Mentoring magic

“One of the greatest values of mentors is their ability to see ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination.” — John C. Maxwell

When I was in government I was fortunate enough to have a manager who did just that.  She saw my potential long before I did and as a result would give me stretch opportunities so I could learn new skills and develop my leadership skills.

I’ve blogged about formal mentorship programs before and from my personal experience they haven’t always worked that well, much because of the matching, or lack of thought given on who would connect and work well together.   It seemed more a superficial linkage based on skill sets the mentee required.

I have even participated in an online mentoring program through which I was matched with a young university student in United Arab Emirates which was an interesting experience where I think I learned more than she did!

Over the years I have also mentored several women and each time I have chosen them.  There was some chemistry between us from the get-go and I’d seen their potential and wanted to help them get ahead.

That’s why I am so excited about the mentoring program Company of Women will be starting in January.  This past week I met up with Laurie Hunt, who has facilitated numerous mentoring programs, and who, I am thrilled to announce will be heading up our program.

Right from the very start we plan to capitalize on the synergy between the women when we do the matching.  In addition to an application form through which the women have to indicate their goals and what help they need, we are hosting a “mingle and match” event so everyone gets to meet and from there the “matching” begins.

The goal is that the mentors and mentees “meet” once a month, which can be done in person, over the phone, on Skype – whichever works best for the couple.  Touching base once or twice by email is also encouraged.  There will be webinars and other learning opportunities, as well as group face-to-face meetings during the year.

Being an entrepreneur is a solo occupation and it can be challenging to find someone who will give you impartial advice, be a sounding board and who will lend their wisdom and expertise with you.  Having a mentor means you have someone in your corner.  How cool is that.

This fall Laurie will be speaking at each of the chapters to talk more about your existing network and the mentoring program, what it is … and what it isn’t.  Like anything else, you only get out of it, what you put in.  We are also looking for mentors and if you would be interested in taking on this role, contact us.

There is a world beyond business - who knew?

How’s your summer going?  

Don’t know about you but I was more than ready to switch off, yet it’s not that easy to do is it?  I find it is only when I go away; leave the building, that I totally turn off the business switch.

That said, I am enjoying the slower pace and while I may do a little writing each day, it is not the same as the frenetic speed required for the rest of the year.

I am also spending my time with friends – people I haven’t touched base with for a while, often people who are not business connections.  That in itself is a break. Although with all my wining and dining, I am hoping I don’t pack on all the weight I have recently lostJ

But it is fun to catch up; to talk about stuff other than business.  There is a world beyond our businesses… who knew.

Come August I know I will have to get into gear… fast, but until then I am enjoying this time to get to know new friends, reacquaint myself with others and just reconnect with myself and what I want out of life.

Domestic goddess? Maybe not.

There’s nothing like company coming to get you to clean up your act.

We have guests coming in September … I know … that’s a couple of months away, but with my schedule I need to tackle stuff when I have the time.  So this long weekend I set about clearing some drawer space for them.

In one drawer I keep all the medical supplies -  my medicine cabinet if you will.  

I discovered that I have a lifetime supply of bandaids – or “plasters” as we would say in the UK.  So if you cut yourself, I have literally got you covered.

On the other hand, if you had a funny tummy. .. Well, let’s just say it’s just as well no one got sick at our place, because all the meds were so out of date, I’d have made you even sicker if I’d given you any.  

Now some were just a year out of date, but others, I am embarrassed to admit expired several years ago… like 2007.  I know, I know… it’s been a while. What can I say?  You will be pleased to hear that I’ve ditched the lot.

However, it flags a different issue for me.  No wonder pharmaceutical companies do well.  You buy a package of say Imodium, and hopefully only have to take one pill, but then the package stays untouched and it expires.  So you buy another pack, and repeat.

My question for you – am I the only one with a long-expired medicine cabinet?  Anyone else going to ‘fess up?

Ask yourself why?

What is frequently the first question we ask when faced with a challenge.  What is the problem and how can we solve it?    Many of us are quite pragmatic and just want to get it solved and move on.

But at a recent Company of Women breakfast, I learned that perhaps this wasn’t the best way to tackle problems. While I was asking the right questions, I was doing so in the wrong order.

