Have you heard of Theatre Sheridan? – To me it is one of Oakville’s best kept secrets. Each year the Sheridan students put on six productions, the best of which is Catch a Rising Star, where students showcase their talents and their own work. And, I might add at the fraction of the cost of going to the theatre in Toronto or Hamilton.
With Catch a Rising Star, you are never sure what you will see or hear. The students pick their own theme and often use their musical talents to speak out on issues that are important to them. This year’s show was no exception.
As I sat in the cabaret style theatre, I wondered how many of the audience, who seemed to be mainly part of the grey hair brigade, were agreement with the views voiced by the young students? Or whether they felt uncomfortable with their brutal honesty.
Two performances truly stood out for me. A young woman with a powerful voice, and a powerful message sang her song Dear Mr President, in which she asked how he could sleep at night, how he could look people in the eye, while young men and women were killed and mothers never got to say goodbye. She sang it with passion and I found myself thinking – good for you for speaking up and giving words to what others think but do not have the courage to say.
The next song was Earth, and focused on global warming. Again a strong performance and the message was emphasized as the students wandered among the audience with the chorus “What about us?”
I find it reassuring that our young people do care about these issues and as always I’m in awe of their talent.
If you get a chance, go see the show, you will be glad you did. It is on until April 21st.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Realistic Expectations
We expect so much of ourselves and often we stand in our own way with our unrealistic expectations of what can be achieved and what we can do.
Years ago I taught a parenting course on children’s self-esteem and one of my favourite sessions was the one on realistic expectations. Children don’t question whether our expectations for them are accurate and so if we aim too high for them, they fail, and if we aim too low, they fail also. In parenting, it is therefore key to have some understanding and knowledge of normal child development and the ages and stages that children go through, because with these tools in our back pocket, we can be more realistic about what our children can accomplish and as a result they flourish and grow, not hindered by unrealistic expectations.
So perhaps we need to take a leaf out of our parenting books, and develop some realistic expectations for ourselves, because as adults, we are constantly raising the bar. Last night one of our panel members shared how trying to juggle two young children and a thriving business caught her off kilter. No wonder – that’s a lot for anyone to manage – yet she thought she could.
But as she found, when she stopped, caught her breath and focused on her priorities - a toddler and infant baby – her customers were willing to wait. When you set boundaries and limits, it protects everyone. If you are good at what you do, people will wait, they won’t just switch to someone else.
As I listened to her share this experience, it struck me that when you have the courage to reveal your vulnerability, your truth, you seem real. I know the women in the audience identified with the situation and appreciated her honesty.
The truth is always simple, but living it is not always easy.
Years ago I taught a parenting course on children’s self-esteem and one of my favourite sessions was the one on realistic expectations. Children don’t question whether our expectations for them are accurate and so if we aim too high for them, they fail, and if we aim too low, they fail also. In parenting, it is therefore key to have some understanding and knowledge of normal child development and the ages and stages that children go through, because with these tools in our back pocket, we can be more realistic about what our children can accomplish and as a result they flourish and grow, not hindered by unrealistic expectations.
So perhaps we need to take a leaf out of our parenting books, and develop some realistic expectations for ourselves, because as adults, we are constantly raising the bar. Last night one of our panel members shared how trying to juggle two young children and a thriving business caught her off kilter. No wonder – that’s a lot for anyone to manage – yet she thought she could.
But as she found, when she stopped, caught her breath and focused on her priorities - a toddler and infant baby – her customers were willing to wait. When you set boundaries and limits, it protects everyone. If you are good at what you do, people will wait, they won’t just switch to someone else.
As I listened to her share this experience, it struck me that when you have the courage to reveal your vulnerability, your truth, you seem real. I know the women in the audience identified with the situation and appreciated her honesty.
The truth is always simple, but living it is not always easy.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Spring Cleaning
With Spring just around the corner, it was interesting to read an article this weekend about decluttering your life.
The author, a life coach, was encouraging readers to be brutal with their “stuff” and clean out fifty items from their lives. Books, for example, just counted as one so you could not cheat by recycling 50 books from your collection. No, you had to take a systematic approach and work your way through your home. She also recommended keeping a list, so you can look at it later and actually feel lighter.
As someone who has lived in the same house for 23 years, raised two daughters who have left and come back but never empty-handed, our basement looks like a battleground. We have a two-car garage that has not seen a car in years, as it too is home to the leftovers of lives lived elsewhere.
And if I am really honest, I am a bit of a packrat. I’ve had several careers and still have the paperwork to prove it. I’ve kept every file, study or report that I have ever written… just in case … you know, I may need it again.
But what was really interesting about this article, was the premise that when you get rid of the clutter in your life, it is much easier to move on to letting go of the negative thoughts that litter your head and hold you back. And you can count them in your fifty!
She suggests you make a list of the old convictions, fears, negative assumptions and depressing voices that weigh you down and commit to letting them go. Every morning for two weeks, recommit to eliminating them from your day-to-day thinking and congratulate yourself on the progress, however slight.
One woman was concerned when she contacted the author because she’d only got rid of one thing – her partner. But as the coach said, that was perhaps all she needed to take control of her life again.
Her advice – spring is here, and it’s time to lighten up. Don’t let yourself be shackled to irrelevant debris of the past, either physical or mental.
So, as I start to sort through old files and boxes of stuff, it becomes very freeing, and already I feel lighter because of the process.
What are you going to throw away? Start counting…
The author, a life coach, was encouraging readers to be brutal with their “stuff” and clean out fifty items from their lives. Books, for example, just counted as one so you could not cheat by recycling 50 books from your collection. No, you had to take a systematic approach and work your way through your home. She also recommended keeping a list, so you can look at it later and actually feel lighter.
As someone who has lived in the same house for 23 years, raised two daughters who have left and come back but never empty-handed, our basement looks like a battleground. We have a two-car garage that has not seen a car in years, as it too is home to the leftovers of lives lived elsewhere.
And if I am really honest, I am a bit of a packrat. I’ve had several careers and still have the paperwork to prove it. I’ve kept every file, study or report that I have ever written… just in case … you know, I may need it again.
