that women and visible minorities face and are working hard to level the playing field.

My heartfelt thanks to Jennifer, Joyce,  Chioma, Jerrold and Chandran.   I can’t thank you enough for your faith, your support and encouragement. You truly walk the talk.