What's your definition of success?

There is a joke that the only time success is achieved before work, is in the dictionary.   But what is your definition of success?  And more to the point, are you working towards success on your terms or someone else’s?

I have been discussing “success on your own terms” in depth this week, because at Company of Women, that is our wish for you.  Your success is our success. But what does it mean?  How do you define your idea of success.

Much is written and appears on Facebook about achieving the six- or seven-figure income.  All you have to do is take this or that course and you have it made.  If only it was that easy.  And it does beg the question, why six or seven figures?

What’s wrong with earning less?  Does that make you a failure?  Less of a person?  I find this thrust to push people to fit a mould, to strive for something that is someone else’s dream somewhat fake.

We all have our own definition of success.  Yes, we need to make sufficient money to cover our basic needs and maybe a few extras, but that is maybe just one criteria for success.

Raising our children to be kind, caring and competent adults might be one interpretation.  Making the difference in the lives of others, can be another.  All I am saying is that it isn’t always about the maximum amount of money you can make.

For many women, living a more balanced life with the ability to meet the needs of family and stimulating work might take the prize.

No definition is wrong.  The key is that you have to own it.  It can’t be what your parents dream for you or what your partner seeks.  

It is all about you.  What you want, need and desire to live a fulfilled life.   So tell me, what is your definition of success?  Let’s talk.

Lift weights and get ahead in business

Image courtesy of tiverlylucky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have had a fascinating week, interviewing women for the One Red Lipstick book. 

One of the reasons we embarked on this project was that we knew instinctively that women who are successful by society’s standards, often have a story to tell.  

As women entrepreneurs, we all know that it is never plain sailing, that often there are obstacles to be overcome, but we’re really good at putting on the mask (and the red lipstick) and acting as if nothing is wrong.

Sometimes success comes with a hefty price tag when we have been so embroiled and focused in our business that we neglect our health, take our relationships for granted and are so driven that really our life is out of kilter.  

I remember years ago having a speaker who talked about just that.  In actual fact she was there to talk on a different topic, but her recent realization and wake up call of how she was missing the boat was top of mind, and that is what she focused on in her presentation.   I applaud her honesty and willingness to be vulnerable.

We take our health for granted.  It is not until we have lost our ability to do something – as simple as just getting up without pain -  that we realize how precious life and our health is.  Success takes on a different interpretation, and maybe we need to revisit what success means to us.

Certainly in the summer the pace is slower. We take time to stop and think, but why can’t we do that twelve months of the year?  I am challenging myself with the same question. When I come up with the answer, I’ll let you know.

One of the closing questions we ask the women is what advice they would give to someone starting out.  I loved the reply from my last interviewee -  “Join a gym and lift weights.”  Her rationale? You need to be physically strong to stay the course.

Maybe that’s advice that would work for all of us as we weave our way through life.  What do you think?

Inspiring women wanted

Do you remember Sally Fields at the Oscars several years ago when she cried and said “you like me, you really like me.”  It speaks to how we all can second guess ourselves and need that pat on the back to say we are doing a good job.

I remember when I won the Entrepreneur of the Year award.  I felt such an imposter.  I’d been running Company of Women for six years then and it was still a struggle to make a profit.  I remember at the time thinking that while I may have the entrepreneurial spirit, I was glad they didn’t ask to see my financials, or they might have taken the award back J

Over the years I have received several awards and while it is often a humbling experience, it is also a proud one too.  It reaffirms that you are on the right path; that you are making a difference and your contributions have not gone unnoticed.

It can also be the confidence boost you need to go further in your career, business or personal life.  And so this year at the Journey 2 Success conference, I am thrilled to announce that we will be presenting the first Woman of Inspiration Award.

Now we are not looking for someone who has built an empire – we want to honour ordinary women who have shown extraordinary compassion for others; who’ve gone that extra mile in their business and in life.

Can you think of someone who has helped you in your business - giving you advice, helping you find customers or been there or provided support just when you’ve needed it?   Or maybe she volunteers in the community, giving her time to a special cause.

You can?  Good.  Because I want to encourage you to nominate her for our Woman of Inspiration Award.  So many women quietly go about their day-to-day lives without realizing the impact they have on others or expecting any recognition for what they do.

Well no more.  With this first Woman of Inspiration Award which we will present on May 26, we want to celebrate and recognize women who have had the courage to successfully launch a business and given back, helping others to succeed, be it through their volunteer work, mentoring or financial support.

