A cautionary tale

“Flattery will get you everywhere.”  Well that almost worked with me, I humbly confess. It is amazing how your ego can trip you up.

It all started with an email saying I had been selected as a “woman of outstanding leadership.”  I was then invited to take my “place among other remarkable women: you have earned it and you deserve it.”  OK – I’ve worked hard – why not.  So I click on and sign up for their free registration.

But… and here’s the catch, a few weeks later I get THE call. I’d frankly totally forgotten about signing up but the woman on the phone mentioned it, wanted to hear my story…( more stroking of my ego)… offering opportunities to highlight me in their magazine.

Then comes the crunch… $700 plus to join.   I thought it was free? With great persistence the sales gal carried on to say since I was so special (read reluctant to shell out $700+) she’d do me a favour and offer payments by two installments. 

Still I resisted and then the price went down. But like a broken record, she continues to try and close.  What level of membership did I want x or y?  She’d ask over and over again.

I am embarrassed to report I caved in, and signed up.  She was wearing me down and I didn’t know, short of hanging up, how to extricate myself. But just a few seconds later, I totally regretted it and started to question myself … Why did I let myself get suckered into this? I don’t have money to burn. What was I thinking?. I spent quite some time berating myself.

When I looked into their website I could see a group of women who likely had also been coerced into this purchase.    Well not me. Quoting the Ontario law whereby you have ten days to legally cancel contracts, I got out of it.   

Then two days later, I receive the same email that started it all.  It is in my junk mail – where it rightly belongs. I guess I am still considered a woman of outstanding leadership J

So if something like this arrives in your inbox – my advice – delete..  Don’t get caught in a scam that plays to your ego.  Leave your ego at the door and say no.

As for me, I’ve been there, done that and embarrassingly getting rid of the T-shirt.

Telling your story to win business

When someone asks you how are things, how do you answer?  So often we say busy, busy, busy.  But what does that tell them about you or your business?

Instead, at our recent breakfast meeting we explored ways to tell our story, and how to use a story that would showcase what we do and how well we do it.

We started by finding five adjectives that describe our special skill sets, and then the women had to come up with a story that accurately illustrated those skills or areas of expertise.  Sounds simple, but perhaps not.  Part of it is that as women we’ve been programmed not to toot our own horn.  Bragging is inappropriate.  Yet, it don’t share our talents, how will anyone know?

In her book, Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It, author Peggy Klaus shares how to artfully communicate your talents and accomplishments without feeling or sounding like a walking billboard.   “But before you sell anything, she says, you’ve got to first sell yourself in a personal and memorable way.”

She encourages people to be their best, authentic self and to use meaningful and entertaining stories.  Klaus recommends keeping it short and simple and to talk to the person, not at them.

Much is written about describing the features and benefits of what you do and there is some confusion about which is which.  Most business owners tend to talk in features, while potential customers are listening for benefits. Features describe the actual services your product or program provides, whereas benefits are all about the benefits to the customer and how you will relieve their pain or stress.

But recently I heard of another way to approach the sales pitch, and it is one that makes sense to me.  Instead of listing benefits, take time think about the value you bring to your potential client.  For example, people are looking for ways to:

• ·      Make money
• ·      Save money
• ·      Save time
• ·      Ease and simplicity
• ·      Live the dream

If you can package your pitch (story) to cover some of these values, then you are one step nearer to closing the deal.

Back to the story telling, one way we discussed to introduce stories at a networking meeting, was to bring a friend.  Brief her ahead of time, and let her share your success story. Somehow when it comes from someone else, it seems less salesy.

However, ask the other person about themselves first.  When you show interest in what they do, in turn, they will be more willing to learn more about you.

As management guru John Maxwell says “The key is to self promote by sharing your passion and vision with grace and dignity.”

WHO ARE YOU?

Hilary Clinton. Meryl Streep.  Jennifer Anniston. The Queen. Who most represents your personality and style of communication?  That was the question we were asked at a recent Company of Women breakfast by speaker Barbara Morris.

What followed was a fascinating discussion about communication styles.  Take Hilary Clinton – she’s assertive, direct and to the point, so any sales chat with her needs to be focused, researched and succinct.  Jennifer Anniston on the other hand is fun and hard to nail down, so you would want to be sure to warm up to the sales pitch, tell stories, meet somewhere fun to set the stage for the discussion.

As for Meryl Streep, she’s calm, focused on harmony and understated.  Building relationships is important to her, so you might want to ask about her family.   However,  the Queen is driven by her sense of duty, honour and routine -  all of which have made her life make sense.  You would want to be on time, bring the facts and do your homework so you can answer questions, get to the point and close the sale.

Like other personality tests such as True Colours or Personality Dimensions, this approach helps to de-personalize communication issues which is why you need to not only understand your communication style, but that of others.  When you can talk their language and speak in a way that makes sense to them, you are more likely to be understood and in business, close the deal. 

But it takes practice, because at first, like learning any new language, it seems foreign to you.