But what was really interesting about this article, was the premise that when you get rid of the clutter in your life, it is much easier to move on to letting go of the negative thoughts that litter your head and hold you back. And you can count them in your fifty!
She suggests you make a list of the old convictions, fears, negative assumptions and depressing voices that weigh you down and commit to letting them go. Every morning for two weeks, recommit to eliminating them from your day-to-day thinking and congratulate yourself on the progress, however slight.
One woman was concerned when she contacted the author because she’d only got rid of one thing – her partner. But as the coach said, that was perhaps all she needed to take control of her life again.
Her advice – spring is here, and it’s time to lighten up. Don’t let yourself be shackled to irrelevant debris of the past, either physical or mental.
So, as I start to sort through old files and boxes of stuff, it becomes very freeing, and already I feel lighter because of the process.
What are you going to throw away? Start counting…
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Branding Yourself
In running Company of Women, I get to meet some wonderful women with amazing stories to tell. One such woman is Diana Bishop, who was our guest speaker last night. With no notes (which always impresses me), she told her story with humour - always keeping her audience attentive and entertained.
With self-effacing honesty, she shared her fascinating climb up the journalism ladder, from the early days when her assignment was to write about white asparagus, to her national break when she covered a story about three ducks stuck in the ice , to her years in China as one of the first female foreign reporters with CBS, CTV and then NBS.
There she was at the peak in her career, earning big dollars but something was missing. Many of us would have just stuck it out, but Diana felt compelled to follow her heart and see where it led. She left her job, unsure of what the future would unfold.
When she reflected back on her career, she realized that what she truly loved was the storytelling. She turned her seasoned interviewing skills into a business through which she helps people share their story and then packages it so they can use the material as a marketing tool to brand their business. And it works.
Her advice to the women in the audience was to find their passion, to think about their special talents and find the one thing that truly differentiates them from anyone else, because when you build your brand on who you are and what makes you unique; no one else can come close.
Many of the women told me that they'd been really tired when they first arrived, but following Diana's presentation, they felt energized and renewed. They left with a bounce to their step, full of enthusiasm and hope. Thank you Diana for your story - it warmed our hearts, let us laugh out loud and gave us food for thought. What is my one thing? Stay tuned.
With self-effacing honesty, she shared her fascinating climb up the journalism ladder, from the early days when her assignment was to write about white asparagus, to her national break when she covered a story about three ducks stuck in the ice , to her years in China as one of the first female foreign reporters with CBS, CTV and then NBS.
There she was at the peak in her career, earning big dollars but something was missing. Many of us would have just stuck it out, but Diana felt compelled to follow her heart and see where it led. She left her job, unsure of what the future would unfold.
When she reflected back on her career, she realized that what she truly loved was the storytelling. She turned her seasoned interviewing skills into a business through which she helps people share their story and then packages it so they can use the material as a marketing tool to brand their business. And it works.
Her advice to the women in the audience was to find their passion, to think about their special talents and find the one thing that truly differentiates them from anyone else, because when you build your brand on who you are and what makes you unique; no one else can come close.
Many of the women told me that they'd been really tired when they first arrived, but following Diana's presentation, they felt energized and renewed. They left with a bounce to their step, full of enthusiasm and hope. Thank you Diana for your story - it warmed our hearts, let us laugh out loud and gave us food for thought. What is my one thing? Stay tuned.
Friday, March 23, 2007
You're not alone
This week I have had several emails from people just starting out. It takes me back to my early days when I first launched my consulting practice and was constantly second-guessing myself. Should I have done this… should I have done that.. What if…
It really is a time of uncertainty and there were days (and there still are) when I questioned my sanity and my ability to work for myself. Mind you these days, I joke that I am no longer employable. You get very used to calling the shots, but with that control comes the responsibility and knowledge that the buck stops with you.
One woman was asking if she should join a network and I really encouraged her to test out the ones in her city. Meeting up with other business owners helps reduce the sense of isolation you can feel and you quickly realize that you are not alone. One thing I have found in running Company of Women is that it doesn’t really matter what business you are in… the issues are usually the same – cash flow, finding customers, marketing, websites, finding and keeping staff, etc…
Through all the connections I have made at Company of Women, I enjoy linking people and it's been fun to match someone in a business in one city, with someone in a similar business elsewhere. To me that is what networking is all about. Listening and helping each other.
One of the joys of the Internet, is that it is so easy to connect and reach out for help. And that was my invitation to these women… email me, let me know how you are doing, and when you want to celebrate or vent… I’m just a click away.
It really is a time of uncertainty and there were days (and there still are) when I questioned my sanity and my ability to work for myself. Mind you these days, I joke that I am no longer employable. You get very used to calling the shots, but with that control comes the responsibility and knowledge that the buck stops with you.
One woman was asking if she should join a network and I really encouraged her to test out the ones in her city. Meeting up with other business owners helps reduce the sense of isolation you can feel and you quickly realize that you are not alone. One thing I have found in running Company of Women is that it doesn’t really matter what business you are in… the issues are usually the same – cash flow, finding customers, marketing, websites, finding and keeping staff, etc…
Through all the connections I have made at Company of Women, I enjoy linking people and it's been fun to match someone in a business in one city, with someone in a similar business elsewhere. To me that is what networking is all about. Listening and helping each other.
One of the joys of the Internet, is that it is so easy to connect and reach out for help. And that was my invitation to these women… email me, let me know how you are doing, and when you want to celebrate or vent… I’m just a click away.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Technically challenged
Deleting all my emails in error should have been my first clue that the day was not going to proceed as planned. Fortunately I managed to retrieve most of them, but it was a time-consuming exercise and for those of you who emailed me between mid-February and mid-March – I apologize. If I didn’t reply before, I can’t now because your email has been lost to email heaven. Hopefully you will get back to me if it was really important.
My computer started to go on the fritz yesterday. No Excel – there goes my database. No Internet – there goes my ability to google and search on the net. Scary stuff. It must be human nature but as soon as you can’t have something, that’s all you want. I felt myself stymied as if using the Internet was the only thing on my “to do” list.
And of course, it wasn’t. We are busy promoting our conference which is on May 17 and I am sure my graphics person is ready to fire me if I make one more change to our flyer. For a variety of reasons we’ve had to make several changes, some if I'm honest because of oversights on my part. At any rate, it is time to put this baby to bed.
