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Today, along with 500 other women, I went with great enthusiasm to hear Gloria Steinem give a luncheon keynote. She'd long been a woman I admired, someone who led the way for so many others. I'd also heard that she was a great speaker so I was keen to hear her for myself.

There was an intake of breath and groan when the organizer explained that Gloria had hurt her back and was unable to come to Ontario to give her presentation. At first I thought he was joking when he said that this was every event planners biggest nightmare, but he wasn't.

Generously they offered to refund the money if people were not happy with the event, and he was quick to advise that they had found a replacement speaker. "Tobin Anderson" he announced. There was a buzz around the room as people acknowledged that they had no idea who she was or what was her claim to fame.

Well, in the ninety minutes that followed, an enraptured audience learned more about Tobin - her courage, tenacity and indomitable spirit as she faced her battle with cancer.

As Tobin herself declared, she was a strange mix for a motivational speaker when her opening lines were usually that there were two certainties in life - we are born, and we die!

You couldn't help but be impressed with her attitude and faith, and her touching sense of humour. This is a woman who has learned to laugh at herself. She finds opportunity in challenges - big and small. Not only has she battled cancer once, but four times and her last bout was only a month ago, but she is determined to go on. Her mission is to help other people face their mortality and find the joy in their lives, living each day as if it was their last.

In the eleven years since her first diagnosis, Tobin has packed in a full life. She gave up her stressful job as a designer for Guess, left a relationship that was hazardous for her health, and moved from Montreal back to Calgary.

But of all the stories she told, the most impressive was her determination to climb mountains in the Antarctica, having never done anything remotely like this before. It took grit and determination to achieve this goal, and she did it.

Tobin's closing remarks were to encourage us all to look deep inside, to foster our love of ourselves and listen to our souls. Be your own best friend, she urged.

By the time she finished, any thought about Gloria Steinem was long gone. Sure we were disappointed, but then if it had all gone to plan, we wouldn't have had the opportunity to hear Tobin, and that would have been a big loss. I am sure everyone left today touched and changed by what they had heard, I know I did.

bizwomen

This week I was reminded of an important lesson in running your business - honesty is the best policy. When faced with a difficult situation, it is much better to be upfront, tell the truth, apologize and move on.

So often we prefer just to ignore what has happened or hope that it will just disappear, but does it really? As a result of getting back to the people involved, I believe I earned more respect for taking the high road.

Being a bit of a perfectionist, it's hard when events don't unfold the way I planned them. But what makes me think I am different from anyone else? Of course things can go wrong or off kilter. Contrary to my opinion, I cannot control everything. So learning to accept this and going with the flow is another vital survival skill.

Just remind me of this next time will you.

Yesterday I talked to a group of young mothers, complete with babes in arm, strollers and all that "stuff" you need when caring for a young infant. These moms get together once a week at a local restaurant in Toronto to have lunch and hear from a guest speaker.

Mothers in the City was the brainchild of new stay-at-home mother, Jordan Maher and her girlfriend Laurin Mayer. Together they run www.momsinthecity.ca, a service that enables Toronto moms to get out and meet other adults with similar interests.

Talking to twenty mothers and at least twenty infants was definitely a different speaking gig. It reminded me of my early days as a parent, when together with four other mothers we started the Oakville Parent Child Centre. That was twenty-five years ago, but seeing those tiny babes made it seem just like yesterday.

My topic was starting your own business and there was keen interest in this subject. There were lots of questions, and even better answers from some of the women in the group who have already started a business. These bright young women were interested in finding some way to supplement their family income, while still being available for their children.

I've actually often compared motherhood to starting a business. There's that same sense of excitement, fear, intensity and self-doubt. When you're pregnant you read all the books, take the prenatal classes and maybe talk to some friends who have ventured before you, but they are not always completely honest and nothing really prepares you for being a parent. Bringing that baby home from the hospital has to be one of the most scary but exciting experiences in your career as a mother.