Instead of asking what the problem was, I need to go back and ask myself why. Why is it a problem?  By probing into the why, I learn more and can generate more solutions on what to do next.  The order, explained Karen Kessler, should be why, how and then what.

To demonstrate how this works, we walked through a couple of situations, one where there was an employee that was under-performing.  When we walked through our usual way of solving problems, when we asked what – the answer was that the employee was under-performing and after weighing up the odds, it was decided to let the person go.

But when we took a step back and first asked why, to which the answer was that this person’s performance was creating delays in product delivery and impacting morale within the team – the answer became even clearer – he had to go.

While the end result was the same, you could see how when you ask why, you got to the big picture and it became much easier to make and rationalize that tough decision.

It struck me that we maybe need to ask why more often, because when we know our why, it becomes easier to stay on track.   Why do we want to explore a certain business avenue? Why do we want to write a book? Why are we procrastinating on getting something done or starting a new program?

I throw this last one in because in asking why we are procrastinating, we can dig deeper on what is holding us back.  One answer may well be that we really don’t want to do it, and if that is the case – then don’t.  Take it off your to-do list.

I remember years ago being super-hesitant about getting involved in social media.  As far as I was concerned the jury was still out on whether this was an effective way to market your business, so I procrastinated on entering this particular arena. 

Clearly I changed my mind, but at the time I was making all sorts of excuses – mainly that I didn’t have time.  Until you see the merit of taking on something new, or you can get over your fear of stepping out of your comfort zone, nothing happens.  Perhaps if I’d asked myself why, I would have stepped off the fence and started earlier

If you are hesitating on a decision, ask the question why.  It may lead you to the real reason and then you can move forward or not, but you do so having thought through the implications.

Raising sons to care

Imagine, says Anne Marie Slaughter, a race – one person has a knapsack on her back, full of weights, and the other has nothing.   Who wins?  The man, of course. 

That’s because women still have the bulk of “care” duties associated with running a home as well as holding down a career.  

It’s not the man who receive calls in the middle of important meetings that a play date has fallen through.

None of that will change until we, as a society, she went on to add, start to place value on caring and that the role doesn’t automatically fall on the women’s shoulders.

Anne Marie, author of Unfinished Business, was speaking at the Art of Leadership for Women this week in Toronto.

Her father was a lawyer, her mother an artist who also stayed home to raise her family.     However, if her mother ever said she was a homemaker, then she was dismissed as a nobody.  Being an artist on the other hand gave her some clout, regardless of whether she actually sold any paintings.

When her own sons were teenagers, Anne Marie decided to take a two-year leave from her position with the Secretary of State Office.  People really were puzzled by this decision – deciding she was either not that ambitious, or not that good at her job and had been asked to leave.  She was systematically dismissed because she was taking on the homemaking role.  

Little did they know, she jokes, that she refused to cook, sew or iron.  In fact for most of her illustrious career, her husband was the lead parent, making sure her sons got to school, activities and so on.  She was the main breadwinner and the one travelling.

Part of the problem she feels is that while times have changed, we still tend to expect boys grow up and become the breadwinners, and the girls to become wives and mothers, with a career on the side.

While we encourage our daughters to go for it and that they can be anything they want, we also need to start educating our sons that they in fact could become the “lead parent” and need to ask themselves if they are prepared to move and adapt with their partner’s career.

What women want today is it all - the power …. and the shoes. She challenged the women in the audience to visit a local bookstore and check out the Parenting and Leadership sections . The topics, she observed are very similar.  It therefore makes sense that the skills we develop as mothers, can easily be transferred to the workplace. 

Women have the management skills, but we need to develop the confidence that we have what it takes.  Let’s face it, she pointed out as mothers we are used to the unpredictable, we’ve learned to go with the flow.  Likewise in the corporate world, uncertainly is the one sure thing, so we are already equipped to handle fluctuating situations.

She then joked that this  however was not a good reason to have children, but more that parenting was a training ground for managers.

She was an entertaining, thought-provoking speaker who was able to articulate the challenges facing women today and offered a completely different approach to changing the way we think about and value the caring role.