I wait for my tech guy to come… he was due five hours ago and still no sign. I seem destined to have a day sans Internet, but wouldn’t you know it, today is the Day of Virtual Introduction, sponsored by The International Virtual Women’s Chamber of Commerce and I had signed up and paid to participate. At least some of it is done through email, so I am not totally missing out but much is also linked through the Internet.
My tech guy arrives. His car had broken down. I guess he’s not had a great day either!
Ah well, tomorrow – I will be online, onboard and moving onward…
My computer started to go on the fritz yesterday. No Excel – there goes my database. No Internet – there goes my ability to google and search on the net. Scary stuff. It must be human nature but as soon as you can’t have something, that’s all you want. I felt myself stymied as if using the Internet was the only thing on my “to do” list.
And of course, it wasn’t. We are busy promoting our conference which is on May 17 and I am sure my graphics person is ready to fire me if I make one more change to our flyer. For a variety of reasons we’ve had to make several changes, some if I'm honest because of oversights on my part. At any rate, it is time to put this baby to bed.
I wait for my tech guy to come… he was due five hours ago and still no sign. I seem destined to have a day sans Internet, but wouldn’t you know it, today is the Day of Virtual Introduction, sponsored by The International Virtual Women’s Chamber of Commerce and I had signed up and paid to participate. At least some of it is done through email, so I am not totally missing out but much is also linked through the Internet.
My tech guy arrives. His car had broken down. I guess he’s not had a great day either!
Ah well, tomorrow – I will be online, onboard and moving onward…
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Leaving a legacy
MJ DeCoteau was just 22 years old when her mother died of breast cancer. For many, this premature loss would leave a lasting scar and a feeling of emptiness, but for MJ it led to a new career, and a new charity ReThink Breast Cancer.
Realizing that she needed to check out her risks, MJ searched for health information and found that most literature showed an elderly woman doing self-breast exam. As a young twenty-something, she couldn't relate to this material and was sure she wasn't alone. So she founded ReThink Breast Cancer so that she could reach young women. Her organization set about developing innovative awareness campaigns and strategies that would peak the interest of young women. And it's working which is just as well, as contrary to the myth that breast cancer only strikes older women, sadly more and more young women are falling victim to this disease.
Last year, when I was participating in the 60K walk to end breast cancer, I was asked to be a media spokesperson. There were seven of us selected from the 5,000 walkers and as we met to be briefed on how to work with the media, we had to share our stories. Most of the other women were much younger than me and one in particular comes to mind. She had been diagnosed just after she had her first baby. How scary and it sure hit home to me that this is no longer an old lady's disease.
We should be grateful that women like MJ are stepping forward and helping young women come to terms with their illness and that her fresh, upbeat, marketing approach is putting a new spin on breast cancer and getting the message out there.
As I said to MJ after she spoke at our Company of Women dinner, her mother would be proud of her. Instead of leaving her lost, she's left a legacy.
To learn more about ReThink Breast Cancer, go to www.rethinkbreastcancer.com
Realizing that she needed to check out her risks, MJ searched for health information and found that most literature showed an elderly woman doing self-breast exam. As a young twenty-something, she couldn't relate to this material and was sure she wasn't alone. So she founded ReThink Breast Cancer so that she could reach young women. Her organization set about developing innovative awareness campaigns and strategies that would peak the interest of young women. And it's working which is just as well, as contrary to the myth that breast cancer only strikes older women, sadly more and more young women are falling victim to this disease.
Last year, when I was participating in the 60K walk to end breast cancer, I was asked to be a media spokesperson. There were seven of us selected from the 5,000 walkers and as we met to be briefed on how to work with the media, we had to share our stories. Most of the other women were much younger than me and one in particular comes to mind. She had been diagnosed just after she had her first baby. How scary and it sure hit home to me that this is no longer an old lady's disease.
We should be grateful that women like MJ are stepping forward and helping young women come to terms with their illness and that her fresh, upbeat, marketing approach is putting a new spin on breast cancer and getting the message out there.
As I said to MJ after she spoke at our Company of Women dinner, her mother would be proud of her. Instead of leaving her lost, she's left a legacy.
To learn more about ReThink Breast Cancer, go to www.rethinkbreastcancer.com
Friday, March 09, 2007
You Go Girl...
This week I received an exciting news from Marissa McTasney, of Tomboy Trades.
I first met Marissa last September when I presented her with the Company of Women scholarship which is presented to a graduate of the Women in Skilled Trades program. At that time, Tomboy Trades was just a kernel of an idea; a concept she was pursuing.
Fast forward to March of this year, and Tomboy Trades will be launching its line of products - hard hats, work boots, safety glasses, tool belts and t-shirts in pink, blue, green and red. All of which will be available by the end of month through Home Depot!
This is huge! Not only has she sourced manufacturers in China, US and Canada, but she's persistently gone after Home Depot and it's paid off. I applaud her tenacity and determination to turn her dream into a reality. As a young mother of two, she's had to juggle her business start up with the needs of her family.
But best of all, Marissa is paying it forward and this year, she is presenting her own scholarship at the Women in Skilled Trades program. Now THAT is what it is all about.
To check out her products, go to www.tomboytrades.com
I first met Marissa last September when I presented her with the Company of Women scholarship which is presented to a graduate of the Women in Skilled Trades program. At that time, Tomboy Trades was just a kernel of an idea; a concept she was pursuing.
Fast forward to March of this year, and Tomboy Trades will be launching its line of products - hard hats, work boots, safety glasses, tool belts and t-shirts in pink, blue, green and red. All of which will be available by the end of month through Home Depot!
This is huge! Not only has she sourced manufacturers in China, US and Canada, but she's persistently gone after Home Depot and it's paid off. I applaud her tenacity and determination to turn her dream into a reality. As a young mother of two, she's had to juggle her business start up with the needs of her family.
But best of all, Marissa is paying it forward and this year, she is presenting her own scholarship at the Women in Skilled Trades program. Now THAT is what it is all about.