Likewise, when you start a business, you read a few books, do some research and maybe attend a few classes, but reality turns out to be somewhat different. No one tells you it can be lonely, or that the phone won't ring or that there will be days when you question your decision to branch out on your own. We follow that "if we built it, they will come" mentality but it isn't that simple.

So what's the answer? Just as Jordan and Laurin have found - getting together with other people who are in a similar situation. First you find that you're not alone. When you compare notes, you'll discover that some people have it worse off than you. Be grateful. With time, you'll find that the friends you make will become your biggest supporters, as a parent or a business owner. These people will be your cheerleaders, will celebrate your successes, and bolster you up and remind you of your unique talents on days when you doubt yourself.

Clearly I don't do well on my own. When I was a young mom, it was the Parent Child Centre, and as a new business owner, I started Company of Women. And when I am a senior - who knows what sort of support group it will be - maybe the raging grannies!

Get connected. It makes a difference.

bizwomen

Ever had days when you are just not productive, no matter what you do, no matter what how much work you have to get done? That was me today.

Maybe it was the clocks changing, and that lost hour of sleep is catching up with me. Perhaps it was the downpour of rain, but today was definitely a day to work IN the business, not ON it. No. No big picture planning today. In fact, I probably should have just given myself the day off!

Now it wasn't a total waste of time, as I decided to play with my new toy - a card scanner - and the routine aspect of inserting and scanning the cards just suited my frame of mind.

I guess a day like today serves to remind me that not every day will be at fever pitch, nor should I expect myself to perform 100% all of the time.

So I am cutting myself some slack. After all, tomorrow is another day.

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Last week I had the distinct pleasure of hearing a young video journalist, Tara Sutton, share her story about working in war torn countries.

A heavy topic and some of the clips from her documentaries were hard to take over lunch. Yet we all need to face up to what is happening in other parts of the world; to the injustices and to the hidden truth behind the headlines.

Tara talked about how in North America we tend to honour and value celebrities, but in her travels she has met some individuals, she feels are more worthy of our admiration and respect.

Take the little boy she met in Ethiopia, who at eight, walked miles with his six-month old sister, so they could find food and comfort after their parents died of AIDS. He was a hero in her eyes.

As Tara shared her stories, you could not help but admire her courage, tenacity and honesty as she told it as it is. She is one of a growing number of freelance videographers operating in the Middle East, going to areas where the mainstream media are reluctant to send their crews.

Freelancers are usually self-funded, often have no insurance and no large corporation to back them up if they are captured or injured, and yet she continues. She shoots, reports and produces all her own work and has won numerous awards.

"Seeing things blow up and people being shot has never been what's interested me. The human story is always what I've been interested in." And you can see that, particularly in her feature Baghdad Kids where she interviews children to find out how they feel about the fighting in their country.

I left that luncheon in awe of this young woman, proud that she is Canadian, and once more, impressed with the integrity and skills our young women have to offer us.

Why did you start your business?

Did you see a need that wasn't being addressed? Were you following a passion? Or were you just plain disgruntled with life in the fast lane, and decided to get off?

I've just started to read Barbara Moses' new book - DISH - Midlife Women Tell the Truth About Work, Relationships and the Rest of Life. It's a fascinating read. Barbara surveyed hundreds of women and asked her "nosy" questions - her word, not mine, to get the scoop on how women in midlife are feeling about their lives.

You get the sense she's truly captured what is reality for many women working in the corporate world, where they have to wear a mask, play the game and juggle... fast. She describes so many women who are unfulfilled, unhappy at work and at home; and who feel trapped and unable to break this pattern. It's sad.

Being authentic becomes more crucial as we enter our 40s +. Our work and our values must fit. Reading the book reminded me of why I started my business. I was working for government at the time, focusing on women's issues. I'd just received an award and part of the prize was to attend this conference in Denver. One of the speakers, Bonnie St. Jean Dean, spoke eloquently about being authentic and her words hit home. I realized I wasn't a bureaucrat and no matter how I pretzled myself, I could never fit that mold.

