Women as leaders - we have what it takes

This week I was asked to step in at the last minute to be on a panel on women and leadership.

As I read through the questions, they provoked all sorts of flashbacks to a murky leadership past, especially given I had to talk about the leadership lessons I had learned the hard way.

My first thought was that, like many women, I never actually saw myself as a leader, more someone who saw that something needed to be done, and I would forge ahead and do it.

Even when I received a leadership award back in 1999, I felt an imposter and that I would get caught out.  As part of the ATHENA Award I was sent to a leadership conference, and I almost wish I could go back now, as I believe I would get more out of it, now that I have assumed and accepted the leadership mantle.

So what did I learn the hard way?  I’ve chaired several boards – at the local and national level, and early on when I was President of one national board, I made some pretty naïve decisions, consulting only with the Executive Director, before I announced what we were going to do as an organization.

I am embarrassed to admit that I was so autocratic back then.  It never crossed my mind that I should ask the other board members what they thought, probably because I knew intuitively they wouldn’t agree with me. 

 Fast forward to today, with a team of 11 working with me, I know only too well that you have to collaborate, ask for feedback, even if the opinions are different to your own and be prepared to not always get your own way.  After all who says that you are always right and being open to new ideas and approaches can take your organization further.

Part of fostering a strong team is listening.  Learning more about the other person’s interests, skills and what motivates them.  It is all about getting the right people on the bus, in the right seats.  And sometimes you have to re-arrange the seating plan so you capture the true potential of everyone.

One of the questions I was asked was how do women develop their leadership skills and I know for myself it was through volunteering – both in the workplace and in the community. At work, I would volunteer to take on/lead big projects and in my spare time, I would serve on boards of charities that I believed in.

The other aspect of leadership to consider is that you are a role model and so you should be living to your values, demonstrating integrity and walking your talk.

Having presented thousands of leadership awards, the ATHENA Foundation undertook research to discover what were the common traits of the recipients. They discovered they were:  being authentic, valuing relationships, giving back, collaboration, courageous acts, learning, fierce advocacy, celebration and joy

Check this list, I am sure many of you already have these attributes, but like me,   perhaps you don’t see yourself as a leader – but you are. 

Step into your role and lead the way.  As women we have what it takes to lead.

The value of volunteering

Do you volunteer?   I think I have always volunteered – even in high school I was the editor of the school newsletter – which in hindsight, shows that I was on the right path in my career choices.

In my volunteer career I have done the gamut from being a volunteer probation officer, group leader for the Children’s Aid Society, gala event co-ordinator, served on committees, been a board member at the local, national and international levels, chaired boards – from a women’s shelter to a national board and am currently editor of our local newspaper.

You could say I am a professional volunteer.  I often joke that I must have written across my forehead – “works hard.”   But you know while giving back is rewarding, what you gain in return is way, way, more.  So it is not always that altruistic as you learn new skills, broaden your network and I even furthered my career because of my volunteer involvement.

What spurred me on write this blog though is the realization that my latest volunteer activity is probably one of the most rewarding, and yet really takes little from me except my time, which granted is a precious commodity.  What am I doing?    I am doing a shift once a week at our local Salvation Army to sort donations for the incoming refugees to Guelph.

I think one of the reasons I like it, is frankly it doesn’t require too much of my brain power which is in short supply these days as I juggle two businesses and yet, I know without the help of volunteers like myself, it would be even more chaotic for the families arriving. 

Yes, it is physically tiring as you are standing for four hours and moving stuff, but to my mind, it is the least we can do and I leave feeling a sense of satisfaction that I made a dent in the overwhelming mounds of clothing that have come in. 

We all volunteer for different reasons and if you’ve never explored helping out with a cause you believe in – try it.  You will broaden your perspective. 

If you are going through a tough time yourself, try it.  You will realize that there may be people way worse off than you and it takes the focus away from your issues. 

And if you are out of work, try it.  You’ll learn new skills to add to your resume and maybe even discover new talents and a career to pursue.

You get a warm feeling inside knowing that you’ve made a difference. There is a quote I like – “all that we give into the lives of others, comes back into our own.”

Giving back

National Volunteer Week is just behind us and over the years, I have done my share of volunteering.  To be honest, I have gained way more than I have ever given.

Here are just some of the lessons I have learned along the way.

1.             There’s more than one way to help someone

As a volunteer probation officer, I was assigned to a young lad who was into motor bikes, especially those that didn’t belong to him.  I can’t say it was an easy match.  

I connected more with his parents, and in the end, it was through working with them, that I was able to support him.

2.             Small things make a difference

Early in my volunteer career, I used to run a mothers’ group for Children’s Aid.  I had this Pollyanna approach that I was going to “save” the women which I soon realized was so not the case. So I lowered my expectations, and was content if a woman wore lipstick one week, as that meant she was feeling better about herself. 

3.             People show you what they want you to see

It was through the mothers’ group that I learned this important lesson. I had been showing the mothers how to do crafts at home inexpensively, with shaving cream and food colouring. 

One woman refused to do it. It turns out that if she’d gone home smelling of shaving cream, she would “pay” for it.  (We later hooked her up to the local shelter and helped her on her escape plan.)

4.             Words are powerful

As a “reporter” for a newsletter – Halt-on-Abuse – I was fortunate to be mentored by the editor, who was my first teacher on the importance of words and how with the right ones, you can have an impact.

5.             Mutual respect and a shared vision makes things happen

I have served on numerous boards, and when they work well, much of it is due to people respecting each other, the contributions and talents shared and have a common vision of what has to be done.  When that is not in place, it is tough and often the group is doomed to fail.

6.             You can’t always win

As an entrepreneur I am used to making my decisions without too much consultation.  That strategy doesn’t work when you are part of a volunteer team, each with an equal voice on what happens.  So not only does it take longer to reach consensus, but you don’t always get your own way.  Sometimes you have to go with the flow.

7.             You don’t know where it will lead

Several times in my career, I have stepped up and taken leadership roles within an association.   Little did I know that as a result, I would have exciting work opportunities come my way such as Editor of Today’s Parent.

8.             You broaden your network

I have met people from around the world as a result of my volunteer work.  Folks I would never have met except for our common interest in the organization that recruited us as volunteers.

9.             Know when to leave

No matter how much you may believe in the cause, there are times when the frustrations and dysfunction make it impossible to stay involved.  That’s when you have to step back and ask yourself if your contribution is worth the personal grief involved.  It may be time to leave and share your expertise elsewhere.

10.         Bottom line, it has to be fun

I have made some wonderful friends through my volunteer work and to me that is one of the biggest gains.  If you are not learning, growing and having fun, then it may not be a good match.