To check out her products, go to www.tomboytrades.com
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Building your team
Last week, our speaker Cynthia Richards of Event Spectrum shared some of her secrets of hiring and keeping gems on her team. Starting her business just nine years ago, she and her partner Zora Kriz, have built an amazing business which has led to Cynthia being listed in the top 100 Women Entrepreneurs in PROFIT magazine. Clearly they were doing something right.
And as Cynthia talked, it became obvious that they were on to something. Cynthia’s entrepreneurial philosophy is a simple one -- happy, motivated and challenged staff results in exceptional client service and loyalty that positively impacts your bottom line!
As they built their team, they offered all sorts of incentives not only to stay, but to work hard for the company – such as profit sharing, shopping days, an on-site gym, and opportunities to celebrate their successes.
Working in the fast-paced world of event planning, it was key to the company’s growth that staff had time to relax and unwind, and providing an on-site gym helped them to stay fit and healthy.
I also liked Cynthia’s approach to working with staff, assigning projects that work to their strengths, rather than focusing on their weaknesses. They take time to assess and determine each staff member’s talents, skills and interests so that they are given projects that will challenge and engage them.
Some of this she has learnt the hard way – as she said – the good, the bad and the ugly, especially when describing the situation when you hire the rock star, who doesn’t fit in with your culture and can undermine any sense of cohesiveness within the team. Her advice – if your gut is telling you it is not going to work out – don’t wait – let that person go before they do too much damage to staff morale.
Cynthia also walks the talk and her team of staff all attended the dinner, proud of their boss and keen to support her.
She shared a couple of situations where the team not only supported them, but came to the rescue – further speaking to the loyalty she has deservedly earned from her staff.
It is often said that you are only as good as your team, and building an effective, enthusiastic team has clearly been a priority at Event Spectrum, and it has paid off.
And as Cynthia talked, it became obvious that they were on to something. Cynthia’s entrepreneurial philosophy is a simple one -- happy, motivated and challenged staff results in exceptional client service and loyalty that positively impacts your bottom line!
As they built their team, they offered all sorts of incentives not only to stay, but to work hard for the company – such as profit sharing, shopping days, an on-site gym, and opportunities to celebrate their successes.
Working in the fast-paced world of event planning, it was key to the company’s growth that staff had time to relax and unwind, and providing an on-site gym helped them to stay fit and healthy.
I also liked Cynthia’s approach to working with staff, assigning projects that work to their strengths, rather than focusing on their weaknesses. They take time to assess and determine each staff member’s talents, skills and interests so that they are given projects that will challenge and engage them.
Some of this she has learnt the hard way – as she said – the good, the bad and the ugly, especially when describing the situation when you hire the rock star, who doesn’t fit in with your culture and can undermine any sense of cohesiveness within the team. Her advice – if your gut is telling you it is not going to work out – don’t wait – let that person go before they do too much damage to staff morale.
Cynthia also walks the talk and her team of staff all attended the dinner, proud of their boss and keen to support her.
She shared a couple of situations where the team not only supported them, but came to the rescue – further speaking to the loyalty she has deservedly earned from her staff.
It is often said that you are only as good as your team, and building an effective, enthusiastic team has clearly been a priority at Event Spectrum, and it has paid off.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Making a difference
For some time now I have been looking for a new cause to get involved in. For the past seven years I had been an active volunteer with ATHENA - an organization that assists women in realizing their leadership potential but I was getting restless and knew it was time for me to move on and lend my time and talents to another worthy cause.
I met Lise just by chance. She was having lunch at the restaurant where we hold our breakfast meetings, and the owner introduced us. We did the business card exchange thing, and I really thought nothing more about it... until I checked her website.
Lise is the Senior Advancement Representative for Opportunity International Canada, an organization that "provides banking services and training - microfinance - to the entrepreneurial poor so they can work their way out of poverty."
Making a difference has always been my driving force in life and here was an opportunity to truly impact the lives of women globally.
Just in case I hadn't got the message then, who should be the closing speaker at the Empowering Women event, but the Vice President of Opportunity International. She showed a moving video of how just a small loan of $100 completely turned the life around for a woman in Peru and her family.
Clearly this was meant to happen and this week I met with Lise. I am really excited at what we can do together - both personally and professionally as we will also be involving Company of Women in supporting this initiative.
Opportunity International is holding an information luncheon on March 15 at the Toronto Board of Trade, if you want to learn more and you can reach Lise at lstruthers@opportunityinternational.ca. Or check out their website at www.opportunityinternational.ca
I met Lise just by chance. She was having lunch at the restaurant where we hold our breakfast meetings, and the owner introduced us. We did the business card exchange thing, and I really thought nothing more about it... until I checked her website.
Lise is the Senior Advancement Representative for Opportunity International Canada, an organization that "provides banking services and training - microfinance - to the entrepreneurial poor so they can work their way out of poverty."
Making a difference has always been my driving force in life and here was an opportunity to truly impact the lives of women globally.
Just in case I hadn't got the message then, who should be the closing speaker at the Empowering Women event, but the Vice President of Opportunity International. She showed a moving video of how just a small loan of $100 completely turned the life around for a woman in Peru and her family.
Clearly this was meant to happen and this week I met with Lise. I am really excited at what we can do together - both personally and professionally as we will also be involving Company of Women in supporting this initiative.
Opportunity International is holding an information luncheon on March 15 at the Toronto Board of Trade, if you want to learn more and you can reach Lise at lstruthers@opportunityinternational.ca. Or check out their website at www.opportunityinternational.ca
Monday, February 19, 2007
Work-Life Balance
I've recently been asked to speak at Ryerson's International Women's Day. Public speaking is probably one of my biggest fears and it was all too tempting to turn down this opportunity, but I decided to accept the invitation.
My daughter's first response on hearing about the request was to ask why would they want to hear from me? No chance of my getting an ego! Then later when I heard they wanted me to talk about work-life balance, my husband just laughed and observed that it wouldn't be a long presentation, as I'd never achieved it!!
Then when I chatted to a girlfriend about my dilemma, she suggested I read a few books on the topic. Bit like studying for an exam, I'd have to bone up on the subject. Somehow that didn't seem real.