However, just as we were leaving the conference, I got a call from my daughter. My mother had had a stroke and they didn't think she would make it. All of a sudden nothing else mattered. I had to get to England as quickly as possible. She lived on a small island, so it was not a quick or easy trip. It was touch and go, but amazingly she pulled through. It was quite the emotional roller coaster, and I returned to Canada drained and changed by the experience.

Suddenly life seemed too fragile, too precious to be spent working where I didn't feel I was contributing in a meaningful way. Between Bonnie's words and my mother's brush with death, I realized life was too short to be working where I didn't belong. So I left and started my own consulting business. And the rest, as they say, is history. I love what I do and I don't think I could ever go back to working for someone else. I am too used to being in charge, and I like it.

When Barbara Moses asked women where they can be most authentic and happy? About 80 per cent of the women said self employment. However, when she dug deeper, it was clear, as many of us know, working for yourself is not for everyone, and for some women who uprooted themselves from the corporate arena, the adjustment was hard. As she points out women "who have had a long corporate career are unaccustomed to the lack of structure, taking risks, hustling to make a buck..."

When I give workshops on surviving the first year in business, I am often asked how do you find balance, and my response has always been - you don't. Certainly not in your first year when you're establishing your business.

But then, when it's your passion, it doesn't feel like work.

So what's your story? What propelled you into the world of entrepreneurism?

bizwomen

We're in training.

Company of Women has its own team for the Weekend to End Breast Cancer Walk. We're calling ourselves "chicks out walking". There are seven of us, and several of the team are breast cancer survivors which probably speaks to the high percentage of women who are impacted by this disease.

We have to walk 60 km in two days, which for someone who maybe at a stretch will do the occasional 5km walk, will be quite a daunting feat (no pun intended).

Friday marked our first official walk, and five of us could make it. I can see this will be one of the challenges when some of us live in the same neighbourhood, and others don't. Most of us own a business, but a couple don't, so they cannot be as flexible as to when they get out walking, but we know we need to practice.

It was a lovely day and we walked down by the lake, enjoying the scenery and the company. I can see as the weeks progress, we're going to get to know each other very well as we chat and walk, walk and chat.

And on Friday we sure covered a range of topics, from children and parents, to husbands, politics and sex, and not necessarily in that order!

While I've known and enjoyed a friendship with two of the women for years, the others are more recent acquaintances and I welcome this opportunity to get to know everyone better and in a more meaningful way.

To me that will be one of the bonuses of this adventure.

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Welcome to my blog. This is my first entry. I'd been thinking of starting a blog for some time and wondered how I would fit it in to an already busy schedule. I'm not alone I am sure.

But last night at our Company of Women meeting, I heard an amazing speaker who inspired me and whose wisdom I wanted to share with all who could not hear her.

Carol Denman is someone who has won all sorts of awards - Canadian Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Award, Canadian Women Mentor's Award to name but a few. She's grown her business to become one of the PROFIT 100 Top Women Owned Businesses.

Yet she stood before us last night and shared that when she won those awards, there were times when she felt like an imposter, and that soon everyone would discover who she really was.

But much of her talk was focused on her most recent achievement - getting her pilot's license at 50. What does that have to do with running a business you may ask? Plenty. It takes courage, a sense of adventure, and just as when you start a business, an element of risk.

Carol shared that in flying "take off" is optional, but landing is imperative. Just as the women in the audience, mainly business owners, had taken off in their businesses, none of us know for sure just where we will land! But she encouraged us to stay the course. Often she found that when the going got tough and she was about to give up, she turned a corner.

In business as in flying, Carol advised us to face our challenges head on, to work through our problems with integrity. When you're honest and upfront when you've made a mistake, it goes a long way to rectifying the situation and helps you build a reputation as someone who cares and can be counted on.

Since starting Company of Women, I've had the pleasure to hear many successful women share their stories and I have come to realize that the stories that stand out are the ones told with humour and honesty.

These women, like Carol, are real. While many have achieved great success, they have not forgotten their roots, nor have they got a false sense of who they are.

So as I take off with this blog, I hope you will stick around to see where we land. It could be a fun trip.

Anne Day