Real connection wins the day

This has been a week of extremes – with amazing highs and disappointing lows.  As I sit to write my blog, a day late, which is an indication in itself of my week, I decide to focus on the highs, because focusing on the negatives, just pulls you further down and gets you nowhere.

The Rhyze Academy is a project of Innovation Guelph, through which 40 women who either have a business or want to start one, are taken through a nine-month course led by volunteer facilitators.    My month was January.

Initially I was asked if I could talk on work-life-balance.  Go ahead laugh. I did. There was no way I could present on that topic.  For those who don’t know me, I am the energizer bunny.  No. So instead I facilitated the group through the Personality Dimensions process so they could better understand themselves and those around them. 

While we are all a rainbow, our personalities are shaped by whether we are a blue, orange, gold and green.   We had fun.  This week I threw in an exercise where the women had to pitch to the other colours and it was fascinating at how creative they got as they tried to sell a new diet product.

One woman stood out.  She was marketing this beer that helped you lose weight with such aplomb that I had to ask her what business she was in.  A naturopath.  As I joked with her, she had a career in sales waiting for her if she ever wanted to go there.

As the women connected and enjoyed the exercises, I felt warm inside.  This is what it is all about.  Bringing people together.  Having fun and building community. It is what I have always loved about Company of Women.

Later in the week Laurie Hunt and I brought the women who are in the Company of Women mentoring program together to meet face to face for the first time.  In their pairs, they set goals and determined how they were going to work together.   On a much smaller scale, I could see the same thing happening.  The women were connecting on a deeper, authentic level.

So my big take away from this week is that when you are authentic, when you genuinely take an interest in another person, you can make a difference.

It’s not about money. It’s not about competition.

It’s about connection and collaboration.  It’s about being real and doing what you are meant to be doing. And for me, that means Company of Women.

Maybe we need the tough stuff so we can come to realize what is important to us and to be grateful for the opportunity we have to do what we love. 

So thank you ladies for filling my cup.   You made my week special. 

Like attracts like

Have you ever noticed that some people just seem to focus on the negative, so much so, that really you don’t want to be around them, as they kind of drag you down? 

I am sure we all have acquaintances who are always complaining.  Even when their comments may be valid, it is hard to buy-in and listen because you’ve heard it all before and nothing has changed.  They are stuck on that negative cycle, going round and round. So we switch off, tired of giving advice and no change made.

At a recent training session, Brendon Burchard shared that he’d had someone who attended one of his programs complain about his language.  In fact, she’d made a point of tracking the number of times he used certain words. 

First he refunded her money which was her request, and also apologized for his word choice, noting that he had to watch his words and be more careful not to offend in the future. 

But then as he thought more about it, he asked his team to replay the tapes and count up the number of times he’d spoken about hope, confidence, believing in yourself, etc…  The end number was impressive and far out-weighed the negative words.

So in his response to the woman who complained, he made the observation that unfortunately, when you focus on the negative, which in essence is what she did, you miss out on the good stuff.   How true.

When we spend our time zeroing in on what’s wrong in our lives, we give attention and energy to the negatives, and that is what we attract. On the other hand, when we focus on the positives, and take an abundance approach, we attract more of the same.

Let’s face it.  If you had to choose between doing business or being friends with someone who is always doom and gloom, versus someone who gives off positive energy,  – who would you choose? 

Recently a friend observed that no matter what, she always managed to find the silver lining in negative situations.  Not easy, and sometimes it takes time, but that attitude will take her places.

As we start a new year, let’s start with a positive attitude, because as Rosalie Wysockie used to say “Your attitude determines your altitude.”

Writing it out

We’ve just done a membership survey and it has been interesting to read the feedback as the surveys have come in.

Most are really positive and some useful information has been gathered that will help us determine our programs and services in the year ahead.

I guess when you ask for people’s opinions, you have to be willing to accept the good, the bad, and the ugly. We can all learn and grow from listening to others.

And I have always been an advocate of writing out all your negative feelings – that’s why this blog has been so therapeutic. Many a time I have written that angry letter that is never mailed.

So - to the person who wrote the vicious attack on me – I hope you feel better. My advice to you – whoever you are – is maybe this is not the group for you. My advice to myself – remember all the positive feedback, and let go the one person’s negativity, because it is all about her, not me.