So instead, I spent the weekend crafting what I wanted to say. What did I decide about work-life balance, apart from the fact that it has alluded me? Personally I think it is a bit of a myth. I'm from the first generation of women who worked outside the home, and we were promised it all. I have reached the conclusion that you can have it all - just not at the same time. We have cycles or seasons in our lives, and it's all about choices and priorities.
There are times, especially when your children are little (or teenagers), when they need you. But I don't think we should become martyrs to motherhood either. And yes, there have been times when my life has been totally off kilter, but I like to think that I recognized the problem early and wasn't afraid to move on and leave that position.
It is often time for ourselves that gets lost in the shuffle - and that is one area I have always protected and guarded - be it to volunteer, visit with girlfriends or get my hair done. I find grabbing those moments for myself are what keeps me balanced.
A few years ago I asked women entrepreneurs why they started their business, and the most popular response was to gain more control. And while that is true to a certain extent, when you are first starting out, it is definitely not 9-5, especially if you want to be a success and there are times when it seems your business controls you, not the other way around.
What's your thoughts on this topic? Have you found balance? What do you do? Let me know, and who knows, I may be able to weave it into my presentation!!
I've recently been asked to speak at Ryerson's International Women's Day. Public speaking is probably one of my biggest fears and it was all too tempting to turn down this opportunity, but I decided to accept the invitation.
My daughter's first response on hearing about the request was to ask why would they want to hear from me? No chance of my getting an ego! Then later when I heard they wanted me to talk about work-life balance, my husband just laughed and observed that it wouldn't be a long presentation, as I'd never achieved it!!
Then when I chatted to a girlfriend about my dilemma, she suggested I read a few books on the topic. Bit like studying for an exam, I'd have to bone up on the subject. Somehow that didn't seem real.
So instead, I spent the weekend crafting what I wanted to say. What did I decide about work-life balance, apart from the fact that it has alluded me? Personally I think it is a bit of a myth. I'm from the first generation of women who worked outside the home, and we were promised it all. I have reached the conclusion that you can have it all - just not at the same time. We have cycles or seasons in our lives, and it's all about choices and priorities.
There are times, especially when your children are little (or teenagers), when they need you. But I don't think we should become martyrs to motherhood either. And yes, there have been times when my life has been totally off kilter, but I like to think that I recognized the problem early and wasn't afraid to move on and leave that position.
It is often time for ourselves that gets lost in the shuffle - and that is one area I have always protected and guarded - be it to volunteer, visit with girlfriends or get my hair done. I find grabbing those moments for myself are what keeps me balanced.
A few years ago I asked women entrepreneurs why they started their business, and the most popular response was to gain more control. And while that is true to a certain extent, when you are first starting out, it is definitely not 9-5, especially if you want to be a success and there are times when it seems your business controls you, not the other way around.
What's your thoughts on this topic? Have you found balance? What do you do? Let me know, and who knows, I may be able to weave it into my presentation!!
Empowering Women
On Friday I had the opportunity to attend and participate in the Empowering Women event hosted by the Board of Trade.
Over 700 women attended this event and they had an impressive line up of speakers to provoke, challenge and start us think differently - about the environment, mental illness, politics and the proverbial glass ceiling.
Justin Trudeau was the opening speaker and with his good looks and charm, it was easy to stay awake, despite the early hour, to listen to what he had to say. I was impressed by how poised and eloquent he was as he spoke passionately about today's youth and our environment. Next came his mother, Margaret, who shared her struggles with mental illness and glimpse of her life with Pierre Trudeau.
The panel of women in politics was vibrant and provocative. Although the women were from different parties, you got the sense, that they at least, would be able to work together. Mary-Ann Chambers, was a refreshing change, still clear on her role and not jaded (yet) by politics.
Helen Johns, someone I had worked for in the past, brought up an interesting point that the behaviour in the House had deteriorated with the arrival of TV tapings. Instead of dealing with the issues at hand, too much time was spent on posturing and showing off for the cameras.
Normally, the crowd can be a bit sleepy after lunch, but no chance of that with comedienne, Jessica Holmes, who had the audience in stitches with her dramatic take of Celine Dion. Next was the moving story of Carol Ann, a woman who had survived a dire childhood to successfully run a multi-million business in Vancouver. Her story served to remind you of the tenacity of some individuals to overcome unsurmountable odds.
The afternoon ended with a panel of women who have broken the glass ceiling - either within their corporation or through starting their own business venture. This panel was probably the low point of the day. I had taken my daughters to this event, wanting to expose them to the issues facing women, but neither were impressed with the challenges facing women in the corporate world.
It was clear from the women on the panel, that they had made choices and sacrifices to get to where they were, while for many of us, those choices were not an option or something we would consider in our pursuit for success. It might have been more real to hear from middle-managers who want to move ahead, but are stuck because of the lack of opportunities and mentoring available to them.
All told however, it was a wonderful day and the Toronto Board of Trade is to be commended for bringing such a wealth of experience and expertise into one venue.
On Friday I had the opportunity to attend and participate in the Empowering Women event hosted by the Board of Trade.
Over 700 women attended this event and they had an impressive line up of speakers to provoke, challenge and start us think differently - about the environment, mental illness, politics and the proverbial glass ceiling.
Justin Trudeau was the opening speaker and with his good looks and charm, it was easy to stay awake, despite the early hour, to listen to what he had to say. I was impressed by how poised and eloquent he was as he spoke passionately about today's youth and our environment. Next came his mother, Margaret, who shared her struggles with mental illness and glimpse of her life with Pierre Trudeau.
The panel of women in politics was vibrant and provocative. Although the women were from different parties, you got the sense, that they at least, would be able to work together. Mary-Ann Chambers, was a refreshing change, still clear on her role and not jaded (yet) by politics.
Helen Johns, someone I had worked for in the past, brought up an interesting point that the behaviour in the House had deteriorated with the arrival of TV tapings. Instead of dealing with the issues at hand, too much time was spent on posturing and showing off for the cameras.
Normally, the crowd can be a bit sleepy after lunch, but no chance of that with comedienne, Jessica Holmes, who had the audience in stitches with her dramatic take of Celine Dion. Next was the moving story of Carol Ann, a woman who had survived a dire childhood to successfully run a multi-million business in Vancouver. Her story served to remind you of the tenacity of some individuals to overcome unsurmountable odds.