In celebration of International Women’s Day, we want to launch this award as our way of celebrating the achievements of women within our Company of Women community.   The deadline for nominations is March 27, 2015.  To learn more, go to http://journey2success.ca/?page_id=418

Take time to celebrate

With our 10^th birthday coming up at Company of Women  my focus of late has been on parties and celebrations!

It therefore seemed appropriate to me that we talk about celebrations at our recent breakfast meeting. So as a way to get the meeting off to a positive start,  I had the women each share something they had to celebrate as they introduced themselves.

It was fascinating. 

The celebrations ranged from personal successes like surviving heart surgery, a new grandchild or getting married, to those of a more business nature – like finishing school, finding direction and physically opening a business after four years of persistently trying to make it happen. 

Each success was important in the life of the person and each marked a transition, a life changing moment.

As I sat and listened, it caused me to marvel at our resilience and determination to make life work for us.  For some it is hard work, digging through the dirt and baggage from the past, and yet they do it. In fact, not only do they do it, but they do it well, arising from the ashes as someone with wisdom to share to help others.

I applaud the courage and fortitude it takes to poke around at stuff we would rather keep a lid on, yet intuitively we know that we can’t move forward until the can is open, and the contents dissected.

How often do we reflect on what we have in our lives to celebrate?  Not enough.  This conversation got our meeting off to such a deeper, more meaningful start and we left seeing each other from a different perspective.  In fact, we’ve decided as a group to continue the dialogue.

I remember one year at our conference we had a discussion about celebrations, and the facilitator chuckled as she shared with me that one young woman, a lawyer from Bay Street, looked absolutely puzzled and horrified at the thought of celebrations in the office.  It was a completely foreign concept for her. How sad.

Life can pass us by so quickly and if we don’t take the moment to “count our blessings” to say thank you, to share our successes with one another, we’ve lost that opportunity to be grateful for what we have, who we are or how far we have come.   All too often we focus on the negative, and as they say, like attracts like, so you really don’t want to go there.

Let me ask you, what do you have to celebrate?  Tell someone.  You might be surprised at how that changes the conversation.

BE BOLD, BE BRILLIANT

In a recent editorial in the magazine Entrepreneur, Editor-in-Chief Amy Cooper, observed that in today’s economy, brilliance is the new bail out.

She is constantly asked about what is different about starting a business in this economy vs. a non-recession year? Her answer – nothing. As she rightly points out, it still takes a great idea, finances, a business plan, sweat equity and “a level of courage you can’t grasp until you’ve tried.”

However to succeed, she advises, you need to outdo yourself. Now is not time to be cautious, to hunker in and do the “same old, same old.” Now, she suggests is the time to be truly entrepreneurial, to take risks – OK, calculated risks – and as she says “to zig when everyone else is zagging.”

Food for thought.

SUCCESS COMES WITH A PRICE TAG

Work ON your business, not in your business was the key message to Bev McMaster’s talk on Wednesday night. And she should know. She grew We Care Health Services from a home-based business to 50 franchises across Canada, but it wasn’t without a price.

She found it hard to let go, and insisted on being involved in every aspect of the business, all this while working to maintain a marriage and raise four children. Something had to give and it did. Her marriage ended and her health suffered. It wasn’t until she was through her depression that she realized she needed to trust the people she’d hired to get on with their job, so she could get on with leading the company.

She called it Founder’s Syndrome and cautioned the audience not to fall into this trap of believing that they were indispensable. Today, while she is still a shareholder in We Care Health Services, she is very much arms length from the business and she likes it that way.

However, once an entrepreneur, always an entrepreneur and she has gone on to start another venture – Blue Sky Personnel. This time she has taken all the lessons she learned from running We Care, and launched a business where she is very much in the back seat. She’s not even a back seat driver, critically directing traffic from behind the scenes.

No, she’s realized that she has a very competent team working for her, including at one point, her son, and she doesn’t need to be involved in the day-to-day running of the organization. On the personal front, she has moved to Collingwood, and has a new partner. Life is good.

When you read Bev’s bio, you assume that this is someone who has her life together in order to achieve all that she has done, including the awards she has won such as Leading Woman Entrepreneur of the World in 1998. So to hear her presentation on Wednesday was an eye-opener. I always encourage my speakers to be honest… and she sure was. It took courage for her to reveal the darker side of success.

It felt like a cautionary tale of how ambition and the drive to succeed can take you down a dangerous path to self-destruction. And for many of us, as Bev discovered the hard way, that price is too high.