Letting go of the perfection trap

For several months now I have been talking about doing webinars. I even invested in software to do it, and read the manual which in itself is a feat as I don't usually "do" manuals.

But have I delivered a webinar yet?  Eh, no.  So what is holding me back?  I could say that all things technical intimidate me, and while that would be true, if I dig deep, it is more than that.

I want to have all my ducks in a row.  I want to make it failure-proof.  In other words, it needs to be perfect before I take this leap of faith and put myself out there. I know I am not alone in this need to have everything just so, and I have to remind myself it is just a one- hour webinar, not a death-defying exercise.

I am often the person encouraging others to take risks, to step out of their comfort zone and move forward.  "Make the mistakes," I say, "you will learn from the experience." Perhaps it is time I took my own advice. Perhaps I need to give myself the benefit of the doubt, and got out of my own way and just do it.

At our recent retreat, I had the women set goals for themselves for the next two months, and assign a deadline by which time it will be done.  So when I mentioned the webinar idea, just in passing I might add, the entire group pounced on it, and in unison asked me when I hoped to achieve this goal?

We all laughed because they had nailed me.  But it also served to show that no matter how confident we may be or appear to be on the outside, there is often that little voice inside chiding you for your ambitions.  "Like, who does she think she is?"

What would I say to someone else? "Just take baby steps in getting towards your goal, so that by the time you have to do it, the whole activity no longer seems so threatening.  You are running the show, you know what you have to do, and yes, it may not go to plan, but think of that sense of accomplishment when it's done.  Let go of perfect."  

Wise words, i should listen to myself more often. So ... I have unpacked and dusted off the gear that I need, got my slides ready, and asked for help (another hard piece) in working out the technology.

Will I achieve my goal by the time assigned? Realistically, probably not, but that's OK too, because I am taking those baby steps to make it happen.  You see I have this great coach, I just need to listen to her more often:)

As Elizabeth Gilbert said in a recent interview, "imperfection never stopped men from putting themselves forward, so don't let it stop you."

The joy of technology. Not.

Last fall in my wisdom, I decided that we would offer more webinars to our members – three a month, to be precise, which was a serious undertaking, but I was thrilled with the way presenters stepped forward to participate.  Not only that, I drew on women from around the world – how cool is that.

Except for one thing.  Without fail, with practically every webinar, something technical went wrong. Even my more seasoned of webinar leaders, Jan, found herself talking into thin air – no one could hear her.

Then there was the webinar where the hook up wasn’t working, but it gets worse.  This month, we sent out the recording link for one popular webinar, having tested it ahead of time on our computer to make sure it worked, only to find that when you tried to watch/listen to it on an iPad, it took you to a porn siteJ

Another seasoned webinar presenter had a power cut right in the middle of the presentation.  I could go on.

Now in the past I would have taken all this as a sign – that the universe was telling me that this was not a direction I should be pursuing, but not this time.  No, to me what the universe is telling me is that I need to take more control over the technology used, and that despite my fear of all things technical, it’s time I learned more.

So that is my plan over the summer.  I’ve purchased a program and when it is quieter on the work front, plan to tackle and wrestle this technology, so that come the fall in 2014, we are fired up and ready to go.

Stay tuned. Technology permitting, of course.