The afternoon ended with a panel of women who have broken the glass ceiling - either within their corporation or through starting their own business venture. This panel was probably the low point of the day. I had taken my daughters to this event, wanting to expose them to the issues facing women, but neither were impressed with the challenges facing women in the corporate world.
It was clear from the women on the panel, that they had made choices and sacrifices to get to where they were, while for many of us, those choices were not an option or something we would consider in our pursuit for success. It might have been more real to hear from middle-managers who want to move ahead, but are stuck because of the lack of opportunities and mentoring available to them.
All told however, it was a wonderful day and the Toronto Board of Trade is to be commended for bringing such a wealth of experience and expertise into one venue.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
In the past I have always tried to see the best in people, but lately my faith has been sorely tested.
Take the 20 copies of Courage to Succeed that I provided on consignment to a women's group, on the understanding that as they sold, the money would be paid. Well over a year has lapsed and while I have tried on several occasions to get the status on book sales, and better still, some funds or the books back, I've been thwarted at every turn and given the run-around. So what started out as a supportive gesture, has turned into a costly mistake. Clearly, I totally misjudged the character of the individual involved and frankly I feel I've been taken for a ride. Who knows where this will end - maybe in court - but regardless, it leaves me with a sour taste and a more cynical perspective. I won't be so generous the next time someone asks for a favour.
Then there's someone who is bad-mouthing me, and worse still, lying about a situation to anyone who asks. Again - what's the answer? I've always believed in staying professional, in taking the high road and letting business disagreements stay where they belong, between those parties involved. But it's hard when others don't operate under the same rules and values. Do you enter the fray and get down to their level? Or do you just walk away, with your dignity in tact? In this instance, it's much easier to let it go. It costs too much in negative energy to pursue it further, and as someone pointed out...people who know me, know who to believe.
At times it does seem like a dog-eat-dog world out there, but personally I don't have the appetite for it.
PS - March 2nd. After much reflection, I have decided to let go my pursuit of getting my money or books back. My only hope is that the books have gone to women who will be inspired by the stories.
Take the 20 copies of Courage to Succeed that I provided on consignment to a women's group, on the understanding that as they sold, the money would be paid. Well over a year has lapsed and while I have tried on several occasions to get the status on book sales, and better still, some funds or the books back, I've been thwarted at every turn and given the run-around. So what started out as a supportive gesture, has turned into a costly mistake. Clearly, I totally misjudged the character of the individual involved and frankly I feel I've been taken for a ride. Who knows where this will end - maybe in court - but regardless, it leaves me with a sour taste and a more cynical perspective. I won't be so generous the next time someone asks for a favour.
Then there's someone who is bad-mouthing me, and worse still, lying about a situation to anyone who asks. Again - what's the answer? I've always believed in staying professional, in taking the high road and letting business disagreements stay where they belong, between those parties involved. But it's hard when others don't operate under the same rules and values. Do you enter the fray and get down to their level? Or do you just walk away, with your dignity in tact? In this instance, it's much easier to let it go. It costs too much in negative energy to pursue it further, and as someone pointed out...people who know me, know who to believe.
At times it does seem like a dog-eat-dog world out there, but personally I don't have the appetite for it.
PS - March 2nd. After much reflection, I have decided to let go my pursuit of getting my money or books back. My only hope is that the books have gone to women who will be inspired by the stories.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
This week I have been reminded of the fragility of life. None of us really knows what tomorrow will bring.
Certainly that is true for two people I know. One has just learned that her son - a young twenty-something, has an aggressive form of leukemia. With a young family of his own, he has a tough battle ahead of him. And as a parent, my thoughts are with his parents, because we just never want anything bad to happen to our kids.
Then yesterday I woke to a call from a girlfriend whose sister had just been contacted and informed that they had a kidney for her. In other words, they were offering her a new lease on life if she was willing to grab it. And she did. They scurried through all the prep work and last night, she received a new kidney. Exciting and scary at the same time. The next few days will be crucial but what a brave, life-changing decision she made.
So as you go about your day, be grateful and say a few prayers for those whose lives have changed - for the better or worse, in the blink of a second.
Certainly that is true for two people I know. One has just learned that her son - a young twenty-something, has an aggressive form of leukemia. With a young family of his own, he has a tough battle ahead of him. And as a parent, my thoughts are with his parents, because we just never want anything bad to happen to our kids.
Then yesterday I woke to a call from a girlfriend whose sister had just been contacted and informed that they had a kidney for her. In other words, they were offering her a new lease on life if she was willing to grab it. And she did. They scurried through all the prep work and last night, she received a new kidney. Exciting and scary at the same time. The next few days will be crucial but what a brave, life-changing decision she made.
So as you go about your day, be grateful and say a few prayers for those whose lives have changed - for the better or worse, in the blink of a second.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
I have been following with interest the blog on the Business Challenge - especially since Judy Steed asked me to submit something - which I did. - http://thestar.blogs.com/bizchallenge
In writing up my piece, I checked to see who else had submitted comments and was horrified for Susan to see that someone (a disgruntled customer) had used this opportunity to complain about the service she'd received. A business owner's worst nightmare. It is one thing to deal with an angry client one-on-one, or even in a group - but to have to handle the situation in the public domain is another matter.
One hopes that common sense will prevail and that readers will realize that you can't please everyone. I know there are times when I wonder if women have attended the same event when I review the evaluation cards, in that some LOVED the speaker, while others thought she shouldn't give up her day job.
Part of it is people's expectations. In Susan's defence - this woman clearly expected to meet the man of her dreams through Dinnerworks, but he wasn't someone who was ten years older. But when we narrow our expectations and have rigid ideas of who is right for us - we run the risk of not meeting some interesting people, and who knows - someone who was a perfect match (if he exists - but that's a whole other topic!)
At Company of Women, I have members who almost seem to expect big business orders within seconds of handing out their business card and meeting someone for the first time. It ain't going to happen. People do business with people they know and trust, and that takes time. You have to build the relationship.
What do you think?
