When you lead well, people will follow

I recently attended the retirement party of a friend and former colleague, Mary Beth.  Over 150 people turned out to bid her farewell.   She had been running her department with a large team for over 17 years, mainly with the same management team, which speaks to her leadership skills.  

How did she do that?  Well from my observations, she consistently worked with integrity.  She cared about her staff, the parents and children who came under her domain.  She treated everyone with respect and valued other people’s opinions, even when they contradicted her own beliefs.  And maybe most important of all, she had a great sense of humour and loved to have fun.

So as a leader or manager, how can you achieve this?

Take an interest in your team

One of her managers told me that she spent the first one-on-one meetings with her answering questions about herself, her family and her goals.  She was surprised and had expected that they’d leap right into business and talk about the issues.  Get to know the people who are working with you.

Ask questions

This is one that I observed myself.  When one of the staff would have a challenge and come to her for help, instead of giving her an answer, she’d throw it back at the staff member and ask what she thought was the solution.  What would she advise?  

She didn’t make herself out to be the expert, the keeper of all solutions.  Instead she encouraged her employee to think for herself and at the same time, conveyed that she was respected and her opinion valued.

Be inclusive

It can be all too easy, especially in government, to take a silo approach to solving problems or getting a project off the ground.  By that I mean that often departments get somewhat territorial about what falls under their domain, and so they don’t reach out and involve others, they hold the reigns of power and control tight.

My buddy, on the other hand, was always quick to invite others to the table, recognizing that there was strength in involving others and bringing in fresh perspectives.  Early on she started a multi-disciplinary network that included many players from different sectors, and to this day, it works well, always putting the needs of children first.

Party time

Maybe it was because she worked with children, but there was always some party or gathering in the works, so that staff could come together and have fun.  It was a chance to play and let go some of the stresses of the work.

And clearly she’d taught them well as the animated video her management team produced to say goodbye and pay tribute to her, was clever and funny as they poked fun at themselves.  They were following her lead as she’d given them permission to play and laugh while on the job.

After an illustrious career spanning over 40 years, Mary Beth’s retirement is well earned.  She has led the way and now the mantle has been handed over. 

While her colleagues will miss her, I actually gain – because now she will have time for that breakfast we kept promising to have. 

Now we get to play.

Exit strategies

This week I sadly witnessed what happens when someone stays on past their sell- by -date. As I listened to this individual, I felt myself cringing and feeling embarrassed for him.  This is not the way to leave your career when for most of it you have been revered and respected by your peers.

When you are a business founder, how do you know when it is time to hand over the reigns to the next generation of leaders?  How do you know when you should retire or move on?

As a social entrepreneur, I have started several organizations – most in the non-profit sector.  Each time my departure has been a heart-felt decision, but I kept the wise words of a friend in mind.  He advised that when the founder is coming up with projects that are fitting his or her needs, not those of the organization, then it is time to go. 

I know in one instance, I was bored so I was constantly looking for some new shiny thing to work on, when what the organization desperately needed was to stabilize and put the systems in place so it could function efficiently.  Once I realized that I was hurting the very organization I had lovingly help start, I left.

But sometimes the decision is sort of made for you and you are ousted out of your leadership position. Perhaps you have overstayed your welcome, or your vision is no longer shared by key stakeholders.  Now that can be painful, but you move on and with time recognize what you could have done differently. 

Listening to the cues and paying attention to what others are saying, or more to the point, not saying can guide you to make that difficult decision that it is time to leave. 

When it is your business, and it’s no longer fun, and it feels like work, hard work, maybe it is time to re-examine your goals and direction.  Maybe it is time to come up with some exit strategies.  Are you going to sell the business?  Is there someone internally who might take over?  Or do you just close shop?  Whatever your decision, know that it takes time to orchestrate, if you want your departure to be done seamlessly.

What you want to avoid is what many of us witnessed this week, with your reputation in tatters and that last memory unfavourable.

No.  What we all want is to retire gracefully at our prime, with a successful career/business behind us.

Prime time

It’s my birthday and I love all the celebrations planned which will last for more than a week as I get wined and dined by family and friends. Perhaps it is because as someone who first had cancer at 39, I take each year as a bonus and I am just pleased to still be here to celebrate.

I realize as I get older that I am supposed to stop counting the years but you know what, I am pretty proud of reaching this milestone of 62.  I mean when I think of my mother at this age, she seemed old, a real senior citizen. Not me.  Like many women of my age, I still have lots I want to do and achieve.

Reaching this third chapter in my life, I’ve been reflecting on exactly how I want to spend my time. There was a point, to be honest, when I considered retiring, of selling Company of Women and “sailing off into the sunset”, but you know what, that’s not what I want to do, it was more what I thought was expected of me when I turned 60.

And therein lies the truth.  Sixty, sixty-two -- they are just numbers.  Many of my friends have chosen to retire or semi-retire, and good for them, but that’s not for me. As reality is, no matter what your age – it is essential you be true to yourself.   I cherish and welcome the opportunity to explore new horizons. To stop working would feel like an amputation, like I would be cut off from the world I know and love. Clearly I have some work to do on my identity, because I am not my business.  I guess I am still a work in progress.

Like many women, I used to care far too much about what other people thought, but as I’ve got older, I’ve realized that this crone has some wise words to share and maybe I need to speak up more, say what I think and share the wisdom I have garnered, sometimes the hard way, from living my life.

So stay tuned, as I truly reach my prime. Who knows what this third chapter will bring.