Get a life

What do you do for yourself ? our speaker was asked.  Silence, as it hit her that she did nothing that was just for her.  She had no hobbies. No life.  It was all about work, making the business work, making money. And when you have employees depending on you to pay them, the  pressure is really on.

You could see that her words were resonating with the women in the audience, likely they were asking themselves the same question, and coming up with similar answers. It is hard to eke out some time for yourself, because if it is not the business, it’s the family, your home, your parents….the list goes on and on.

I often find that I get most support from meeting up with girlfriends, and yet even that time can get lost in the shuffle as the demands of business take their toll on my personal life.

A couple of years ago I decided “enough” and I started taking my Fridays off.  I’d set up to have lunch with a friend, go for a massage, or hair cut.   I made it so it wasn’t so easy to get out of this date with myself.   And while some months I don’t quite manage it, I have been fairly loyal to this plan, because it works and I feel so much better when I switch off and become just me, Anne Day.  Not Anne Day, business owner, wife, mother, dog owner, volunteer…

When you lose sight of yourself, it can be hard to remember who you really are or what you enjoy doing.  What did you like to do pre-business, before kids?  Maybe you need to tap into those interests again.  Having a good laugh with girlfriends can sustain me for weeks. 

What I do know for sure, is that working 24/7 is not good for anyone – you, your family or your business.  We all need to take a break – be it ten minutes a day just to take a walk, because when you do, you’re better able to get the work done, and still feel alive in your own life.

Don’t be alone when you own

So often, women who start their own businesses, no matter how small, find themselves isolated in their decision.  Family and friends don’t seem to understand the time, commitment and all-consuming passion that is needed to succeed in the world of commerce and feel that pursuing a profession would be a much more honorable and financially beneficial undertaking.

That can make your business choices somewhat lonely and for those determined to succeed, means you must be even more focused on achieving your goals, despite the opposition you may feel or worse, total denial by loved ones of the path you have chosen for yourself. It is hard when those nearest and dearest don’t get what you have decided to do and where you have chosen to focus your energies.

Not only does it make it difficult to share your challenges, but there seems little interest in anything to do with your business, to the point that you don’t talk about it, which is hard when that is where you spend all your time and energy. It is almost as if you don’t exist.  Bottom line, you have to rely on yourself – which is not necessarily a bad thing -  because at the end of the day, the only person who truly cares about what you do, should be you.

Here’s a few pointers to overcome that sense that you are alone.

• ·      Surround yourself with people who do believe in you.
• ·      Connect with other women who are on similar paths, as you can support each other.
• ·      Stay focused on what you want to achieve.
• ·      Build a network of business owners with whom you can work and form business alliances.
• ·      Develop affirmations and repeat them daily so you start to believe in your own potential.

Because, if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to do so?  All of us have times of self-doubt when we question our sanity and ability to achieve the goals we have set for ourselves. 

But you don’t have to go it alone.