In writing up my piece, I checked to see who else had submitted comments and was horrified for Susan to see that someone (a disgruntled customer) had used this opportunity to complain about the service she'd received. A business owner's worst nightmare. It is one thing to deal with an angry client one-on-one, or even in a group - but to have to handle the situation in the public domain is another matter.
One hopes that common sense will prevail and that readers will realize that you can't please everyone. I know there are times when I wonder if women have attended the same event when I review the evaluation cards, in that some LOVED the speaker, while others thought she shouldn't give up her day job.
Part of it is people's expectations. In Susan's defence - this woman clearly expected to meet the man of her dreams through Dinnerworks, but he wasn't someone who was ten years older. But when we narrow our expectations and have rigid ideas of who is right for us - we run the risk of not meeting some interesting people, and who knows - someone who was a perfect match (if he exists - but that's a whole other topic!)
At Company of Women, I have members who almost seem to expect big business orders within seconds of handing out their business card and meeting someone for the first time. It ain't going to happen. People do business with people they know and trust, and that takes time. You have to build the relationship.
What do you think?
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The law of attraction... everyone is talking about it. Have you seen The Secret? people ask.
As someone who has always been the eternal optimist, I find it exciting to hear that others are now finding merit in not only being positive, but in sending out to the universe what you want out of life. Much has been written about how when we focus on what's wrong; not working, what we don't want - we just get more of the same. So changing your attitude, changes the outcome.
I've often been told that I am lucky... and yes, I am. But you know what... part of that luck comes from taking risks and putting myself out there.
Case in point, there was an interesting article in The Toronto Star two weeks ago about ten entrepreneurs who had been selected from hundreds to be blessed with a coach and business advisor for four months. As I read about the entrepreneurs, I found myself truly identifying with one of the winners - Susan Kates, who runs a successful business - Dinnerworks, a networking group for singles.
Like Company of Women, Dinnerworks was attracting lots of people and from all appearances seemed like a growing concern. However, like Company of Women, it's labour intensive and hard to eke out a profit. So I was interested to learn how Susan plans to turn this around.
I am always encouraging people to connect, so I took my own advice and contacted Susan. Within a couple of days we'd met, brainstormed and shared ideas, with a promise to stay in touch. It was good to talk to someone who faced similar challenges and issues, but who also loved what she was doing.
This week when the Toronto Star reports back on what has been happening with Susan... lo and behold, Company of Women is mentioned, with our website and date of next dinner and the reporter now wants to connect with me.
So the moral of my story is... when your intuition tells you to connect with someone... do. You just never know where it will lead, and what's the worst that can happen - they don't return your call. Hey, then they don't know what they are missing.
As someone who has always been the eternal optimist, I find it exciting to hear that others are now finding merit in not only being positive, but in sending out to the universe what you want out of life. Much has been written about how when we focus on what's wrong; not working, what we don't want - we just get more of the same. So changing your attitude, changes the outcome.
I've often been told that I am lucky... and yes, I am. But you know what... part of that luck comes from taking risks and putting myself out there.
Case in point, there was an interesting article in The Toronto Star two weeks ago about ten entrepreneurs who had been selected from hundreds to be blessed with a coach and business advisor for four months. As I read about the entrepreneurs, I found myself truly identifying with one of the winners - Susan Kates, who runs a successful business - Dinnerworks, a networking group for singles.
Like Company of Women, Dinnerworks was attracting lots of people and from all appearances seemed like a growing concern. However, like Company of Women, it's labour intensive and hard to eke out a profit. So I was interested to learn how Susan plans to turn this around.
I am always encouraging people to connect, so I took my own advice and contacted Susan. Within a couple of days we'd met, brainstormed and shared ideas, with a promise to stay in touch. It was good to talk to someone who faced similar challenges and issues, but who also loved what she was doing.
This week when the Toronto Star reports back on what has been happening with Susan... lo and behold, Company of Women is mentioned, with our website and date of next dinner and the reporter now wants to connect with me.
So the moral of my story is... when your intuition tells you to connect with someone... do. You just never know where it will lead, and what's the worst that can happen - they don't return your call. Hey, then they don't know what they are missing.
Friday, January 05, 2007
New Year, new start - that's certainly how it feels. By the end of 2006, I was feeling a bit depleted after a hectic fall. So it was good to take a break, visit with friends and family and get a fresh perspective over the holiday season.
It is usually hard for me to switch off ... but I was more than ready to do so when December 21st rolled round. Can highly recommend it, as I am back at my desk after that 10 day break, full of energy and enthusiasm again.
Yesterday I received a lovely email from a woman in New York who has just started her business and advised me that Company of Women had inspired her to do so! We all should get such positive feedback. It served to remind me that while we don't hear back from everyone whose lives we've touched... we are making a difference.
It is usually hard for me to switch off ... but I was more than ready to do so when December 21st rolled round. Can highly recommend it, as I am back at my desk after that 10 day break, full of energy and enthusiasm again.
Yesterday I received a lovely email from a woman in New York who has just started her business and advised me that Company of Women had inspired her to do so! We all should get such positive feedback. It served to remind me that while we don't hear back from everyone whose lives we've touched... we are making a difference.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Are you ready?
That's the question I keep hearing as I rush around trying to finish my shopping. This year the holiday season seems to have crept up on us and I, for one, am WAY behind.
Usually I have the cards ready to go around the time of the Grey Cup, but this year I am still writing them. I always like to enclose a letter, especially for those overseas and equally enjoy getting one back. Some letters are so humourous and you can just picture the scenes described. Others seem like a testimonial and it leaves you wondering if anything real ever happens in those households. And others send photos which helps you visualize your friends in other parts of the world and they don't seem so far away.
It's a time for family, friends and fellowship. Yet, for those who have just lost a loved one, it can be a heart-wrenching period, with their loss so raw and painful. We have some friends who have just lost their second daughter, two deaths within a short period of time. It doesn't seem fair and you just know this will be a tough time for them. As the mother of two daughters myself, I can't even begin to imagine their pain.
For others, it may be job loss or a divorce that changes the family dynamic and for some people who are always alone, this time of year is no different for them.
Many of us can afford to do something beyond our own family. This year, we became the secret Santa for two children who'd stayed at Nellie's, the shelter in Toronto. It was fun to shop and choose gifts that you knew they'd enjoy and yes, it does make you feel good; that you're doing something concrete to make some children happy.
