Out of the mouth of babes

Last week I attended Matilda.  For those of you unfamiliar with the Roald Dahl’s story, it is about a little girl who has the misfortune to live in a home where the parents couldn’t care less about her and who attends a school where the principal feels children are just maggots.

Not much of a life for a child.  You will be pleased to learn that there is one character, Miss Honey, who does take a caring interest in the child.  But in one of the Matilda’s songs, she has a strong message for all of us. 

Here’s just some of the lyrics:

Just because you find that life's not fair, it
Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it.
If you always take it on the chin and wear it, nothing will change.
Just because I find myself in this story,
It doesn't mean that everything is written for me.
If I think the ending is fixed already,
I might as well be saying I think that it's OK,
And that's not right!

Interesting.  An important message for any of us who may be feeling stuck, who see no “light at the end of the tunnel.”  As Matilda says, if we do nothing it won’t change.

As we start a new year, what changes could you make?  As Matilda says, just because life seems predictable, doesn’t mean you have to subscribe to the ending you think is written for you.

Following extensive research, Amy Vodarek and I are finishing off our book Good Enough? which is coming out this Spring. After connecting with over 350 women, we’ve learnt more about how and why women suffer from self-doubt or feel an imposter, all of which holds them back from realizing their potential. 

But it doesn’t have to be that way.  Many of the women described digging in and making new and often difficult choices. But one’s for the better. It means we have to reflect on what is happening, both past and present, ask ourselves tough questions and look at small steps we can take to change the situation and take charge of our lives.

Because as Matilda says, to stay stuck, is not right.

Leap of faith

This summer while at a friend’s cottage, I witnessed her young son taking a bold, brave leap off the dock into the lake.  Now this was something he’d wanted to do for ages, but had never quite had the courage to do.

His face as he achieved this milestone, first with his life jacket on and then without it, was a picture of sheer joy and pride.

It made me think of the perseverance and determination we need as small business owners to achieve our goals and that sense of accomplishment we feel when we close our first big deal. It makes all the hard work to get there worthwhile.

The key, as our young diver showed, is you don’t give up.  You just go closer and closer to the edge until you feel you can make that leap of faith, that you will succeed.

Fired by his successes, he moved on to finessing and turning his jump into a dive, and with that successfully achieved, we had a hard time getting him out of the water!

Maybe this summer you stuck your toe in the entrepreneurial pool, gingerly lowering yourself into the water.  Know that there will come a time when you have to get wet, when you have to just go for it, and when you do, know that like my friend’s son, we are behind you, cheering you on because we believe in you and we know you can do it too.

Get ready to make your big splash. 

Be Real, Get a Life

For the past twenty-one years I have lived with cancer.  And I have done so privately. I haven’t been secretive about being a “cancer survivor” but I have chosen not to let cancer define who I am.  It is something that happened to me, but it is not me.  Yes, it has shaped who I have become and what I have chosen to do, but it is not me.

But recently I have decided to speak up more – not because I want sympathy or a pity party, but more because I recognize I have a message to convey.

I see too many people who do not realize or appreciate that we have one life to live and it could change on a dime.

I see too many people who do not realize their full potential out of fear, not stepping forward to shine.

I see too many people who sweat over the small stuff when it truly doesn’t matter in the scheme of things.  Get rid of the negativity in your life, you don’t need or deserve it.

That’s why I wrote my book.  And my message is – live life now. Surround yourself with people who believe, love and support you.  Do what you are meant to do…now and take that risk, swallow your fear and become who you are supposed to be.

TRY FIRST

When my kids were growing up, they would often ask where something was before even looking for it, and invariably it was right in front of them. And at times, well occasionally, they thought Mom had extra-special vision as even from a distance I would instinctively know where something was located.

Unfortunately some of us carry this practice into adulthood, and rather than persevere and try to learn for ourselves, we automatically assume we can’t and ask someone else for the answers or to do it for us. I know I have been guilty of this one, especially around anything technical or mathematical.

But really we sell ourselves short. And think of the sense of accomplishment, if we worked it all out and did it for ourselves. So next time you are faced with something you are not sure how to do, take a deep breath, tell yourself you can, and give it the “good college try” because when we revert back to the practices of childhood, we don’t move forward, in fact we go back.