We can all do something - dropping change into the Salvation Army Kettle; helping a family in need or inviting someone on their own to join you for dinner... Whatever ... let's get into the holiday spirit, because the true joy is in giving, not receiving.
That's the question I keep hearing as I rush around trying to finish my shopping. This year the holiday season seems to have crept up on us and I, for one, am WAY behind.
Usually I have the cards ready to go around the time of the Grey Cup, but this year I am still writing them. I always like to enclose a letter, especially for those overseas and equally enjoy getting one back. Some letters are so humourous and you can just picture the scenes described. Others seem like a testimonial and it leaves you wondering if anything real ever happens in those households. And others send photos which helps you visualize your friends in other parts of the world and they don't seem so far away.
It's a time for family, friends and fellowship. Yet, for those who have just lost a loved one, it can be a heart-wrenching period, with their loss so raw and painful. We have some friends who have just lost their second daughter, two deaths within a short period of time. It doesn't seem fair and you just know this will be a tough time for them. As the mother of two daughters myself, I can't even begin to imagine their pain.
For others, it may be job loss or a divorce that changes the family dynamic and for some people who are always alone, this time of year is no different for them.
Many of us can afford to do something beyond our own family. This year, we became the secret Santa for two children who'd stayed at Nellie's, the shelter in Toronto. It was fun to shop and choose gifts that you knew they'd enjoy and yes, it does make you feel good; that you're doing something concrete to make some children happy.
We can all do something - dropping change into the Salvation Army Kettle; helping a family in need or inviting someone on their own to join you for dinner... Whatever ... let's get into the holiday spirit, because the true joy is in giving, not receiving.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
This week I had an ‘aha’ moment.
For a few months now I have been struggling to determine the best direction to take Company of Women. Of course, we could just stay the course, but I’ve never been one to stand still.
Expanding to other communities is one option and I certainly get my share of requests, or we could offer more programs to service the members we already have and to some extent this fall we have done that. But it doesn't seem enough.
It wasn’t until I was in a conversation with a couple of members about ATHENA, that the light bulb went on. As our talk evolved about the importance of young women learning leadership skills, I realized that what was missing for me in both my volunteer work and in Company of Women, was my need to make a meaningful difference.
Later in the week, when I was interviewing for new interns, I could see that we had a role to play in mentoring these young women, helping them to gain the confidence and skills to succeed. Powerful stuff.
End conclusion - Company of Women doesn’t need to grow bigger or broader – it needs go deeper. Personally I need to see first hand that our involvement is making a difference – whether it is through a mentoring program or a special award for a young woman entrepreneur or establishing a business hub that supports women new to business – the ideas are endless. So stay tuned… and if you have some ideas to throw into the pot… let me know.
For a few months now I have been struggling to determine the best direction to take Company of Women. Of course, we could just stay the course, but I’ve never been one to stand still.
Expanding to other communities is one option and I certainly get my share of requests, or we could offer more programs to service the members we already have and to some extent this fall we have done that. But it doesn't seem enough.
It wasn’t until I was in a conversation with a couple of members about ATHENA, that the light bulb went on. As our talk evolved about the importance of young women learning leadership skills, I realized that what was missing for me in both my volunteer work and in Company of Women, was my need to make a meaningful difference.
Later in the week, when I was interviewing for new interns, I could see that we had a role to play in mentoring these young women, helping them to gain the confidence and skills to succeed. Powerful stuff.
End conclusion - Company of Women doesn’t need to grow bigger or broader – it needs go deeper. Personally I need to see first hand that our involvement is making a difference – whether it is through a mentoring program or a special award for a young woman entrepreneur or establishing a business hub that supports women new to business – the ideas are endless. So stay tuned… and if you have some ideas to throw into the pot… let me know.
Last week we had Marg Hachey of Duocom as our guest speaker. Her topic was adapting to change and as she outlined the changes in technology that her business has faced, you knew she'd walked her talk.
From selling overhead projectors to web-conferencing, Marg's company has transformed itself several times over, changing to adapt to the different needs of its customers and the growing reliance on technology as a global communication tool.
As she outlined her strategies, it was quickly evident why Marg is #11 in the top 100 women entrepreneurs in Canada - she's savvy, she listens and she stays ahead of the trends. But what the audience perhaps most appreciated was her down-to-earth, common sense approach.
Her story is inspiring. Married at 18, a mother of two sons by 23, she wasn't sure what she wanted to do when she had both the boys in school. She started off selling Avon and discovered she had a real talent for sales. Soon she was heading up a large team of sales staff but she knew she needed something more.
It was then that she started selling overhead projectors... for someone else. When she started her own business, it quickly grew and she now has eight offices across Canada and her technicians can be found at most of the major events in Canada. When her sales reached $52 million, she decided it was time to sell which she did to a US firm. Within three years, they had bankrupted the company and Marg knew she had to rescue her firm, so she bought it back.
The entire family now works in Duocom - her husband and her two sons. This truly is a family business and with Marg at the helm, you know they are destined to succeed once again
From selling overhead projectors to web-conferencing, Marg's company has transformed itself several times over, changing to adapt to the different needs of its customers and the growing reliance on technology as a global communication tool.
As she outlined her strategies, it was quickly evident why Marg is #11 in the top 100 women entrepreneurs in Canada - she's savvy, she listens and she stays ahead of the trends. But what the audience perhaps most appreciated was her down-to-earth, common sense approach.
Her story is inspiring. Married at 18, a mother of two sons by 23, she wasn't sure what she wanted to do when she had both the boys in school. She started off selling Avon and discovered she had a real talent for sales. Soon she was heading up a large team of sales staff but she knew she needed something more.
It was then that she started selling overhead projectors... for someone else. When she started her own business, it quickly grew and she now has eight offices across Canada and her technicians can be found at most of the major events in Canada. When her sales reached $52 million, she decided it was time to sell which she did to a US firm. Within three years, they had bankrupted the company and Marg knew she had to rescue her firm, so she bought it back.
The entire family now works in Duocom - her husband and her two sons. This truly is a family business and with Marg at the helm, you know they are destined to succeed once again
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